Battling between my head v my physical self

Hi @Misunderstood88

I'm so sorry to hear how difficult things are right now. It sounds like you have been managing a lot of challenging thoughts. I'm glad you've been reaching out for support, here on the forums and at the hospital when you needed it too.

It's great to hear that you've taken some steps with your medication to keep yourself safe from those urges for now - well done. It sounds frustrating though, to feel like that's also preventing you from getting to sleep when you need to.

Is there anything else that might help, even just a little bit, to keep your mind off those thoughts for a couple of hours or so until you can go to sleep? And anything that might help with sleep in the absence of extra medication?

I'm also wondering if you have a safety plan that you can look at in these kinds of moments? If not, you can put one together here. It says they're updating the page, but you can still make the safety plan although can't email it to yourself. Alternatively, you can download the app and do it that way.

Please keep posting here @Misunderstood88 but if you feel you need one to one support, there are also services available for just that:

Lifeline 13 11 14 https://www.lifeline.org.au/

Lifeline Text Support 0477 131 114

Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467 https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/

Samaritans 135 247 https://thesamaritans.org.au/

Thanks @Former-Member.

I feel like I'm really losing my mind.. I believe that everyone is out to get me or wants me dead... Im trying to reassure myself that this is not the case but my brain is making good points that this may be true... I feel that all of those weeks worth of work on myself is out the window or I may have taken 20 steps back... I don't know where to start again? And if I can do it again... It is so much easier to just end it than try again... It's more simpler that way...

@Zoe7 it's been challenging but at this moment I'm just barely getting by... It's tough job but I'm doing my best to keep myself afloat... I went and spent time with my family on sunday which cheered me up abit coz of my nephew being there... I wish I can see him more but it's not my decision... That lil munchkin doesn't know or isn't aware of how much he means to me and how he's helping me to stay alive.... But if my sister takes that away from me then I got nothing to look forward to so I might as well be dead than live in more pain and suffering...

Hey there @Misunderstood88

I just wanted to check in to see how you were going tonight ❤️

I can't sleep coz of the racing thoughts and nearly unbearable urge to SH or even suicide... I feel trapped and got nowhere to go but here.... I feel that my tv is telling me to just give into the urge and thoughts coz all I see on tele is to end ones life... 😕 I cant do the least harmful SH beacuse [edited SH method by moderator]. I'm left with the plan that could end everything... I need help and reprieve from this...

hi @Misunderstood88 i havent read all of your posts but im sorry to see your struggling with self harm urges and racing thoughts
Are you safe or feel you can keep yourself safe?

i will be up for a long time yet if you would like to talk? sometimes a distraction is nice?

What do you normally do or what normally helps when these thoughts pop up?

Hey @Misunderstood88 Sorry I have not been around - very busy week. It seems you have been having a difficult week also and my heart goes out to you ❤️ It is incredibly difficult sitting in that place where you do not now what to do and cannot get any respite from those difficult feelings. I just wanted to say that I am so pleased you are still here with us as I enjoy our chats and think you are a very courageous person. I know that really does not help a lot when we are in that dark place but I do hope it lets you know you are valued and matter.

@Misunderstood88 I understand it has been a particularly tough few days for you Hon 😢 I really do hope you have gotten the help you deserve and are being looked after. it is such a horrible place to be sitting and I can fully understand you not being able to see a way forward ...but I was in that place once and it was very much the support from my team and the amazing people here on the forums and in the wider SANE team that helped me through. Sometimes it does not matter how much support we have, we still feel that anguish and darkness but for me having those people around to listen, actually hear me and sit right beside me (even virtually) allowed me to feel less alone. It did take time though. Part of that was also medication and finding the right ones that worked. That was also a difficult time as many we tried had adverse effects and actually made me feel even worse (didn't think at the time that was possible).