Trying makes it worse

@EternalFlower What a lovey surprise mate, You sound so well. melting the ice trust barrier you

say. thats harder than the sound barrier.. And your coming out of hospital. Mate if was there, I would knock you up a camp oven cake.... That exciting.. Now , what have I been drinking, Shhhhh..

don't tell anyone, I have a bad reputation to uphold, but truth is. I have had a dry week. Just been too tired.. Looking for a ute for my cousin, fixing up my ute and all the other machinery get a going

over this time of year. Next summer I hope to be in my Cousins place on the coast and scale right back on the farm.

Change is never easy, I guess we have to condition our minds to look forward to change. I wonder If

the mind can be trained to get excited about things.. Have to ask apple that one day.

I get too excited about life and wear myself out.. Will you have lots of folks seeing you when you return to your home. I think Its so important when you first go home. And when you are on your own. All your friends here want to hear about your day.. I know Ive said this before, but I have to say it again. I'm very proud of you @EternalFlower ... And I admire the person that you are.

Even though you battle so hard with life, you always manage to maintain your kind and thoughtful

composure, a rare thing for people with M H challenges.. Your realy something else mate.

A good person, the real deal...

Well , I'm going to celebrate your good news, and pour myself a little shot..

O H .. dont forget the hot water bottles. one for the feet and a cuddler.. My rooms under the house, away from the fire. so couple of months and I will drag mine out... Its funny though.

Underground rooms actually don't get that cold.

Any way thankyou for writing me, and all my thoughts will be with you, And remember, Its no big

thing if you change your mind. Life is a fluid situation, Just swim with the flow and I will swim where ever you go..

Big hugs from tonys. moonbase 1

Trying is the sign that you are getting better. If you didn't try at all it would be much worse. You are brave for trying. The earliest stages are the hardest. I know when I started trying I felt like it was all just falling in a heap.

It does get better once you break through the barrier. It wont always be perfect but it does get so much better when you finally find the right team and it can be a process, noone can tell you how long that will be.

I have come from a troubled upbrining to find myself very disheartened in my search for help on so many occasions. There is a way out.

You are the master of your own life, noone else can tell you who you are. You are the one that ultimately decides who you want to help you. If you dont think someone is right, check with a trusted person in your life that your ideas are valid, I found validation from people I care about to be so helpful. When you are feeling out of sinc with the world it's good to get some grounding from thse that care most about you.

It's difficult to find good professionals at times, but they do exist and you will find the right ones for you, dont give up! You can do this 🙂

Solidarity with u @Jasmiran and sorry to re u also come from a troubled upbringing. I had no one to protect me from harm and so suffered abuse and neglect for many years.my family told me i was worthless and i believed it. I felt like i was damaged and not good inside.

I am happy with my dr, he is a lovely person, thankfully.

Hello @Sophia1 how are you travelling? How is your weekend...are you ok? I like when u and @tonys @LeChuck @Appleblossom @write on my thread to each other.this is who i am...i enjoy it and feel comforted by people who think i am nice and i feel the same...so dont worry i dont feel excluded, quite the opposite!!

I am sitting outside today with a coffee watching the world go by. I am happy to be home.

I dont have tons of visitors unfortunately @tonys but my friend came over thursday night and we went shopping for home things. I got:

New towels.

New oversized t shirts.

A tray for my coffee table.

Cooking utensils.

All from kmart @TAB i remember telling you it is my favouirte place.

@LeChuck

How are u doing? Thanks for checking in...i am out of hospital, i was begging to stay longer! My Dr was very firm with boundary that this would ultimately make my transition to home more painful and said i could stay just one day longer.

In the end i thought one day made no difference and left early. I am glad because i needed to leave.

I felt like the people there were triggering me a bit and i was not realy interested anymore in being there. Im wanderring if you relate or maybe you find u enjoy or benefit from longer stays? Everyone is different. I hope ur going ok ❤️

@EternalFlower there are so many experiences that I had on my journey that I would have preferred not to have, but in the end they made me who I am and I am happy with the person I have become.

There is a tonne of things that I should probably emit but the truth is that there are some horrible things that our recovery forces us to deal with. If we dont look at them and treat them they will fester like a wound and become necrotic and destroy us in the end. It's not fun and its not easy but flushing ot all the stuff that we dont want in our lives takes courage.

You have come this far and I believe you want to fight for your sanity. You have my support and I think your doctor sounds lovely and would back me up in that you have people that do care what happens to you and that no everyone is going to hurt you.

Winning . @EternalFlower yes kmart can be fun

Enjoy your coffee and goodies .

Lovely to hear you are home and happy to be home. @EternalFlower Great you could shop with a friend and perk up things on the home front. I love oversize Tshirts.

Having trust in your doctor makes a difference. Sounds like he works for it.

It is good for me to see you having friends on here. Funny how that can be enough ... just a little interacting, warmth and care. Sometimes the social life in hospital is just overwhelming.

Today I earned a free coffee on my member card ... I am learning the many values of being a 'member' in socialising. In the past it was not possible. This year I have joined up a few places in real life ... so that I can be distracted and not take anything that goes on too much to heart. I have terrible fears about social stuff. Lots of nightmares... but putting foot after foot on the ground and seemingly moving forward. Apart from that I was doing music and in the garden.

Hey @LeChuck affectionate ... strings of !#$%^& ... we can find work arounds ...

Great to see @tonys @Jasmiran @Sophia1 and all shooting the breeze ...

Shopping therapy. My lady. . . Its just fun to get out In the world of smells , colours and people.

I spend all day walking the windows and watching passing lives. A double scoop ice-cream, comic book, and a couple of conversations. Thats a good shopping day. Smile of the day, hot chips and a pickle.. hey @EternalFlower . And a new towel straight out of the tumble dryer. Now thats just

pure luxury.

So it does sound like you are fashioning a nice little nest, Yes I know it takes time and a bit of a plan but you take a step one day where suddenly its home. Its your little space. A cosey little nest in the tree canopy..

Your Dr sounds beaut, but then much of that is down to you too my friend. Receptive..

Tentative steps of raw courage . I'm with you all the way where ever and whenever you need me eternal..

Fish are slowing down now, but thats just the cycle of life. . . Fresh water muscles in abundance up here so when winter hits... Its . . . chowder time..

Well Eternal . thats news from the river . I'm going to veg out with a movie and some tucker

Happy trails my dear friend... @EternalFlower tonys moonbase 1

Hi @EternalFlower

Sorry I haven’t checked in with you for a couple of days. How are you going? Are you adjusting to being home ok?

Sounds like you are doing quite well.

Good for you.

Thinking of you

Meggle

Hi @Oaktree @tonys @Appleblossom @Sophia1 @LeChuck hhow did u find today, ? Are u busy on public holidays or a chance to rest?

I had a very rough day but im ok.

I am struggling to leave the house and do chores. It is hard sometimes on my own and i hope the ndis can provide more support than i currently have as i dont have any family, my mum never had much interest in me and would put me down and say i wasnt any good.