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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

I don't know @avant-garde and it pains me to know how you have suffered. But we are glad you're here hun 💜

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

I don't do stupid things

It's nearly 7 years

I don't do stupid things

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde you can make it past these urges hun, you got this!! I believe in you 😎💜

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

I'm sweating and shivering at the same time how is that possible

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde perhaps cos human bodies are odd, and doubly odd to inhabit.

Are you feeling feverish? Usually that means feverish for me.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

*nods*

Temp is fine, pulse is fine, oxygen saturation is in normal range

Had a shower

Really tired now, still trembling.

I feel sick

I don't think I need [medication removed by moderator] like my doctor says, I get nauseous enough from my trauma memories.

Distraction please @Jynx

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde hmm well I can only really reply sporadically so I can make some suggestions liiiiike....

You could tell me a story? Your fav fairy tale?

Or you could watch some cartoons? Been thinking of rewatching She-Ra on Netflix... Have you seen it?

Oh or jump into one of the social spaces, like the Best Friends Club? They're usually quite lively!

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

You're asking *me* to interact with *others*

rrrrrrriiiiiiiigggggghhhhhhhttttt

*rolls eyes silently*

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde night night 💜

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@AuntGlow

I feel like no one should have to put up with my bad mood today

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