Trying makes it worse

Hi everyone @TAB @maddison @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @tyme

Hope ur OK @maddison . Sad days are hard...hope u are OK and sitting with it as best u can. Hi @TAB I google a bit as well to cheat on annoying crossword clues. I'm not so good either. Hi @Appleblossom I love words, thank u, it was very sweet and sensitive to read ur lovely word...I'm glad therr are words for these in between states.

I do wordle every day which is kinda crossword like? My friend got me onto it and u have to guess a 5 letter word in 5 tries. I've learnt lots of 5 letter words from it! A few days ago it was "Enjoy" which I didn't get because of J being an uncommon guess. It's a bit luck.

Today was, really, really really extremely and overall...not good.

I had a lot of minor issues with ppl, some I couldn't control, some I could have done better....and in the end of the day had to call psych triage from inside a shut bank behind the sliding doors, as I was in a public place and too scared to go home.

I also just had so much resistance because I was recently committed...

Psych triage was not too bad, they requested i contact a support person and make an immediate safety plan with them.

I rambled a lot.

I was meant to catch up with a friend tomorrow but I cancelled because I know I will sleep late because the whole thing today was too much. I feel like I can't do simple things now, like drive somewhere far or make decisions.

I feel safer now and am trying to reflect on that, calling the Triage "worked," so to say. So maybe I can be proud that I called.

I called because I was considering going to hospital and I thought better I call or go voluntarily...so I have freedom to leave.

Hope you're safe now @EternalFlower

Thank u for taking the time to comment and check in @TAB

I am up tonight and a bit frantic

Hope i didn't "waks" you in the cyberworlds.

I am thinking of how little privacy I have at home and wishing I had a bit more space.

I am also worry9jg about all manner of things obsessively.

I actually got into a fight with the receptionist at my drs clinic over no appointment saga and am scared to go in tomorrow. How silly

Hi @TAB I've met people who've told me similar, re not having ego and not having any need to be right. I guess we all find a way to protect ourselves,

I attended my therapy session today and I was met by the boss who has told me she just can't fit me in for more appointments as Dr too busy.

Maybe Ur friend was surprised because he has a sense of being right being impo4tant to him.

Ur right in the wrong run it doesn't even feel satisfying being right. More important to have peace.

I feel like i need my inner child to know that I'm taking care of her, so I want the shift to be not about me winning or proving someone wrong but just me making sure little me isn't hurt. Sometimes I feel I am not safe,

Like today or yesterday.

Being safe means different things but today it meant leaving a harmful situation on my own terms.

I feel safer.

I am a bit scared of the rains and floods, on a side note, stay safe please all @TAB @maddison @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @tyme

Hugs my @EternalFlower ❤❤

Sitting with you my friend

@TAB , @maddison , @Appleblossom

Thank u Hun @Shaz51

Cross posts!

Its self preservation I guess @EternalFlower putting yourself before others prob what I meant

stay safe

Good on you for having insight @EternalFlower

Recognising when I am safe and not safe has been very tricky for me, due to childhood stuff I guess. The inner child can be great at helping in self care so long as it is an a playful or joyful manner and not too much responsibility heaped on her little shoulders.

Maybe the clinic is not a good fit. Hard to get in elsewhere but maybe worth looking, rather than settling for 'less than' care.

Hi @Appleblossom yes it shouldn't be a burden, maybe just from fun like u said and kindness to protect and reparent

I'm at home now cosying up. I feel I may need to change clinics for a better fit.

I hope ur doing OK and feeling OK.