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Trying makes it worse

Trying makes it worse

Hi,

I'm EternalFlower and I've been feeling completely overwhelmed, sad, and pessimistic.

I've tried and been a responsible patient and person, reaching out to various services when I started feeling scarily anxious and suicidal, 2 years back..

My Dr is new, a young guy who regularly admits he's inexperienced, and aside from some good jokes, he actually does very little

I notice how easy it is to blame myself that I don't feel better, a total shame spiral, but I wander if my treatments just are bad....

I wanted to chat and hear anyone and hope I can use this space to help not feel so alone.

Thanks xxx EternalFlower

2606 replies

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In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

I will wish you luck but not for social combat. Everything you need, you have. Street Smarts.

Yes there may be times when you have to go all 12 rounds in the ring of fools, But A pragmatist

with street smarts. . . The safe moneys on you every time. Your time is currency and you know that

disengaging and walking out is not retreat. Its just sound economics.

A thoughtful polite challenge to our ideas is enjoyable and welcome and may change my outlook , . .and detente, a peaceful picnic in no mans land or a can kicked down the road. Anything less than this is a waste of ordinance and time, You know all this, so lets just call it

positive reinforcement . .

As for me, I'm not quick at cunning, . . . So swap some pride for, running. Theres still a lot of

unexplored fields out there, devoid of enemy mines..

For my own MH, I still find most times retreat is still the most productive strategy in a world where

many are too lazy to offer a logical polite alternative ideas. Opposing views only forge enemies in the

absence of curtesy and intellect. You have these in spades @Appleblossom, so i guess I'm saying,

don't loose bark swinging at stupidity. We can all be a little stupid sometimes. Thats when friends

should be forthcoming but polite. I like you because you are one of the few that take the time to offer people this. Tea trollies arrived.. I need to put a cake in it .. don't I

Take care my dear friend. Enjoy the eve. Tonys. mb 1

In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hey there Stuf.. Your never outta line mate and I'm lucky to have your friendship. Some see the ponds reflection. Some see through it. We know little of each other but the few clues I have elude to a deep thinker. Too few of them running the planet unfortunately It takes fragility to sense it. Like you , I hope I'm not overstepping.

As for the nurses and care in here, they cop so much demanding abuse from others, winning em over has not been hard. Think my rooms become a little save zone for them, but boxes of chocolates is like bird seed in here too. Funny thing though. I'll pretend I'm asleep and they forget I'm here and have

there little natters. They are so lovely. Very lucky I am. Room and care is wonderful. You know what meds are like though. One more poem and I think they'll toss me out on the street. . .

I do hope you are well @StuF and I hope one rainy day you have a little time to tell me a bit about your shoes, the prints they've left, and what the world has been like through your eyes. One day... But then I guess the music you choose goes someway to doing that already. Stay safe n warm Stuff and thanks again mate. tonys

In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Bulls eye @TAB That kind of music is right in the middle of my flower bed. Thanks a ton mate.

Hope the eve paints a special sunset for you to toast life to mate. Yes pain can be a touch exquisite at times, but a deviant delve into it can reveal the edge of ourselves to us. Venturing beyond is ground gained. . . Take care TAB.. tonys.

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

yeah , love it when the cover beats the original .. @tonys said Jimi to some Garden Gnomes .. lol

trying to plan my excursion to big smoke to get stuff to make up hearth for fireplace.

Got 30mm slate 1200 ^2 lined up fm quarry thinking couple sheets 6mm villaboard under it. Friend has hers straight on floor never had a problem , dunno .

Hope hosp treating you okay

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

You're all so lovely @TAB @tonys @StuF @Appleblossom @Zoe7

Very good eggs 🥚🥚🥚

Hi @tonys ur so dear to me thank u. I worry and hope ur ok, we all are with u

@Appleblossom i realise i have bad attachment issues and i was too attached to my dr because he neglected me. It is...a lot. He is coming back in 5 weeks and its ok but the worst part is he didnt tell me..just in last 2 minutes of session said it was the last time. Im in crises and not doing great and i needed a few weeks to recalibrate.lol that was his word.

He sent me an email saying a break in therapy is often a chance to "reflect and recalibrate" ...so i looked it up. His message was ok and he said "hope to see you upon my return" but i am thinking to move on and seek different care. I have been put on a waitlist for a new psych and until then i have my emdr psychologist who is an older woman with a wide view....she is street smart and stable, a breath of air from my doctor who was intense and chaotic.

welcome @StuF

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

.. take it easy @EternalFlower 😊

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Love your comment @TAB hope u are doing wellm u have great taste in music.

I have had a topsy few days.

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Howdy @EternalFlower 🙂

I hope you find a resolution for your Dr situation

In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

I am really pleased to hear your psych is waiting to start EMDR @EternalFlower That, and the fact you respect her, also gives me confidence for you that she is taking it slowly to allow you to be in the right space to start. For me, it was too much and my GP stopped it for me after seeing how I was after each session. I then worked with my pdoc on ways to move forward and to put the past in the past. That was a real turning point for me but it did take a lot of work. I hope this treatment for you does the same 💖

In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

You really get me @Appleblossom although i am sorry ur son went through that

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