Support for JAT

After today @JAT

Relaxing with your friends sounds good 👍

@tyme , @tyme

Hey @JAT ,

Good on you for setting those small achievable goals for yourself. Really impressed. How did you end up going today?

@tyme

I survived, but chose to hand in my doctor’s certificate for another two weeks leave.

I need more time, and I didn’t have the energy to mask and be “happy” me. So there were lots of “what’s wrong?” And what’s up questions that sorta suffocated me and was quite overwhelming.

its a relief that I don’t have to go back tomorrow so that’s something.

but all in all it’s a win no matter what my head says. I just keep telling myself that my thoughts aren’t my reality, one day I’ll belive it hopefully 😂

if I don’t laugh I’ll cry 🙏🏻

If that's what you needed, good on you. @JAT

I wonder if you can go back part time and slowly ease back into it.

I'm glad your boss is so supportive.

@tyme @Ru-bee @Shaz51

Struggling with some weird feelings today, my partner is trying to be very proactive in getting me out of the house and today I agreed. Had a great shower and out make up on and did my hair nice for the first time in weeks. Looking in the mirror I see “normal me” but I feel like a fake because on the inside it’s totally the opposite? And it’s stupid but I feel like I need to look the way I feel so that people don’t think I’m faking or anything.

probably makes no sense.

I’ve Had a hard weekend, my 16 year old son has been making some silly decisions and dabbling in drugs and alcohol.

They lied about where they were going and ended up in a car with his friend and an older man known to my son’s friend through work which resulted in an accident at 139km and rolled three times.
my son is physically ok - other than being banged up and bruised and very sore. Someone was definitely watching over him, he is pretty traumatised by it and is going to be receiving counselling ect, had him at the doctors yesterday and an early diagnosis of possible adhd was brought up so they are going to look into that before any depression/anxiety treatments and medications.

i attended the scene and i feel like im just numb, my head whilst is so grateful he is here and safe and it turned out the way it did - my head keeps going to the thought what if it hadn’t turned out that way and i have so many emotions about it all. The police don’t know how they got out with little Injury and if they didn’t clip a letterbox and changed course they would have ended up hitting a power pole.

its a lot to process, and now I’m totally helicopter muming him but I think that’s my way of coping maybe?

I feel like it’s just one thing after another at the moment.

I am glad that work is great, but I still feel guilty for not being there I wish I could just stop all the thoughts in my head so I could function normally.

My partner is struggling too as he’s such a free spirit and with everything going on with me the last few weeks he feels suffocated. He’s great is reassuring me that he’s not going anywhere, but he is struggling and he hasn’t wanted to upset me so hasn’t said anything until now.
my head goes straight to “run and let him have a good life” but I love this man, and I know if he’s sticking around and supporting me even when it may be affecting him I know he loves me.
I kinda feel like I need to mask and pretend I’m ok so it doesn’t bring him down?

shesssh. That’s a lot. Thank you for listening 🙏🏻

@JAT it definitely does sound as though you've been through a whole lot!

I'm so glad to hear that your son is safe, thought understandably traumatised by what happened. It can be traumatic for loved ones too, to have to grapple with the thoughts of what could have happened and how close a shave it was. I can't imagine how scary that would have been.

I understand and can relate to having that feeling of guilt creep in when you can see that your struggles are having an impact on your partner. Supporting a loved one can be rewarding, but challenging. Does your husband have any supports he can lean on, or any outlets or hobbies that help him to feel recharged?

Perhaps instead of needing to put on a mask perhaps you could sit down with him and encourage him to make sure he's taking time to fill his own cup so to speak?

@Ru-bee

He’s off to boxing tonight, and does that twice a week. He loves ice baths but hates the effort of going and getting the ice ect so maybe I could go in the morning and get it and surprise him when he wakes up!

he does have great mates, and he said that his freedom is how he copes in the way of going and having drink and stuff with his friends, and I kinda think I’m suffocating that because of this episode and needing him close, so he doesn’t feel like he can go do that without upsetting me.

and then the cycle begins because I don’t handle him going and having his time and space because I have no idea what to do, as I mentioned in a previous post - I just sit, I don’t go and do things I just sit and worry and the paranoia kicks in and the abandonment starts and then I’m a mess. It’s like I freeze in time.

So there’s lots of pressure on him and I’m praying to be able to access some therapy soon to be able to feel safe and happy in my own head and heart 🙏🏻

Hey @JAT ,

How's it going? What's been happening?

Hey @tyme

I’ve had a lot going on the last week or so, so haven’t been on the forums as much. My 15-year-old son was in a 139 km car accident rolling four times so my issues were put on the back burner for a bit was caring for him. Physically he’s okay. He is struggling a bit mentally so we are dealing with doctors counsellors and TAC for him.

I seen my psychiatrist yesterday and have formally been diagnosed with BPD and they have also asked that I get an assessment for ADHD - I will when I can afford it as I’ve been off work for nearly 5 weeks now.

I am due to return back to work tomorrow (Friday) So we shall see how the second attempt goes and it also have a medical certificate for a week if I can’t function properly at work.

My moods have been up-and-down. The psychiatrist has increased my mood stabiliser to 3 times a day instead of once, And I’ve started that from today.

All in all, it’s been an emotional rollercoaster, but I’ve been doing a lot of reading and YouTubing to assist in recovery.

I am also now enrolled in DBT group therapy starting in August.

Thank you for checking in, I will definitely be more active on the forums. I had my welcome call with SANE but haven’t heard any more in regards to counselling sessions etc. So hopefully that does happen soon as it’s been nearly 2 weeks since my welcome Call.

Hey @JAT I hope you're son's doing okay and is getting linked up with a good counsellor

How are you feeling after seeing your psychiatrist and getting that diagnosis?

I hope tomorrow goes well, we'll be here for support if you need it