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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@AuntGlow

You're about to finish

I don't mind you

That's a compliment coming from me

Positive phrasing is something I find difficult

And thank you 💜

In response to: Running

Re: Running

So needing a distraction...


@Jynx wrote:

You could tell me a story?


Once upon a time there was a little cube who didn't know where she fit. She tried with the pyramids but she had too many edges.

She tried with the trapezoids but her angles were all wrong.

She tried with the dodecahedrons but she just didn't look like them.

She sat down on the curb and wondered why she couldn't find more cubes like her.

As she was staring at her odd cube feet with her odd cube shadow she saw another shadow getting closer

So she counted the sides

One, two, three, four...

she checked the angles

Yep, 90 degrees...

And the lengths were all the same

The little cube looked up and she saw

A bigger cube!

The little cube stood up and took the hand offered to her

Together they walked to the cube village

Where she had the same amount of sides

The same amount of corners

The same angles

And fit through all the same doors!

The little cube fit.


@Jynx wrote:

Your fav fairy tale?


Brothers Grimm versions or Disney


@Jynx wrote:

Or you could watch some cartoons?


Cartoons don't distract, they don't occupy my mind enough to make them useful. Science fiction, biographies and violence distract me. That and I don't have the bandwidth to stream. I get 240gb a year.


@Jynx wrote:

Been thinking of rewatching She-Ra on Netflix... Have you seen it?


Yep


@Jynx wrote:

Oh or jump into one of the social spaces, like the Best Friends Club? They're usually quite lively!


Usually perhaps but I could see the tumbleweed @Jynx

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde well, I appreciate this phrasing very much!

I'd love to hear about something that has made you smile today. ☺️💛

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@AuntGlow @Jynx

  1. I was driving this morning and stopped at a yellow light arrow. The car behind me gave that "uh, why did she do that" look in my rearview mirror. I started bopping along to my radio, making it very obvious to the driver behind me and the lady and her passenger (both looking twice my age) started smiling and giggling, then very obviously laughing
  2. I had craft group earlier and that's usually fun and today was no exception, i've been making boxes for the christmas party in december to use up all this paper and card that I have.
  3. When I was getting coffee before craft there was a friend of mine in the drive through line and she had her youngest in the car and while there were 2 cars in front of her I had ordered mine electronically and got to give her daughter one of the little biscuits on top which made her and me smile
  4. i'm in a library now and libraries make me happy, working on a document template for my poetry this year
  5. I woke up this morning to one of my favourite songs "dare you to move" by switchfoot and that made me smile

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

so did you like my story?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde allo allo! I did indeed! Hit me square in the chest.... hehehehe 😝

How's your Monday?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

6. I got to join in on baby rhyme time today and they had a bunny on old McDonald's farm

7. I got a kittycorn from a department store on clearance

8. Nobody hit me on the roads

9. I saw my favourite security guard

10. Also got caramilk mousse on clearance

@Jynx @AuntGlow

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Awww so cute!! Sounds like a lovely day @avant-garde 😊

Which is your fav? Big and floof or little and sweet?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Little and sweet because my cat is black and this one looks as stuck up as mine

Oh and I slept through the night!

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