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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@Jynxlikethe adopt a grandparent or big brother service from rebellious teens

Adopt a mum program

I found a dead lizard in the first thing I brought inside

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Precisely @avant-garde!

Oh my stars nooooo I hope not too stinky?

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Re: Running

 

 @Jynx

Nope, interesting though

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Ooooh neat @avant-garde!! Could pop it on display in my house haha I got lotsa dead things around.

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Re: Running

@Jynx

Is it so weird that I feel safe with you? That I feel safe to be real on here?

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Re: Running

Dunno @avant-garde not weird to me, but maybe it is a bit weird for you!! And that's okay, teehee makes me all warm n fuzzy and a lil bit giddy to know this!! Honestly really means a lot to know that you have this space to be yourself! Cos you're pretty dang nifty I gotta tell ya 😊

In response to: Running

Re: Running

That's a lot @avant-garde . I hear the toll it can have on people to have to parent your parents.

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@Jynx

I had this person in my life, for over 2 years we used to talk everyday for 2 hours online, despite the time difference, she was in her 60-70's and she was my Amare.

Her husband had dementia and he took a turn for the worse that Amare had to take care of him full time and stopped being able to talk to me.

She was there when my seizures returned and would wait until I came to, to make sure I was ok.

My inner child missed her fiercely but she understood but missed discussing present ideas with her.

Even now I'm crying just thinking of her, you Jynx and @tyme remind me of different aspects of her and how much I loved her

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I can see what she meant to you @avant-garde , Do you ever drop her a message or anything?

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@tyme

For the first year I emailed her every month with no reply, them a couple of times the second year with no reply

I eventually gave up

@Jynx

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