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Trying makes it worse

Trying makes it worse

Hi,

I'm EternalFlower and I've been feeling completely overwhelmed, sad, and pessimistic.

I've tried and been a responsible patient and person, reaching out to various services when I started feeling scarily anxious and suicidal, 2 years back..

My Dr is new, a young guy who regularly admits he's inexperienced, and aside from some good jokes, he actually does very little

I notice how easy it is to blame myself that I don't feel better, a total shame spiral, but I wander if my treatments just are bad....

I wanted to chat and hear anyone and hope I can use this space to help not feel so alone.

Thanks xxx EternalFlower

2606 replies

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In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hi @EternalFlower

Just want you to know that I am listening and hear how frustrating life is right now! It’s only 6:30am here, will write more later.

Hang in there,

Meggle

In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hey @EternalFlower I did EMDR for a bit but it was too re-traumatising. I know it has worked really well for some other members though. I think it is something you have to go into with both a skilled and trusted professional as well as have the option to stop at any time but they are all things you can discuss with your psych. As always, different people get different results, but well worth exploring.

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hey @Oaktree thanks so much

Hey @Zoe7 im sorry it didnt work and was triggering. A lot of trauma therapy has felt that way for me

This makes sense because the practitioner im seeing is waiting a while til we both feel ready to start with emdr. Til then we just chat and focus on other goals. She is experienced and quite senior. Dont love her, but respect her

Hope everyone is well

Hi @TAB @tonys @Bunniekins @Oaktree @Owlunar @

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

.. respect is something @EternalFlower .. Hi and hope you are okay enough today

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hey @TAB i am doing ok today .

Currently waiting for my real estate agent to come deal with some stuff in my apartment. Wandering if they will come at the last possible moment lol.

I do respect my therapist, it is hard to trust. She has good practical ideas so I walk out of the session feeling like I have resolved some issues. I don't like therapists who stay out of details of your life. I want to be able to talk about things like finances, family, friends, hobbies etc.

My Dr (psychiatrist) doesnt ask me about that stuff so I feel he doesnt know me. What food i eat, how i relax, how i spend my money...he is too important or stressed or awkward to show support on these matters.

I hope u are well too! Any luck with the chairs? It sounds like a table will be a good find! It is hard to find a good fit for the space. I hope u find some great furniture

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hey @EternalFlower

Pity your doctor is going away.

You had some reasonable moments with him, but they were limited.

It seems fairly common in what I have witnessed.

My son would respect and attach to one but they moved on fairly regularly, and he lost respect and hope in that system. I tend to juggle it as 'necessary' and pray for the day when it is no longer needed. When I was in 20s and 30s I might attach with STRONG feelings, but these days I am more practical about it. Good enough is better than nothing.

To me it seems important to focus on one's own therapeutic outcomes, while doing the delicate dance with whatever professional personalities and skillsets come your way.

Has been good to see you wandering around the forum a bit.

Couches have their place too.

I love what you did to the word ... vegetabling ....lol

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

@EternalFlower Hello @EternalFlower Sorry things are so harsh, and I could not have been there for you sooner. Typing is tricky. I'm in hospital for a bit. Skin grafts. Cant have many visitors for too long. Infection risks. . But I'm mending and will be back to share stories and life with you. I once said that you are the person I most worry about on sane. That hasn't changed... Please hang in there friend. Spring will herald in warmth, light, fresh idea's and hope.

Hi @Appleblossom . Saw your midnight post a few nights back, but couldnt respond. How are mate.

I see your making expeditions into the uncharted social seas and accepting the unpredictable weather

as you go. As brave as any explorer, your tenacious approach to the unknown will always bear more successes than failures and you accrue wisdom, and is to be admired.

Or I could just say. . . Good onya Mate. Take care Appleblossom.

@TAB How are ya buddy. Thanks for staying in touch and tags. n songs. Attack life head on hey..

Any other way just wont do for folks like us, will it mate. Back to talk solar inventions and other flying machines when I'm a little less medicated mate. Take care Tab

Hey @Oaktree Give your hubby my very best wishes for his opp. Big hug to the pair of you. Everything will be fine. Happy gardening little mis green fingers.

@StuF Hope you are in good spirits mate, We surf for that perfect wave. . . and listen for that

perfect song. always tomorrow. take it easy mate..

@Thyme Thanks Thyme. thoughtful and wise owl you are.

All the kind hearts on Sane. We all have differences but a greater something brings folk to this place

time and again. Stay safe warm and peaceful. tonys mb 1

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Thanks for wot U sed. @tonys I will try and wear it as armour, and help reduce my anxiety aboiut it.

Played computer game with my son this week, feeling the wisdom, in all those different concepts, of health, vulnerability and styles of combat and interaction ...

Wish me luck tonight.

I will be back in the fray.

It helps a little, even to have someone to say that to.

Cooooeeeee Waaa Waaa Gggrrrroowllling grass frog ... calling ....

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

.. onya @tonys from what i've heard about skin grafts no amount of medication can be enough some times .Good Luck ..

playing 'Head On ' 1976 remaster by Stooges .. think Igg may have his meds mixed up or geot them right .? ..

okay something more tame .. Prince.. Being Prince .. , blows everyone off the stage then security stops him falling backwards into crowd around 0532 lol

before he throws his guitar into the air , walking off not looking to see where it landed .. lol...........

https://youtu.be/6SFNW5F8K9Y

have watched it more than a few times now, but just cried reading the comments.. 'refused to rehearse' .. did you see the look on dhani's face.. etc ..

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hey @tonys

Sounds like you've been having fun...Not!!!

I hope they're being nice to you at least (this may sound a bit weird, please don't take it the wrong way)...I reckon you'd be a great patient! Even when not firing on all cylinders I'd imagine the nurses etc like 'having you around' , especially as you improve.

Anyway, if that wasn't all way out of line, keep fighting the good fight!

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