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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@rav3n on hold for a few weeks, back on possibly the 9th May, if not then the 16th

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

ahhh such a wait!! what've you been doing in the meantime? @avant-garde

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@rav3n my case manager, some of her colleagues do cooking and swimming on a Friday and so I've been jumping in with them. We made rice paper rolls last week

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

I think I just lost my art class

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Hey @avant-garde ,

Are you okay?

Can you clarify what you meant by losing your art class?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

Not ok

My usual Friday art class is just a drop in type thing, typically just me during school terms

The owners are putting more and more things on a Friday, fortnightly workshops, now monthly home school activities and other things at other times.

It's kind of just pushed me out because I need structure and stability that I can't be messaging every fortnight to see whether she has the energy to deal with me on a Friday...

So I think I've just lost my art class

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

I totally hear you about routine @avant-garde !

Would you be able to send her a clarifying message so ask her directly?

Alternatively, are there any other programs you can attend?

My local area has outings, craft, sport, yoga, walking, coffee club, gardening, dancing etc. They provide routine and an social outlet to those who need it.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

I have other options, my case manager has put me together with the activities team to do cooking on a Friday and they do other activities too, but it's something I'm going to talk about with her

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Good on you @avant-garde . I can see you turning these thoughts into poetry to be honest. You are so articulate.

All the best with your conversation with her. I guess if you ask for clarification, then you don't need to wonder anymore.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

My case manager and art teacher are from different organisations. Asking my case manager for clarification isn't going to help me. I also feel like my art teacher sent the email out to avoid the conversation with me saying they can't do it anymore

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