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Trying makes it worse

Trying makes it worse

Hi,

I'm EternalFlower and I've been feeling completely overwhelmed, sad, and pessimistic.

I've tried and been a responsible patient and person, reaching out to various services when I started feeling scarily anxious and suicidal, 2 years back..

My Dr is new, a young guy who regularly admits he's inexperienced, and aside from some good jokes, he actually does very little

I notice how easy it is to blame myself that I don't feel better, a total shame spiral, but I wander if my treatments just are bad....

I wanted to chat and hear anyone and hope I can use this space to help not feel so alone.

Thanks xxx EternalFlower

2606 replies

1,621 - 1,630 of 2,606

In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Oh @Sophia1

Do take care of yourself and take things very slowly and carefully. Everyone seems to be visiting hospital at the moment. I hope that you will be able to continue to cope outside that environment. However if you doo need to go in just know that we will be right here with you should you feel strong enough to converse.

Meggle

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hi @Sophia1 how are u....i did not know u were thinking (considering) to go to hospital? I feel very moved by ur descriptions with the rooms in the hospital....i can feel what u are saying. The people opening up is very beautiful and means they saw you as someone they liked to have around....testament to u....

I have just arrived home and am safe. A bit fragile and out of routines but i am ok. I feel strong. A bit better than when i left. I asked my neighbour to collect my nail and she is sweet, i told her i was in the hospital. It feels nice to tell some people.

I am watching a show on Netflix called Beef.

I remember the book you were reading Sophia, After You?

Are you still reading it or a new new one

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hi @EternalFlower

I am glad that you are safe and at home.

I hope that you will be kind to yourself and take things very slowly. It can take a while to get readjusted. Lucky for you that you have such a lovely neighbour.

Meggle

In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

I didn't know till I stubbed my toe on this kite that you were thinking of going to hospital ol mate

Am I ok to talk to you about that here... You Know tonys thinks the world of you @Sophia1

I hope you are ... well Ive always known you are just hanging on by threads... I know I can be a bit

of a "hard tree bark" fellow on the other threads but on this one, please know I'll come running if

you call mate....

Ok .. well I'll tiptoe back out. but you know theres mr softy tonys with open arms.... too.

Take care Sophia.. tonys moonbase 1

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

@EternalFlower @tonys @Oaktree @LeChuck

Hospital was recommended about three weeks ago. Have pulled myself up above water

walking again

laughing thanks to a special place that has a rock in it’s name. Very confused about it’s colour though .. Am so behind

@EternalFlower

we have a special invitation just for you when you have spent some recovering at home. Don’t come yet it will be too full on..

Your name is on a special invitation that we haven’t got around to doing yet.. who was meant to do that??

Eternal pleased to hear that you feel better now than when last at home. Great start for your recovery

I finished Before me and loved it. Started after you but so worn out from appointments and trying to keep up with Rock town have been reading less. Will get back into it hopefully tonight

Lovely neighbour.. good for you to have..

life is looking up for you Eternal and you are the one who has got yourself to here

You have come so far

@LeChuck is misbehaving but hopefully following in your footsteps

lovely hearing from you

write when you can

❤️

@tonys Fine by me writing to me here. Let’s check with Eternal though. Will it confuse or distress you Eternal?

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

@Sophia1 @tonys @LeChuck

You can feel free to use my other thread to check on each other if you like? It’s called My Place

Have fun

Meggle

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

OK @Sophia1 I'll just say. I'm almost certain its. . grey rock... and that sits well with me.

thinking of you... and Eternal flower... But I'll tiptoe out the back for now.. tonys..

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Thanks ol mate hard quiz on here so its a fast draw.. take care @Oaktree Talk soon tonys..

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hey @EternalFlower. just writing to check in on you, hope things are going well. Still here if you need

In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Thanks @tonys for checking in and thinking of me. I read the messages and am so uplifted.

Coming out of hospital has been good, ive settled back ok. I have still got support from my dr , he has asked me to identify some goals for my treatment. He loves making documents lol. I used to be so mistrustful but now the ice melts.

We are getting cold here in Melbourne, i am rugged up. I am grateful to have heating although my bedroom gets icy.

My dr said for me hospital is tolerable but not more...im not someone who enjoys parts of if. I think some people feel isolated and then hopsital has a social energy so they enjoy that community. But for me its not such a good community as u noted. It is complex. Sometimes people lash out and saw people get violent as well. Too risky. I keep to myself.

I hope u are well and warm by a fire. What are u drinking? Hope u are ok xx

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