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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde wow, that's so exciting!! 👏 how are you feeling about it?
what does it mean now that the preliminary sketches is done, what's next?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@rav3n

I use my fineliners to create the outlines and add colour using coloured pencils

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

It feels so completely lame to be grieving for teeth!

It's not my fault!

None of this is my fault!

I'm constantly living with the consequences of trauma and I hate it!

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Ok... going to be brave... might be a stupid idea... but I'll try... try...

@Jynx

hi

ok... now press post... I've got this... this is harder than I thought it would be... try...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde hey!

Wow, I had an email to you, all drafted up ready for a final reread. I mean, I can still send it if you like 😋

Hope you're doing okay hun 💜

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

ok

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Baby steps

Whether I like it or not right now, this recovery thing is easier with your help.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Allo! Any adventures unfolded for your Saturday @avant-garde?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

The usual washing routine was anything but usual!

It was a little distressing to start but evened out towards the end.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Oh no adventures in Sudsland went awry @avant-garde ? Sounds like you conquered it in the end!

I am SO overdue for a laundry quest, I think tomorrow I really am down to me last pair of undies! 🫣

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