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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor

Re: Running

@Jynx

As in logistically...

  • with the zoom calls, are they video
  • I've done the DBT skills program twice and don't suck at using my skills
  • Scheduling is my main concern...
  • And the fact that I am limited in my data...

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator

Re: Running

Hmm I think mayhaps emailing the folks over at the recovery club? Or waiting for 0ddsidian to see this whenever they are next on @avant-garde sorry I don't have a lot to do with the logistics of anything not forums-direct!

Buuuuut I would hope that they'd wanna adapt like if it is over zoom, there's no need for video for example cos that would chew through your data. And if you don't think a group will be beneficial, you don't have to attend, you could even ask about alternative groups or you could attend but just be there to pass on knowledge instead of just to gain it?

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor

Re: Running

@Jynx

I won't be the only one with these questions, I can wait for Oddsidian (why does their name not come up when I put in the @ symbol? Literally cannot tag...)

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor

Re: Running

@Jynx

You're about to run away...

*throws snorflux at @Jynx and jumps on*

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator

Re: Running

Hehe it's cos it's a sneaky 0, the number not the capital letter @avant-garde 😋

@0ddsidian or @tyme maybe or @ElephantEar3

@avant-garde wrote:

I'm concerned about the time of day for the 15 week one, where it would land in terms of my schedule... asking about the sane 15 week program, assuming that was obvious...

I don't know how it works with having 3/4 different time zones in Australia.

All while dealing with the emotional toll of this mess she left me in!

Whether the groups would fit in with me and all... As in logistically...

  • with the zoom calls, are they video
  • I've done the DBT skills program twice and don't suck at using my skills
  • Scheduling is my main concern...
  • And the fact that I am limited in my data...

I think that's all the questions rolled into one post?

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator

Re: Running

@avant-garde *Gets donked and giggles*

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor

Re: Running

@Jynx

Oh that is sneaky!

You're right!

In primary school we used to use our calculators to write words

11345 = she'll

You'll be back tomorrow, I have doctors, book stupid dentist appointment and then chiro...

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor

Re: Running

@Ru-bee

Thank you for taking care of dreamy

In response to: Re: Running

avant-gardeSenior Contributor

Re: Running

@Jynx

I think I had a seizure during chiro... I am feeling really foggy

In response to: Re: Running

JynxModerator

Re: Running

@avant-garde ach, so rough!! What do you usually need to do to recover from a siezure?

Hugs hun

🫂🫂

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