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Trying makes it worse

Trying makes it worse

Hi,

I'm EternalFlower and I've been feeling completely overwhelmed, sad, and pessimistic.

I've tried and been a responsible patient and person, reaching out to various services when I started feeling scarily anxious and suicidal, 2 years back..

My Dr is new, a young guy who regularly admits he's inexperienced, and aside from some good jokes, he actually does very little

I notice how easy it is to blame myself that I don't feel better, a total shame spiral, but I wander if my treatments just are bad....

I wanted to chat and hear anyone and hope I can use this space to help not feel so alone.

Thanks xxx EternalFlower

2606 replies

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In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hi @EternalFlower

I am glad to hear that you are able to stand up for yourself with your doctor. They are always intimidating. So sorry that you have found yourself in a dark place. The Easter break is a difficult time to be in hospital I am sure. Maybe tomorrow they will spoil you and give you a small Easter egg to cheer you up.
Don’t be hard on yourself for trying to help someone else. That was a nice thing to do. I am sorry that you got told off as I am sure that was very upsetting. I wish I could come visit you… I have always been lucky when in hospital, my husband visits every day. I know many are not so lucky. I hope things get better for you soon.

Meggle

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hi @Sophia1

I hope that my name is not triggering for you. I miss you and the fun we used to have. Maybe you should come by introduction and visit with @tonys @LeChuck and I. We have a saloon over there way out west somewhere. I am sorry things have been difficult for us in the past. I am a lot more well now. I myself was absent from the forums for a long time. I will tag you in introduction in case you feel like visiting.

Love you my old friend

Meggle

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Hi @Oaktree that is kind of u. I hage stopped socialising as much since that comment. I take his point that maybe i was teying to save people from the mh system...i realise no one here really does that for me. Ie i try help the patients sometimes but they seem fairly unwell and mostly dont remember me each time.

I think tomorrow maybe we will be given chocolates.

I hage been falling over myself kinda, trying to calm down but getting anxious. The staff over easter dont get me or spend that time. I relate very very much to ur comments @Sophia1

Hope ur ok @TAB sending care @tonys @LeChuck

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

All Good @EternalFlower 😀

In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

@EternalFlower . How are you mate. One place to another my friend and still the ghosts shadow you. I'm no good on the net, but I wonder if the are groups that volunteer and visit.

Must be very hard mate. Just watching a thing on current affair about a nature adventure, mob called, Human Nature, that take people out n about who are having mental health issues. Wish I was smarter and I'd think of something. For know , just know I think of you. tonys m b 1

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

@tonys it warms my heart a bit to read u say u wish u were more help when ur suggestions are so helpful. U are very intuitive and very right. You are smart and also great to talk to and listen with your heart, helping people through genuine curiosity and respect.

I am dramatic, packed up my bags to go lol "discharge against medical advice" etc. I have emptied the drawers and put my stuff in my bag.

They have had to call my dr who is literally on his once in a year two day vacation.

Tribes are forming in hospital its all very lord of the flies and i think i am next to be eaten...

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

You make me smile mate @EternalFlower . . I know it serious but I'm learning you are a more feisty lady than i gave you credit for. . . See, I get on my fat horse and coheres, beg ,

and bribe him to go anywhere. You my friend, just make up you mind, sink the spurs and

your outta there. . . ! Well looks like were going back to your joint again. . . all good.

I got a little picture of some hasty packing, and a dust devil out the door.

Yes I put a post up about 3 days ago trying to explain the lord of the flies world we live in to people. Pack mentality, and such. to a group discussion Tidis turning ran. No one really likes to hear what people can sink too. Wasted my time.

But Ive got confidence in you mate. You just need some friends, a group, and I don't mean

ones that suck your energy, and a bit of extra cash. We'll think on that.

Any way for me its a win. We get to cook at your joint again. Already did the fish cookup.

turned out stellar. I wash, you dry. . . .

Big hugs tonys moonbase 1

In response to: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

@Sophia1 Hey there Sophia, There is a vey rare bird in my garden. Rarely do I get a glimpse

Put out some bread with honey on it but Its like a bright blue flash in the corner of my eye.

Strangest thing. On sunny days you can hear it in full song. sweeter than lip gloss candy.

Dark fingers of cloud invade the skies, and its haunting cries find every corner of my

busy mind, . . . and still it. . . .

Rumour has It that it is called the. . . Sophia Bird. . . I'll keep mixing my bread, words

and poetry, as best I can , eyes to the skies, waiting for the song to herald in one more sunny day. . . My dearest friend. Do take good care please. . .

tonys moonbase 1

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

Happy Easter @EternalFlower

How did you go last night?

Did you discharge against medical advice?

I have done that before, not sure it’s ever a really great decision but I hope it works out for you!

Have a great day!

Meggle

In response to: Re: Trying makes it worse

Re: Trying makes it worse

@tonys

As you might have already discovered.

I have written you a whole book elsewhere.

This one deserves time, thought.

Beautiful

sophia1

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