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I don't know what to do..

Unknown userMember07 Oct 2016, 6:58 am AEDT

I don't know what to do..

I'm struggling.. Big time!
A psychiatrist put me on new medication over a month ago, but doesn't seem to work. She asked me to go back to my GP for follow up as it causes me too much anxiety seeing her. My GP says the tablets could take another month 😞 another whole month of feeling like this just seems unimaginable 😞
I'm seeing a new psychologist today, freaking out. I feel crazy because I can't find one that helps me.
Trouble is hardly anyone knows I'm struggling because I pretty much put on a happy face mask 90% if my life.

56 replies

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In response to: I don't know what to do..

Unknown userMember09 Oct 2016, 6:09 pm AEDT

Re: I don't know what to do..

Thank you again for your replies. For the first time, I feel supported here.

A bit about my back ground/story.

I was subjected to severe trauma growing up, which I've still never dealt with, my mother is a drug addict who has caused a lot of pain over my childhood/adult years, I now have nothing to do with her. I had a beautiful daughter who we almost lost at birth, I spent the first couple days without her while she was in another city 700kms away.

Since then, as much as I don't want to admit it, I've suffered severe depression and anxiety. Very few people know I'm struggling, because I'm such a happy/bubbly person on the outside.

I've tried to self harm a couple of times.

I've been through 4 psychologists, 1 psychiatrist.. and the only people I trust is my
GP and my friend!
My husband is amazing but he doesn't get it. My dad is very supportive but is always away on holidays.

I feel alone, isolated. And I feel like everything is an effort.

In response to: I don't know what to do..

Unknown userMember09 Oct 2016, 6:12 pm AEDT

Re: I don't know what to do..

I wish I could phone beyond blue/lifeline but I can't even do that. The only thing I can do right now is chat online, and I only last a few minutes doing that.

In response to: Re: I don't know what to do..

Unknown userMember09 Oct 2016, 6:16 pm AEDT

Re: I don't know what to do..

That's ok @Former-Member, just do whatever you can right now. It's great you're able to come online and chat, even if it's just for a few minutes.

Don't forget you can also contact Lifeline online here. If you feel up to it 🙂

In response to: I don't know what to do..

utopiaSenior Contributor09 Oct 2016, 6:50 pm AEDT

Re: I don't know what to do..

@Former-Member. If you can only manage talking on here - that's perfectly okay. We are not specialists, but we come with different life experiences.
Sounds like you never got to grieve after almost loosing your daughter. That would be a traumatic experience to go through on it's own.
Don't worry about counting numbers - boy - I've had at least 13 or more psychologist / counselors in my time.
Some weren't good at all. Some helped.
My latest is brilliant.
I guess I'm saying - just don't give up trying.
Husbands, partners, friends and family. They can help to a degree. But it does depend on what they are able to cope with. It's just too hard to understand - if you haven't lived that experience. Some people can empathise - some just can't.
Keep posting here anything you want.
If I'm not here - someone else will be & vise versa.
You are not alone.

In response to: I don't know what to do..

Unknown userMember09 Oct 2016, 9:10 pm AEDT

Re: I don't know what to do..

I feel really down tonight. The thought of putting on that brave face and going to work, absolutely makes me cringe!
I feel like I'm a failure because I feel like I should be getting better by now, I've been trying to deal with this for so long and I don't feel any better, I only feel worse.
I wonder if it's even worth it?

In response to: I don't know what to do..

Unknown userMember09 Oct 2016, 9:13 pm AEDT

Re: I don't know what to do..

Hello @Former-Member

I truly empathise as I can remember the pain of feeling like that - the overwhelming anxiety and distress. And one minute feels like a hundred years even though the reality is its a short time and will pass.

Your GP is right. For some anti-depressants to work it could take longer to get into your system properly to work to its fullest potential. Any med will take time - and it can be trial and error unfortunately sometimes and also to work out the right dosage. But given time you will eventually find the right treatment.

Take a deep breath and hold onto the hope of better times to come when going through the rough period. Most meds do make us feel worse or be non effective until they are completely absorbed into our system. Follow the advise of your GP and don't panic but deal with it "one day at a time". Don't think of the day ahead or even the hour ahead but just get through minute by minute. Otherwises you will become overwhelmed.

Believe you will get better - be positive about the outcome and keep your mind and body busy in the meantime to distract from the side effects and mental anguish you are feeling presently. Remember - one day at a time. It will get better. Hugs xx

In response to: I don't know what to do..

Unknown userMember09 Oct 2016, 9:14 pm AEDT

Re: I don't know what to do..

Hi @Former-Member

Sorry to hear you are struggling so much atm.

I think it is great that you are thinking about going into a private clinic and I think you are probably half way there to getting yourself well and you are already on the road to recovery.

You are not alone in feeling anxious about seeing a health profesional. Only you know if this person is right for you and it may take a few goes at finding the right person. But the psych you were seeing maybe quite okay because they go into this field to help people.

I've suffered from quite severe depression and anxiety and I have gone into a private clinic last year and 2014. I have to say it really helped me because of the program offered at this clinic and I think also because I was ready and I truly wanted to make a change in my life and also I couldn't go on longer how I was going at the time I probably didn't realize this.

Even this year I though I mite have to go back into hospital but because of family commitments and other factors I didn't go back in. But I have continue to do what learnt in hospital and the things that worked in there. I am still getting benefits from the program now.

With my anxiety symptoms, I thought it to have a domino affect on my depression, and I think if your anxiety levels are really high and having other symptoms ie insomnia. I think exercise is really important to manage until you get some further help. Plus trying to get some more structure in your life.

I'm not sure what you do day to day but I think you should focus on that and trying to reduce your anxiety levels and even writing down that in a journal would be helpful. In terms of monitoring your anxiety and to see what patterns are happening too. Perhaps even starting to write a jornal might help as well.

If you have any questions- happy to help if I can. Please take care of you!!

In response to: I don't know what to do..

utopiaSenior Contributor09 Oct 2016, 9:34 pm AEDT

Re: I don't know what to do..

@Former-Member. If you find tomorrow morning that you can't go to work - that's okay. We have sick days. We have mental health days. Speak to your gp. He/she may recommend a few days off work - to help ease your stress.
Oh the COULDS & SHOULDS. I know them well.
It can be so hard to to quiet the brain - that negative self talk. But you can. It takes practice. And sometimes the negative talk is more intense.
What can you do right this minute - to calm your thinking? Making yourself a cup of tea. Doing some knitting or art. Breathing. Just literally closing your eyes & focusing on breathing in slowly and deeply. Then focusing on breathing all that air back out. Can you sit like that for a few minutes?
I find this helps me. And if a particularly hard moment - even just 3 deep breaths in and out can help

In response to: I don't know what to do..

Unknown userMember09 Oct 2016, 9:56 pm AEDT

Re: I don't know what to do..

ive cleaned, got everything ready for work and daycare tomorrow. I'm all sorted. I'm just watching tv, trying to distract myself, but it's not helping.
I feel so lonely, I just feel like no-one cares, I'm left out of everything, like I'm the odd one out. I see what my family and friends have done this weekend, and I wasn't invoked with any of it. Is it because they don't want to be around me? Is it nothin and I'm overreacting? I just feel shit. I so badly want to feel better.

In response to: I don't know what to do..

LarutanCasual Contributor09 Oct 2016, 10:00 pm AEDT

Re: I don't know what to do..

Hi Teej, thank you so much for your welcome, that was so kind of you

I apologise if I've crossed any boundaries, or stepped on anyones toes. I pretty much dove in head first.

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