emotional discipline - another perspective BPD

You know the good thing about doing this, I'm being mindful without realising it. I'm watching my feelings constantly as just now someone had replied to my "send home by ED post"in somethings not right - due to my response letter after the investigation. They had suggested it was distraction therapy. Typing the reply to that post started to make me feel aggigated so I cut it short as I dont want to get negative or into a rage!

By the way my reward will be more of my cholocate slice tonight!

Hi @Change123,

I agree with @Former-Member this is a wonderful idea for a thread and it sounds like it is really working for you, with an added bonus of being more mindful without realising! So nice to see that this is having positive outcomes for you and you have been able to pick up on emotions and stop them from escalating. This can be quite a difficult thing to do and you're doing well!

You have defintely earnt that chocolate slice tonight

Well as far as work is concerned I did it, no negativity or rage.

Now I need to be able to do the same at home then I can have my chocolate slice!

I will have everyday now NO rage & negativity but will add extras ontop of that.

Tomorrows challenge - dont let sadness hang around for too long (today I was sad all day, no reason?) dont let it get to me and make sure I do something to break out of it before it takes hold.

Well done @Change123 you are doing so great. Keep going 🙂

I made my decision today to go to hospital even though i just told my oldest son 23yr and he wasn't impressed. His comment was 'oh so you're goiong to be in there for Christmas'. I told him no i hope to be out before then. he just doesn't get it and it upsets me.

Proud of you @Change123 xxxoo

@BlueBay Thanks

Things didnt go too well last night, I was trying to not be negative or have rage etc and was doing good, I tried to tell my partner something nicely at the end of the night which I know is a bit of a trigger for him and it must have come out wrong and he went right off at me. Didnt have sleep as I was sleeping on the couch and he would wake up through the night every hour or so and just freak out at me.

So today's challenge has changed now - its just to keep calm and not start crying at work as I dont know what will happen when I get home.

May not be on the boards much today as just trying to keep it together. I hope your stay goes well and unfortunately it seems no one gets it with us. But dont worry about your son just worry about you.

Take care

@Change123

A little setback is okay. you will be okay today. You've set your goal and I know you can do it 🙂

just focus on one day at a time, even an hour at a time. I start to wonder too if others really get us BPD. But I do get you, i understand what you're going through.

Pls take care, I will be okay once I get into hospital. It is my safe space, my time for tears and therapy.

Chat again soon xxxooo

Well I have managed to keep myself CALM to a certain degree, freaking out inside about a few things but keeping it in check.

Mainly fear is taking over as to what will happen once I get home but I'm trying to keep calm despite my partners turn this morning.

I will do everything possible to keep out of his way when I get home - if he lets me in as he has said he will lock me out.

Well I stayed calm last night - probably mainly due to exhaustion. Today I had to go to the post office where I lost it last time and raged due their incompetence and rudeness. But I was very calm or maybe again just so exhausted and fed up - I figured I dont want the stress of me getting all worked up so I had some nic epeople help me for a change and it all remained very calm.

This morning Im very tired still didnt sleep well, currently sleeping on a sofa - things not good at home.

I'm starting to dread my 3 weeks off now as I'm thinking what will it be like but I need to stop looking int he future and take one day at a time.

Todays challenge - remain calm and try to focus on just today and not think about the future and get myself all anxious.

Well yesterday and this morning is very challenging but I'm remaining calm. Last night just as I was leaving work my female boss went off at me for 15 mins " just what I need right now" it was actuallya bout the receptionist but it was also over the top. I remained calm and I managed to turn her around to a better mood so I accomplished more than I thought. Last night same, took all the yelling and remained calm. Still got not much sleep.

This morning already, I had a supervisor freaking out at a younger employee who has been dumped with 2 other peoples jobs " temporarily" who have walked out and is obviously not coping and making mistakes. So I stepped in as I was standing a few feet away and the mistake was due to miscommunication on the supervisors behalf. I told the supervisor in a calm way " well this shows 2 things he is human and makes mistakes and obviously with him taking on 2 other job roles its not working because its too much for him and a person can only do so much" the employee was happy I stuck up for him. Then I had to speak to the receptionist about what the boss went off about the night before and again the boss didnt have all the details and I think just wanted to rage to be honest. Anyway the receptionist who is in her 60's and her borther is dying from cancer and is about to die anyday has told me that if the boss gives her grief today she is walking out. So I calmed her down and said look I wont tell you what to do but from experience for your own sake do it the right way if you dont want it to be stressful. She is panicking for when the owner gets in so I told her I would come out to reception for something when I see she is in to try and help her through it. WOW and I have been here 50 mins and feeling very very tired.

So todays challenge for work is to remain calm and not to be negative (dont want to get dragged down) and home will be to remain calm and get some dam sleep.

Hello @Change123

Thinking of you this morning, how did you go yesterday with your keeping calm challenge? I bet you did well and hope you treated yourself!

Well done on keeping calm before you posted, I can imagine you are very tired and worn out from it all this week.

Are you doing anything nice for yourself tonight or over the weekend?

Lunar 🙂