FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Recovery Club

Socialising for Beginners

Socialising for Beginners

Thanks for the encouragement @Jynx
I put it in the Looking After Ourselves section as I believe the forums social spaces do a good job, of allowing the online community to get together in various social ways. I am more interested in working out or working through real life socialising experiences. Where we do not have the protections offered by anonymous online interactions.
Socialising for grown ups who have been isolated and are trying to re-enter general community groups or just trying to meet people is no easy feat. Its more difficult than for children and puppies as we usually have a lot more baggage, whatever that may mean.
From the online dictionary for a start:
verb: socialise
1.
participate in social activities; mix socially with others.
"guests can socialize in a real holiday atmosphere"
2.
make (someone) behave in a way that is acceptable to their society.
"newcomers are socialized into orthodox ways"
Similar words:
interact
converse
be sociable
mix
mingle
get together
meet
Seems to require more than simple social skills training.
I started one therapeutic relationship with that as my main goal. I knew I had limits and was willing to learn, but she was not a great a teacher and eventually admitted it was not her strength. I have accepted that I am relatively introverted and there are advantages and safety with that, but also the yearning for human connection persists within me. So I do not really want to keep myself to myself. This forum has been a wonderful opportunity for me to try different things and meet people.

Just tagging a few who I feel may be interested, but this discussion is open ...

@Dimity @Historylover @Shaz51 @Owlunar @Eve7 @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope

@MDT @StuF @TAB @tonys

What do you think?

336 replies

141 - 150 of 336
1...141516...34

In response to: Socialising for Beginners

Re: Socialising for Beginners

Yes mate, my samy was a freebie. get good reception, but thats where the joy ends.

Small complex , battery life poor, End of the day, your the one that says, paint it red.

Follow the gut.. stay safe friend.. tonys

In response to: Re: Socialising for Beginners

Re: Socialising for Beginners

ha ha @TAB seen her when I researched belly dance

@Dimity saying I was cut off in conversation was not at all directed at you. I was grateful for your intelligent discussion. It was more about feeling some freedom to actually go through gradual getting to know you conversations without agendas sitting at a table.

Yes TAB learning about play. Note It has been thoroughly researched in nerdie manner...

It is part of why I became a neurodivergent and hit the books, as I was surrounded by languages other than English, a lot of swearing and bullying, and also LOUD amplifier types with loud alpha male tendencies and silencing me as part of it. Silence was my usual response. I did not CHOOSE music, but it chose me, later, as I was pushed into earning by exhusband. Now I am drawing from work in many fields... which can help in play .... work and play are not mutually exclusive.

In response to: Socialising for Beginners

Re: Socialising for Beginners

Hey there @Dimity @Appleblossom . Hope you are both well.

Very interesting and complex where your comments re diplomacy, Shows how foreign embassies are the shop fronts of the nations values and history that built them.

On the farm its a lot more basic. If theres 9 lollies in the bag, 4 will be my half.

and not always feeling like I have to win. Whenever I do win. . . Ive actually lost.

But your letters had some words that are going on the yet to be explored pile. so thankyou

for digging deep and expressing. I keep saying to the book keeper,

See, there is gold in them there hills. tonys moon base one

In response to: Re: Socialising for Beginners

Re: Socialising for Beginners

Thanks .. and Ha ha @tonys Sometimes on the farm its more basic.

I have worked on farms too. Dairy and olive picking.

A woman of WIDE experience.

I do love how it showed me how to be down to earth.

Also I tried to get along with the amplifier guys TAB ... then and now ... and learned a bit ... but so happy yesterday had a lady in my house who understood Tech and IT and the PLACE for ACOUSTIC instruments and not turfing them all in stoopid praise of the the current tek state of affairs ....as some mistaken types in the church were pushing ....

@TAB Last night the duo at the amps and mics were very average, but I still had a boogie ...

I am dte enuff to respect the work of actual human hands ... it does not matter how many digits .... Django R managed to work without the full deal ...

In response to: Re: Socialising for Beginners

Re: Socialising for Beginners

Well said and enjoy yourself @Appleblossom

https://youtu.be/74jS3dW0DtE

In response to: Re: Socialising for Beginners

Re: Socialising for Beginners

@Appleblossom @TAB Hey Appleblossom. Amps. You reminded me of when I worked for a few months in a Hi Fi store in dandenong. Did a deal with two nerds that owned the store so that I could

"work of' a sound system. Spent 2 months trying to explain to folks the difference between

a "hi fidelity equipment" and a stereo system. that valve amp is now 45 years old. It was a lesson to the farming life. Horses too, are selective feeders, and gunshy. . .

tonys moon base 1

In response to: Socialising for Beginners

Re: Socialising for Beginners

Hi
secretly I struggle with socialisation. For many years I have got around it by having intense one on one friendships. Yet these all have their endings too. Maybe it really is one large planet out there and I am still finding ways to join in with it that result in true friendships not intense false ones. Here's hoping to the future - Im still a beginner at socialisation and really introverted. Some days I just think well that's okay. Others the loneliness burns at my heart.

In response to: Re: Socialising for Beginners

Re: Socialising for Beginners

@tonys Interesting co-relation between farm and hifi.... lol

yes I knew a lot you were into their hifi.

Son has just brought new JBL speaker cos old one started crackling ... new tek ... he let it be obvious to me, and I had to agree it was not working properly. At least he is becoming analytical about it more than consumptive ... i think you know the difference. I was upset cos his father instead of giving him tools of mastery over tek, was enslaving him with it. So I felt I had to counter that. Slowly I think we may be "getting it".

I know a lady who milked cows into a gourd, whereas I was used to a herringbone dairy ... different tek ...I knew more about that, than the actual pattern of weave ... for men's coats ... lol

Socialised again last night. Oooh bending this way and that ... still trying to fit in ... had a dance to better music, but there were 2 drunken ladies ,, friendly at first ... but ... obstreperous as time went on ... the people in the club and I are slowly getting to know each other ... hope that works ...

Son is seeing his son today ... and I am giving him space and doing social music of another kind ... I am very lucky to have a few strings on my bow ... so to speak....

In response to: Re: Socialising for Beginners

Re: Socialising for Beginners

..getting to know peeps @ club @Appleblossom who are you ? Lol

Enjoy 😉

In response to: Re: Socialising for Beginners

Re: Socialising for Beginners

No drunken ladies today ... good music with a sense of humour. We made it and networking continues.... car pooled ... yay

going out to eat with son for birthday when he gets back tonight. yay

141 - 150 of 336
1...141516...34