FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

1,691 - 1,700 of 3,558

In response to: Running

Re: Running

You'll get there @NightFury

Whether it's 1 minute, 1 hour, 1 day or 1 year, the desire to try is still there and there's something to be said for that

In response to: Running

Re: Running

Hey @avant-garde how you going today?

Had any more thoughts about how you'd like to go about your celebration? Re the guidelines, well you're always welcome to email us a draft of the post first if you like, and we can check it over and ensure it all works. You seem to be pretty good at knowing how to share or not share detail thus far, so I think you'll do just fine.

With a celebratory post, it could be perhaps an opportunity for all members who want to mark a milestone of being free from SH, with the post being 'inspired by avant-garde's journey!' and can even link to your discussion thread from there? All sorts of ways we could do it.

@NightFury I am so proud of you for making it 24 hours!! How's today been for you?

Psst - no matter if your day was a continuation of the time or not, doesn't make me not proud of you 😉

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx I am not proud of me.

I'm...kinda chaotic today. All the feels...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@NightFury aww hun 🥺

Anything I can do to support you tonight? Space to vent for instance?

Hugs 🫂🫂

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx a vent sounds good, but not here. Maybe over on my thread...

I don't know if you want me to vent...it's just...a lot. I feel it...like I'm going to explode. That pressure. Maybe a vent will release it? I dunno.

Ps. Thank you for giving me a suggestion because I never know how to answer that question - what can I do to support you? Half the time...I don't know what I need. Maybe it helps to understand the options.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Of course @NightFury you'll have to tag me there I think

I want you... to do what feels right for you. If it feels like there's lots of pressure needing release, then maybe a vent is in order!! But don't do it because you think it's what I want, only do it if it feels safe, and right, for you 💜

Hehe you're welcome, I do always try to include one option cos then if it's the wrong one at least we have a starting point 😋

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

my head is going all grah like "stop all the bouncing balls already!"

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde bouncing balls? Have I missed something? Sounds not very fun?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

You haven't missed anything, just people thinking I can juggle the world and my reality at the same time, nothing new.

Oh and my tablet keyboard deciding to change and mess with the layout.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde ahhh, yes, the careful spinning plates of adulthood, love having my basic needs tied to money whilst also juggling disability and MHI, it's so good 😑😒

That is r00d of your technology too ☹️

Should we think of a win to share? Or do you wanna vent some feels or anything?

1,691 - 1,700 of 3,558