emotional discipline - another perspective BPD

Hi @Change123,

I cant help but feel inspired after reading your post. What a wonderful and useful way of connecting with yourself and working on a daily task. The tools look like a great way of building self awareness too. I look forward to watching the "challange" unfold. Thank you for sharing and I hope you are finding ways of not letting rage get in your way at work today.

Best Wishes,

Pebbles

@Former-Member Thanks! I wasnt sure if I was being silly or not with no one commenting.

Well I just had a challenge (always the owners) and yes instead of getting angry to myself and ruminating I thought " no not my issue" as she was upset over something I had no control over" and then immediately thought " yes that brandy I can still have it" !!!

To me doesnt matter if its not connected with the thought ie. " dont rage because I have BPD etc" its simple I want my brandy tonight as silly as that seems but all I'm trying to achieve is to retrain my brain so it becomes a habit and if the thing that gets me there seems silly to others well I really dont care if I still get there in the end.

Even if no one else uses this I still will but I wont be posting on Fridays, Sat & Sun as I dont post from home.

@Former-Member and other moderators

If no one wants to do this with me on this thread, I dont know if I'm asking too much but if I dont post on this thread Mond, Tues Wed & Thurs to keep me accountable can you just add a post calling me out.

Thanks

she must know I want this damn brandy as she hassled me again but I thought again nope I want my brandy tonight - so I'm laughing now instead of raging as I usually would.

I just saw this thread @Change123 and I think you are spot on.

It is kind of my approach .. and guess what I got told I was addicted to DISCIPLINE .. lol ..

Not getting an instant reply can be for lots of reasons.

cheers Apple

@Appleblossom

Oh I realise with the replies people may not be able to from work or whatever and thats fine.

@BlueBay well I really enjoyed my brandy last night and no guilt because I earned it - actually changed my mood for the night too I was more relaxed with my partner - so it was an ok night.

My challenge today for work is no negative talk today - this may seem simple but where I work everyone is now negative due to morale down and it really rubs off and you end up talking negative and getting in a sort of negative minded day and everything becomes annoying and crap. My reward is I was going to get my favourite perfume in the next few weeks but if I can do this today I will buy tonight versace bright cyrstal absolut!

As I'm not working tomorrow and can only post from work I will post in at the end of the day to let you know how I have gone. I'm also going to set disciplines for the weekend, will let you know when I post tonight.

Have a good day everyone!

Hi @BlueBay

Well its 20 mins before I go home and I got through the day without saying anything negative!! I nearly slipped up once when an employee came and was whinging about the boss lady and I opened my mouth said one word and realised what I was going to do and instead said outloud to myself "I'm not going to be negative I'm going to be positive and I want my perfume!" The employee even commented "whats wrong with you today?" in a joking way.

Apart from being able to get my perfume tonight it has made me feel so much more calmer knowing I have achieved this!

I'm not working tomorrow so wont post till Monday but I'm setting myself a target for the weekend the challenge is my partner is always saying that I talk in a victim type way even when I say something that is not meant to be negative.

So my challenge for the WHOLE weekend is not to say anything that might put me in a victim light if I get through this till Saturday my reward will be making some healthy chocolate slice for me on Saturday. If I achieve it again on Sunday I can have some more of my slice!

Will let you know on Monday how I went.

Hope you are feeling better and not so down, try doing this even if its for one day. It really made me feel good knowing I achieved something with my emotions even if it was for one day. The trick is to turn this into a habit so we dont have to use the reward system and it happens automatically.

Take care

Wohoo 🙌 @Change123. I think what you are doing is awesome. Don't be too hard on yourelf I f you miss a day though, there is always tomorrow. I'm really proud of what you've achieved and you are inspiring me with it. Way to go girl.

Looking forward to an update monday regardless what of happens. You're doing great💜🤗

Hi @Change123

I just can't do it right now, I am not in the right frame of mind. Everything seems a struggle at the moment. I am sorry, i really wanted to join you and do this together - but right now I am not in a good head space.

You are such a strong person, determined to get what you want. This is so good @Change123

The only thing for me is that I don't have enough money to purchase anything for myself to praise myself so there is no point. I am so down, i am sorry.

Keep going @Change123 I am reading your post and am really happy for you. xxoo

@BlueBay

It doesnt have to be something you buy, it can be giving youself some space. Time out from family - tell them to leave you alone for 2 hours or something, a walk with Jersey girl -whatever motivates you. I understand if you are not in the right place but remember you dont have to purchase anything and the reward can be happiness!

My weekend went really well, I kept to the no victim talk and also at one stage my partner was looking a bit down so I even managed to pick him up. I actually had a good weekend - so why do I feel a bit sad and anxious?? I think often when things go good for me I get like this - probably because I'm not used to quiet and happiness.

Todays challenge for work and home will be both rage and negativity. I can still say things with a bit of a negative slant at home so today no negativity or rage at work or home.

@BlueBay you can still do this - your challenge can be decide for yourself if you need to go to hospital or not and your reward is the achievement for making that decision. You just have to learn to play with your own head to get the outcome you want. Look I'm going well now but I cant guarantee I will be going this well in a few weeks and that will be the test for me. I'm just trying to get my brain into good habbits while I'm capable. And look if I dont succeed for a day, its not a failure it just highlights the emotion I need to work on.

You have the strength as well and once you do it for one day and see how you can control them it will give you the satisfaction to keep trying.

Hope things get better during the day for you. BIG HUGS!