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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

If I'm honest, I'm angry, I'm angry that people tonight assumed that I grew up Christian, that I grew up in a Christian home with good parents and a good church.

He was my first elder in this church and did he even listen when I told him when he was assigned to me what had happened to me? Apparently not because tonight I was insulted that he believed me dad was a Christian.

And in terms of my meeting earlier today, just got told to stop seeing Delilah as the enemy, but start seeing her with grace, even though my friend has no idea what she is capable of, that she's still welcome at church.

Grah! I will recover at my own speed! Not because I get bleeping told to!

I wish people would leave me alone sometimes.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

And then I hear on the radio about a vacuum cleaner and it hits me "I haven't seen mine" with everything I lost they threw out my Dyson. And there's nothing I can do about it. Duck.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx @rav3n

Why are people starting to take an interest in me?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde what kind of interest? What kind of people?

Also hi!

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Friendships I've developed with people from an organisation over the last 3 years... they want to interview me... for one of their productions...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde is it making you a little uneasy, this sudden interest?

Know what kind of production?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

a) excited and scared

b) just sent an email

@Jynx

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde 🫣👏🤞

Hope it ends up being a path to exciting new experiences!

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@Jynx

So yes! I am so thankful for the opportunity!

It feels like ages since we've actually talked...

How are you doing?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Incredible @avant-garde!!

Chugging along, trying not to let all the silly little adulting tasks get ahead of me! I have trouble figuring out how to spend my mana lol. Laundry, dishes, or vacuuming tonight? I tell myself I can do all three but fool myself every time 🤣

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