Trying makes it worse

um yeah I was in a bad space @maddison better now. uh op is friday week. hemi-thyroidectomy.

still a bit funny. going to see about a Will shortly, not trying to be morose, just prepared. got more lawyers letters today for O/S aunts estate threatening me w legal action if I dont pay their bills ha ha lucky have someone on my side working pro bono lol, so just forwarding letters to them and keeeping it zipped lol

@EternalFlower Yes I know it can be hard to live in places like that. Its what I grew up with, and it meant I became quiet, an introvert and studied. I do not even know if it is what came naturally as it was more of a case of the only choice available to me, as everyone around me was big and loud, shouty and sweary, but it was not my parents' way, family's way or my way.

There can be different problems with snobbery being hard to deal with, and harder to pin down.

@maddison Love that you are looking at clouds differently because of wanting to paint them.

@TAB Keep plodding on. Dont let the Bast**ds grind you down.

Nearly at end of list for today @Appleblossom hoping to snap out of it after that Thanks

Good to read you are feeling better now @TAB & good work reaching out. Surgery is a big thing. It sounds like your reactions are completely reasonable. Likely, one of those things that ebbs & flows re: emotions as you process.

I'm reading it's a common procedure & serious. Not morose organising will. I imagine it's heavy to deal with. I think you will be absolutely fine. I find planning & preparing can be very soothing, when things feel out of our control.

The importantist question is... Did U get new pj's?

My brain has twisted it to worst possible scenario lol @maddison

got to re set. Plus should have done Will ages ago anyway.
so not really That related..

yeah I live in Kmart sleepwear can't really tell not top and trackpants lol but yeah prob look at something a bit newer

Hi @maddison @TAB @Appleblossom

Good idea @TAB re ear plugs, have not used them much. It's on the weekends very congested here, busy, party goers etc, teens and young people stumbling back froma a night out

Or not so young people sometimes lol

Hi @Appleblossom do u live in quiet enviornment now? Interesting how noises can trigger us! We find ways to get a little quiet corner...

How are u feeling @TAB , I hope not too stressed and some time to breathe.

Buying pjs at kmart is my thing, I buy so many. So did u get something new?

I saw my psychiatrist today, thankfully he didn't begin the session as he does each week: "how are u."

Honestly I want to cry when someone asks me that very seriously as I don't know what to say, I scan all my feelings and have no words for them. No how are u today thankfully (no problem for anyone here to ask how I or anyone are...just a therapy thing i hate)

@maddison a 65 year old actor died today who was om AHS, I'm checking but I think he might have been in a few seasons...

Hi @Former-Member @tyme

Went home after lawyers @EternalFlower ok with chinese.

Really happy u have pro bono legal help, pretty awful all that legal drama, hope goes well @TAB

Feeling bit funny after therapy, very sleepy.

Masks off now in therapy , which is so weird when Ur used to masks

Feel exposed and weird!

@TAB just reading, wishing u good luck for next Friday.