New puppy new life new Thread.

@tyme I think that applies to any journey especially the ultimate one, life.

Most definitely @Gillie1

@Gillie1 Good to hear from you. Yep Its hard when they are sick or dealing with some behaviours. They are also not cheap, but probably worth it.

Puppies can be great for socialisinng. Love what you posted "I am starting to see the world through her eyes."

HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE MANAGED TO INVENT BOREDOM.

Walked round the block with Cookie today, caught up with some neighbors I haven't said hi to for a long time.

Had my support worker over to help with things around the house and getting into my assignment.

Finished my assignment that I was stressed about.

Cookie went nuts with the change of routine and strangers but we survived. Cookie is now resting comfortably in my arms and we are watching the latest episode of Picard.

Full on but we survived. Life is still an adjustment but we aren't giving up. Not on my course and not on Bravely going out in the world. I am still insecure but feel alright.

One exhausted dog and Gillie

Two exhausted beings means one good sleep? @Gillie1 LOL

Definitely lol. Goodnight @tyme .thanks for being there.

I wake up this morning with some big questions. Some I don't have the answer to. I really do need a good counselor to talk these things through with bur for now I have you guys.

Now I've gotten through to the people who matter right now this week and next. I need to make changes but am not sure how.

I need to make changes in how I talk to and about myself that's half the problem. I wouldn't even consider thinking about my worst enemy in the way I treat myself. It's quite confronting realizing that and working out where to start.

The other thing is trying to work out what to do about my family. I've been having a break from them but I need to work out how and when to let them back into my life.

I know they love me and I love them but as much as they can't see it that love comes with judgment, that love is not unconditional and never has been. I will never be the person who fits into their box of normal. I will always be an emotional being. Not aggressive or abusive just emotional. I will never fit the gender norms my family sees as male/female roles. I can never sit comfortably with patterns of behavior that have been established in childhood.

That doesn't mean I don't love them, I even understand and empathize with their confusion I don't blame them but how do I interact with them without hurting them or myself? It's a big unknown for now.

At the moment I'm still recovering. It's like I went through my trauma of 15 years ago all over again except this time I was aware of everything the whole time and couldn't change a thing. The only thing I could do at times was block out the information from my brain. The difference is this time I had people who knew me and helped me through it.

Just the idea of "what is love" has teased philosophers and prophets and even proletariat for centuries...hasn't it?

Is it an abstraction?.. A verb?.. Eros?.. Endorphins?.. Agape?.. A metaphysical, spiritual resonance that infuses matter with meaningful life?...

Whatever the case (and I could write an essay on the subject), there were experiments carried out decades ago that proved infant's do die from lack of love ...

@Kyle1 Too true. What is love? It's the glue of the world. Sometimes it's claggy and holds you where you don't fit but can't move from, and sometimes it cements bonds of perfect joints that just belong together. Sometimes it is like velcro that helps people connect and then move away as needed.

Either way, people would fall apart and be scattered in the wind without it. Nothing and no one would function without it as a core part of the world.

I couldn't resist.

“And what would humans be without love?"
RARE, said Death.”
― Terry Pratchett, Sourcery