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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

Aww that is so wholesome @avant-garde!! And sad that you don't have that support anymore. Do you two still talk?

Oh bless!! This means soooo much! It's so nice when we find those people who can be kind and gentle with our delicate lil souls hey 💜

I shall have to bid you adieu my dear!! I appreciate the chats, the company, and the beautiful connections we all have soooo much!

May you have a restful night hun, hopefully no more dead lizard surprises!! Ahaha

In response to: Running

Re: Running

I hope she's okay @avant-garde . At least you can treasure the moments you spent with her. It sounds like you both gained a lot from the relationship. I can see it helps with loneliness sometimes.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

I know her real name and found her Facebook profile so I do check sometimes

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

What else has been happening for you @avant-garde ? I feel I've talked to you, but not really TALKED to you...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

I don't know entirely what that means

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

It feels like I've interacted with you on the forums, but haven't had a deep and meaningful convo? @avant-garde Maybe that's it? I don't even know. I'm a little lost myself at the moment...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

I feel like we interacted a lot around Delilah but no, maybe not deep and meaningful, rather short and meaningful.

I often don't know where to start with conversation and find prompts or questions a lot easier as less overwhelming

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Totally @avant-garde . Or maybe it's just me. I haven't fully bounced back yet and I may be 'distant'. Someone was talking to me today. At the end of the convo, I realised I didn't take anything in that they had said!

Any hints? I think I'll do some ground activities tonight once I log off 🙂 Ooo! I've got an idea! I can use my Shakti mat!

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

How are you doing today?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Hehehe @avant-garde , you're so sweet.

I'm pretty 'distant' and 'average' I'd say. Maybe my sleep has been a little everywhere?

How are you managing with Delilah, Happy Meals, and Cats?

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