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Socialising for Beginners

AppleblossomSenior Contributor07 Mar 2023, 9:00 pm AEDT

Socialising for Beginners

Thanks for the encouragement @Jynx

I put it in the Looking After Ourselves section as I believe the forums social spaces do a good job, of allowing the online community to get together in various social ways. I am more interested in working out or working through real life socialising experiences. Where we do not have the protections offered by anonymous online interactions.

Socialising for grown ups who have been isolated and are trying to re-enter general community groups or just trying to meet people is no easy feat. Its more difficult than for children and puppies as we usually have a lot more baggage, whatever that may mean.

From the online dictionary for a start:

verb: socialise

participate in social activities; mix socially with others.

"guests can socialize in a real holiday atmosphere"

make (someone) behave in a way that is acceptable to their society.

"newcomers are socialized into orthodox ways"

Similar words:

interact

converse

be sociable

mix

mingle

get together

meet

Seems to require more than simple social skills training.

I started one therapeutic relationship with that as my main goal. I knew I had limits and was willing to learn, but she was not a great a teacher and eventually admitted it was not her strength. I have accepted that I am relatively introverted and there are advantages and safety with that, but also the yearning for human connection persists within me. So I do not really want to keep myself to myself. This forum has been a wonderful opportunity for me to try different things and meet people.

Just tagging a few who I feel may be interested, but this discussion is open ...

@Dimity @Historylover @Shaz51 @Owlunar @Eve7 @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope

@MDT @StuF @TAB @tonys

What do you think?

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In response to: Socialising for Beginners

DimitySenior Contributor13 Mar 2023, 9:39 pm AEDT

Re: Socialising for Beginners

Thanks @Shaz51 and now I'm in a better place to help support others when they need it.

In response to: Re: Socialising for Beginners

Shaz51Senior Contributor13 Mar 2023, 9:41 pm AEDT

Re: Socialising for Beginners

totally agree my @Dimity for us both xx

In response to: Socialising for Beginners

tonysSenior Contributor13 Mar 2023, 11:53 pm AEDT

Re: Socialising for Beginners

Social muscle, build it and they will come. "close encounters"

I make a fool of myself each day, making the effort, and then I crack an egg and, bingo,

its a double yolker , @tyme best wishes tonys Mb 1

In response to: Socialising for Beginners

MDTSenior Contributor14 Mar 2023, 6:40 am AEDT

Re: Socialising for Beginners

Just had a memory

I remember in school when I did music my music tutor told me he was placing me in the deep end so that I could learn how to play my instrument at the next level above. I thinkhe received some pushback from the music teacher who took an unusually harsh view towards my ability.

Looking back over that experience along with all the other experience I had in life ,- school, uni and the like.. I have begun to realise that by doing this deep end approach I've always come out floating or swimming. I think socialising is the same for me to be honest. I placed myself in many deep ends over the years.

In response to: Socialising for Beginners

HistoryloverSenior Contributor14 Mar 2023, 7:03 am AEDT

Re: Socialising for Beginners

I just wasn't thinking about warming up beforehand, @tyme.😉

In response to: Re: Socialising for Beginners

AppleblossomSenior Contributor14 Mar 2023, 1:47 pm AEDT

Re: Socialising for Beginners

Ha ha @tyme unco ... lol ... I cried so long, I am determined to laugh as much as I possibly can these days. Mostly at me ...

Yep @Historylover already had a few laughs with the ladies at yoga this morning. They were happy for us all to cheer each other up, cos we were all in chronic pain, so wots else is there to do.

Think the laughter thing is like a muscle too, gotta flex it. I now reflect that for most of my life I was consumed with fear, and had no idea how to have fun, so not good at openers. All too serious. Which has its place, but this is where my life path is leading me. To contain all the feelings and not let the sadness, anger, exhaustion or grief or darker emotions overwhelm me.

Yep @MDT read a bit of Sartre, but more de Beauvoir.

shallow google search:

"What is the main point of being and nothingness?

Being and Nothingness discusses the being (ontology) regarding the structures of our consciousness and the ways those structures help us experience and perceive the phenomena of the world around us (phenomenology)."

I never finished it but dipped in enough here and there early 80s. To be honest, thought it was a long winded ... w a n k. Oh no did I say that. Great title tho.

@tonys think I will mention your line of 'prince and pauper drinking from the one cup'?? ... to the minister next time I see him. Think he will like it.

Hey @Dimity @Shaz51 hope you can cope with me being naughty sometimes.

In response to: Re: Socialising for Beginners

tonysSenior Contributor14 Mar 2023, 2:25 pm AEDT

Re: Socialising for Beginners

Oh boy you made me laugh. . . . hard. @Appleblossom I"m reading the bit you wrote to hams, and of course I didn't understand a word of it. . . I mean, I new you guys went to university and all, but

you didn't tell me you built the place. . .!

And don't even try to explain some of that. My brain just went through the kitchen blender.!

Have fun, look after yourself . . . . . and. . . I'll just go play with my coloured

plastic blocks over here. chuckle..

tonys moon base one.

In response to: Socialising for Beginners

MDTSenior Contributor14 Mar 2023, 2:46 pm AEDT

Re: Socialising for Beginners

Indeed @Dimity

In response to: Re: Socialising for Beginners

MDTSenior Contributor14 Mar 2023, 7:42 pm AEDT

Re: Socialising for Beginners

Yeah a lot of it was a w a n k
@Appleblossom

In response to: Socialising for Beginners

tonysSenior Contributor15 Mar 2023, 9:06 pm AEDT

Re: Socialising for Beginners

thankyou for that @Dimity Hope this finds you well and happy. Peak picking season and sometimes miss posts, glad I found yours. Little gift for you

Every days a good day.

I guess the things I do say

Is told to me in white cloud shapes

and the way the the tall trees sway.

Bless ya mate. counting sheep tonys moon base one.

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