Trying makes it worse

Still here @EternalFlower

You are so courageous.

I cannot tell you to stop feeling anxiety about your scars as I have not been through that.

My heart tells me that they represent your pain. Can you just yourself see them as your survival? That might not help. I only feel your strength in not giving up.

Perhaps seeing them reminds you of your pain and that is triggering anxiety.

Your doctor showing you his scars is brave of him in his position. He is making a brave statement to you. Telling you that he has his own pain and can empathise. He is supporting you not turning away. Do you feel safer with him?

You are getting through one day at a time.
what are you reading at the moment?

I am reading After You.

Hoping that you have some sleep and rest tonight

speak soon

❤️🧚‍♂️🌺

Don’t concern yourself about other patients that is the staff job.

Proud of you

Warm hug if you like hugs

Sophia1

Hello lovely @EternalFlower!

Dropping in to check up. So you're in hospital?

I agree that hospital friendships are very risky. I have some friends from long-term stays in hospital, but we have to be very, very, careful with each other when we're not well. Really strong boundaries, we don't seek MH support from each other because we all have too much on our plates already. When we need support we rely on other people/things that help us so we don't drag each other down or overwhelm each other. You have to have strong boundaries and an understanding from the get go, or else it's a complete disaster. Took us a while to get it right.

What's your hospital like? Do you know how long you'll be in?

Good vibes, LeChuck xx

Hi Darling @EternalFlower

Thinking of you and hope that you will be out of hospital soon.
I have sh scars on my arms too. Wish I had never done it or at least done it somewhere not obvious. Oh well, you live and learn. I have moved past that now. Haven’t done it in many years but I sometimes still get that urge.
Come look for us over on my thread.
We will welcome you with open arms.

All your friends are over there with me and we have a little imaginary town. It’s quite fun. Hoping to see you there really soon dear Eternal Flower 🌸

Kisses,

Meggle

Hi @Sophia1 how are you?

Your experience seeking help and finding the people were in different roles and maybe not even able to see or hear where you were at it, it must have been very disheartening and im sorry to hear that happened. Leaving is always a good choice too, i was really proud when i self discharged last time. I felt like it took blame from myself...

"Why cant i make this work, ive failed so badly at settling in and am not able to take care of myself and make this work..."

Became just..."this isnt for me now and I'm allowed to leave." And to see too that no one held it against me. Was big.

Hi @LeChuck friend... And dear person.

Hospital here is....well...the conditions are not excellent but there are some nice communal parts. The food is not terrible. There is a section for young people and its weirdly social.

The nurses are almost all good...i dont like one who has a mean school girl vibe but maybe she just triggers my being bullied in school for a few years at a private school.

Its very loud because people scream. I have a cubicle sort of. My dr is sort of a ledgebd of the hospital. Hes nice and not arrogant. He talks to me like im his equal.

I cant believe he showed me his scars!!

I am massaging dermaveen into my scars and the self care is nice.

I'm just a chook, flying in one window and straight out the other. no need to fix your hair. . . .

@EternalFlower

Just want to tell you, we miss you. I'm always thinking about you. we all luv you.

and maybe trying makes it better sometimes too. your friend tonys mb 1

A bit late to reply

@EternalFlower

No need tonight just when you can..

Knowing that you are ready to leave is a step forward.

You have worked hard throughout these stays and your words tell me that your doctor knows that. He is proud of you as well as feeling that he has helped..why he does his work as a Dr.. not easy in the public system for them either..

Rest whilst still there an initially when you return home..

Life is waiting for you

Your friends here are supporting you..

We hope to share time enjoying your company more once you return home and are rested

Take care lovely lady xx

I am so &$+#/;$* proud of you @EternalFlower, (I am struggling in the forums without my affectionate swearing! And proud probably comes off as patronising I don't mean it that way) you just keep getting stronger and stronger. I'm so glad your doctor is such a legend and you feel supported with him. Sounds like a keeper 😁

I'm with @tonys, I've learned to own my sh scars, they're battle scars from hardships I have endured and come through. I can very much understand anxiety about them though, I tried to hide mine for a long time. They might remind you of dark times now but when you're well you may learn to look at them with less anxiety. I do.

Things are starting to look up for me, might be home in a week or two!

LeChuck ❤️

Hi @EternalFlower

Thinking of you and wondering how you are doing? I hope that you are feeling stronger every day! Just take things slowly and carefully as @Sophia1 suggests.

I look at my SH scars and see someone who is strong and has survived a lot. SH scars just show that you have felt much pain in your life. Try not to be ashamed at that.

How are your artistic endeavours in hospital going? I do a lot of colouring in when I am in hospital. That may sound stupid and childish but it fills in the time.

I hope you are doing ok.

Meggle

Hello @EternalFlower

Thank you for the tag @Oaktree

My head is all over the place again.

As odd as it might sound...I lose people on the forums and then remember that I am supposed to have replied to them.

It is not that I forget about them at all.

I remember all of you.

I think my brain switches off from overload as a self protection.

I am supposed to be in hospital as advised by my specialist; a few weeks back. So that might help explain where I am at.

I still value the accepting time in hospital concept.

Just right now I know that it will not help me with everything else going on.

Enough Sophia!!!

Did I read that you might be coming out soon or was that @LeChuck..good news.

I hope Eternal, that you are still gaining from your strengthening bond with your doctor who has shared something very private with you to help you gain his trust.

He knows that you are worth that.

Have you been able to find anything interesting to do there yet?

I remember noticing people in art room with ear plugs in... I now realise that is a sign of do not disturb, for some; others do not want to talk; others need to zone out.

One female did talk to me though and opened up about schizophrenia and the ear plugs helped her with the voices. She would listen to music. She was so very brave and had her own business. I formed quite a connection with her and let her know how much she inspired me.

She shared some private desires which we quietly talked about and she thanked me. I just told her that I actually felt honoured that she could share with me.

That was a beautiful experience for me.

Other times I learnt which people to avoid.

We are all different aren't we.

I think that you have mastered that Eternal. It is not easy at first.

I did get to a stage where I needed to stay away from the art room as was told it was high stimulation and that was exacerbating my symptoms.

Wherever you are at. I wish you well. I look forward to ongoing news wherever you are.

Take care

💜