creative_writerSenior Contributor
I feel nothing
I feel nothing. I don’t feel real, I am nothing. Nothing else feels real either
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I feel nothing
105 replies
In response to: I feel nothing
rav3nSenior Contributor
Re: I feel nothing
that's great that you've got the guided service coming up soon too, i feel like having a new form of support can be refreshing.
oh i see @creative_writer i can see how triggering those memories can be, seems like a spiral of things from the past to future are weighing on your mind. how do you usually calm them down?
hope the dentist appointment goes well! i usually like being upfront with my doc/dentist if im feeling nervous or unsettled at the appointment - in my experience they tend to be nicer when you tell them you're not feeling great - hopefully the appointment flies by!
In response to: I feel nothing
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: I feel nothing
@Jynx I did get in contact with CASA but then chickened out because I was not sure whether I could go through the trauma details all over again. I did speak to my psych about it, she didn’t think the service was a good fit.
@rav3n it’s hard reliving those memories physically, but I am getting through it. I think travelling back and forth is the most exhausting part, I’m not as worried about the appointment
@rav3n it’s hard reliving those memories physically, but I am getting through it. I think travelling back and forth is the most exhausting part, I’m not as worried about the appointment
In response to: Re: I feel nothing
JynxModerator
Re: I feel nothing
Ahh fair enough @creative_writer - I mean, do what feels most helpful for you, I was thinking along the lines of sorta... finding some specialised treatment to address the SA stuff, and then something to focus more on the childhood stuff. I imagine they would interrelate of course, but maybe different therapeutic approaches may be needed. Food for thought anyhow - and maybe something to chuck on the back burner whilst you focus on recovering from the burnout. Gotta start with the basics after all.
You mentioned going back to uni, I dimly recall you mentioning you had to do, was it just one last subject? When does that start?
In response to: Re: I feel nothing
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: I feel nothing
@Jynx I want to work through SA stuff but without having to talk about in great depth, my distress levels can heighten pretty quickly and I don’t want to destabilise myself. It’s just that I have had moments when I discussed things in more detail and did not feel understood. Maybe my brain hyperfocuses on cues that the other person doesn’t understand me. I honestly found my psych too clinical at times.
I start back at uni next week, I have two regular weight subjects and one half weighted. The load isn’t too bad
I start back at uni next week, I have two regular weight subjects and one half weighted. The load isn’t too bad
In response to: I feel nothing
Koa30Senior Contributor
Re: I feel nothing
@creative_writer @Jynx @MermaidHair @rav3n
Hey guys sorry been busy how are you all!!!!
In response to: Re: I feel nothing
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: I feel nothing
@Koa30 I’ve been taking it easy today, burn out exhaustion takes a while to bounce back from. I do think I need to start filling up my day more since thoughts come. Though, overall, I think I’m doing better. How are you doing today?
In response to: Re: I feel nothing
Koa30Senior Contributor
Re: I feel nothing
@creative_writer oh okay then here if you need someone to chat. I just finished work so just relaxing now...
In response to: Re: I feel nothing
JynxModerator
Re: I feel nothing
@creative_writer yeah for sure darlin, no point going in-depth on your trauma if the person you're working with isn't able to hold that space and help you to feel safe during disclosure, plus putting in the work to ensure you're not walking out of the session super dysregulated. So if your current psych doesn't meet those requirements, they're probably not the right person to go delving into that stuff with. Maybe this psych is more suited to helping you manage stuff like uni and family stress or something, and you can find someone more specialised to do the SA trauma work.
How you doing today anyhow?
Hiya @Koa30 how are you trekking this fine Thursday? Anything on the horizon for you?
And not to worry about absences! Many members come and go, some are here every day, others can only pop in once a week or so. You do you! And don't feel like you gotta apologise for how long it takes to reply 😉
In response to: Re: I feel nothing
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: I feel nothing
@Koa30 @Jynx I’m just trying to figure things out, I probably won’t get the answers today, I’m just taking my time. My psych is a trauma qualified therapist, but I am very sensitive and have often felt dsyregulated after processing difficult sessions, but I don’t know if it’s the process of healing or whether it’s not the right fit. I guess i sort of wish she normalised my emotions more and was more emotionally connected as opposed to being clinical. @Jynx I have mentioned I once did have a short term therapist who I felt more connected to, when I spoke about SA, I could tell he felt my pain through non verbals. There is a level of deep empathy that can’t be taught. Also when I saw how my supervisor connected with her clients on placement, it made me realise things I hadn’t before. I am guilty of analysing my therapists.
I’m just chilling, I had my welcome call with SANE, the ball has began rolling for the guided service. Don’t have plans for tonight as of yet apart from regular self care. I want to start getting back into things slowly tomorrow. Do you @Koa30 and @Jynx have plans for tonight?
I’m just chilling, I had my welcome call with SANE, the ball has began rolling for the guided service. Don’t have plans for tonight as of yet apart from regular self care. I want to start getting back into things slowly tomorrow. Do you @Koa30 and @Jynx have plans for tonight?
In response to: Re: I feel nothing
Koa30Senior Contributor
Re: I feel nothing
@creative_writeroh well I really hope things improve and you get what you deserve!. @Jynx no nothing this evening just laying in bed will cook dinner soon.
