creative_writerSenior Contributor
I feel nothing
I feel nothing. I don’t feel real, I am nothing. Nothing else feels real either
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I feel nothing
105 replies
In response to: I feel nothing
JynxModerator
Re: I feel nothing
@creative_writer how do you think your current psych would respond if you were to let them know that? About wanting a less clinical approach? Could be that it just isn't her style and that's fine, but maybe she just doesn't realise that's what you're needing!
Do you think analysing your therapists is a problem? Just curious to hear your take!
In response to: I feel nothing
JynxModerator
Re: I feel nothing
@Koa30 noice, what's cookin tonight? Not much on for me either, just had a super stressful house inspection so I guess I'll just be enjoying my temporarily clear floors 😅
In response to: Re: I feel nothing
Koa30Senior Contributor
Re: I feel nothing
@Jynx chilli con carne 😋. Oh dear yeah I had a inspection a month ago
In response to: I feel nothing
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: I feel nothing
@Koa30 I hope turns out delicious. I might take some food out of the freezer for dinner.
@Jynx I’m not sure how she would respond to be honest. Im not saying she is a bad psych, but it is not working right now. If I can open up more to one of my friends, I’m not sure what that says about our therapeutic alliance. I do try not to burden that friend with my troubles too often and often hold back, friends are not therapists. I don’t know if analysing is a good or bad thing, it’s hard not to overanalyse things and wonder whether my psych thinks I’m overreacting and understands what I’m feeling
@Jynx I’m not sure how she would respond to be honest. Im not saying she is a bad psych, but it is not working right now. If I can open up more to one of my friends, I’m not sure what that says about our therapeutic alliance. I do try not to burden that friend with my troubles too often and often hold back, friends are not therapists. I don’t know if analysing is a good or bad thing, it’s hard not to overanalyse things and wonder whether my psych thinks I’m overreacting and understands what I’m feeling
In response to: Re: I feel nothing
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: I feel nothing
@Jynx house inspections do encourage people to clean their homes. We clean afterwards too since we are germaphobes
In response to: Re: I feel nothing
JynxModerator
Re: I feel nothing
Oooh one of my favs @Koa30 yum!! I like making a huge batch then using it to top nachos, in burritos, or just with a side of cheesy garlic mash.... how do you have your chilli?
Yeah they're tryna raise my rent again. So bloody stressful!!
In response to: Re: I feel nothing
JynxModerator
Re: I feel nothing
Yeah @creative_writer sometimes we can just out-grow our therapists! And like, you could always come back to seeing her after exploring other options? Like you could always make a booking for 3-4 months down the track, have a couple sessions with a new person, and then if you like the newbie you cancel with old psych, if you don't then you know you still have that appt there and won't be completely without support.
I think it's totally fair to want to analyse your therapist. But like... what you're describing sounds more like you are really unsure about what your therapist is thinking (might go hand in hand with that clinical approach that isn't working), or whether she's judging you. Which to me is another red flag! There's an inherent lack of trust, and not enough reassurances to help you to feel safe to disclose - you reckon?
Also I am glad you've kicked off with Guided Service! Hope it ends up being what you need it to be 😊🤞
In response to: Re: I feel nothing
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: I feel nothing
@Jynx I can safely safe that I don’t feel fully safe in my psych appointments. I’ve always wondered whether that was just me as I struggle to feel safe with others. I can safely say I’ve been more open with my psych than many other people in my life, but she isn’t the safest person I’ve ever met. I have also noticed myself not talking about SA as much anymore. Maybe there is discomfort related to talking about it, initially I thought it was because I no longer needed to talk about it. It still takes up a big chunk of my brain, and it’s not so much talking about it in detail, it’s more about being able to say how I feel so affected by it. The internal dialogue and narratives keep me stuck, I have a lot of processing work to do.
I think trauma survivors often hyper aware of body language and tone of voice. It’s hard not to analyse therapists while almost being a social work graduate.
I think trauma survivors often hyper aware of body language and tone of voice. It’s hard not to analyse therapists while almost being a social work graduate.
In response to: Re: I feel nothing
JynxModerator
Re: I feel nothing
@creative_writer I think if at first you don't feel safe that's to be expected. But after many sessions (been years with this psych, right?) if they haven't been able to at least increase feelings of safety then I think a change is prolly needed. Never fun to do, I know.
Sounds like maybe you could also benefit from talking to someone with lived experience? Having that level of shared understanding can go a long way - especially cos you probably wouldn't have to explain those inner narratives quite so much to someone who is likely already familiar with similar ways of thinking. What do you think?
In response to: Re: I feel nothing
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: I feel nothing
@Jynx I just feel like the disconnect has gotten wider with time. Initially I felt things were working well, and there were clear goals to work on. Now it’s all in the air. I have started to feel less safe than I once did. I’m not sure what shifted, but I feel like something has.
Maybe it’ll help to be able to connect with someone with lived experience. I know many therapists do, plenty of us who are ND and have struggled with MI
Maybe it’ll help to be able to connect with someone with lived experience. I know many therapists do, plenty of us who are ND and have struggled with MI
