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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde here for you hun 💜🫂

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

TW: torture

Content/trigger warning
I know where the burns came from... it didn't click before... it clicks now... not where I thought they came from

@Jynx it's so much, it's so so so much

*shakes in the corner violently*

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

If this is a new realisation it's possible you've gone into shock @avant-garde

I'm so sorry that happened to you 😞

Wanna take a few deep breaths, check in with what you might be needing right now?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

This is new

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde here for you hun 💜

Do you mean the flashbacks are new?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

No, new realisation

I feel sick, alone and like nobody could ever understand what happened to me so there's no point reaching out to anyone in my life because they'll just make me worse

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde it seems to be a big theme in your life at the moment hey hun? Not feeling like anyone can understand your experiences is a wholly isolating experience, and that sense of isolation is like physical pain. It is entirely valid to be experiencing such immense despair about this hun 🥺

🫂🫂🫂

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

It's always been like this, I just gave up telling people because they failed to help and that just made it worse.

Why did he do it Jynx? Why did my dad hate me so much to do this?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde not sure that's a question I can answer hun. Maybe it's a question that doesn't have any kind of answer that will satisfy...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Why the heck did God give my dad a daughter!

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