Running

Good afternoon @avant-garde,

How are you feeling today?

I noticed there have been some triggers, which have surfaced today around church...

I know I have heard about your experiences before, but I still sit with how painful and confusing they would have been for you.

I understand you are wanting to work through this current situation surrounding your visiting minister - I am sure it's a lot for your body to hold.

What comes to mind first when you consider what you might need in these moments? 💛

@AuntGlow

Releasing is hard and overwhelming but that's what I need and I know it but I don't want to get lost in the overwhelming emotions, I need a tether

This is some really lovely awareness you have here @avant-garde.

So, you're needing emotional release, but something to anchor you.

This looks different for everyone, so I am curious to know, what is one thing you could do to express your feelings and one thing you could do to soothe yourself throughout that process? 💛

@AuntGlow

Crying seems to be where it's at in terms of release

I am also plaiting a rubbish bag as a waterproof rope to tie my "brothers" birthday present to the stone pillar at his house on Tuesday as it's too big for letterbox.

I'm giving him my minion plushie because it has more hair than he does

Crying is good. 💛 @avant-garde

Do you find wrapping yourself in a blanket can help you to feel held, in a sense?

Ooh, that is really resourceful!!

😂 - what an intentional re-gift.

What other plushies do you have?

@AuntGlow

Touch isn't good with certain triggers, too familiar

I won the minion in a claw machine but I'm not up for talking about my plushies right now

@avant-garde This is a good reminder for me to have, thank you.

That's okay! Is there anything you would like to talk about further or anything else I can do to support you? 💛

@AuntGlow

Just be here? Hear me? So I don't feel I have to be silent with all this...

Of course, please share whatever feels right for you. I will be here. @avant-garde

@AuntGlow

I keep thinking, keep hoping, that maybe there was someone in authority, someone who could have done something to stop my childhood happening, that didn't abuse me...

But I don't think there was... I don't think there was a single authority figure who didn't fail me growing up... that didn't abuse me... didn't hurt me...

And I hate that even now I'm still realising how devastating my childhood and upbringing was...

How can this world be so horrid that for 21 years I had no adult help me find safety?

It isn't right! None of this is right!