Trying makes it worse

Sorry to hear that you are in hospital @EternalFlower

I hope it helps. I just learnt to play canasta. You play that with two decks and it can be played with either two or four players. It’s quite fun. I watched two videos on how to play on YouTube. What games have you been playing?

take care,

Meggle

Hey @EternalFlower, just a check in to see how you're travelling. How are you? And how are you going settling into hospital?

Sending good vibes,

LeChuck xx

Hello @EternalFlower

Thinking of you over this Easter break as I read that it is a particularly difficult time for you.

For me any public holidays that suggest family gatherings; love and support are triggering also.

I am learning to love myself and not measure myself with other "images, pictures of ideal family gatherings". They are in reality rare. There are some that have warmth and acceptance. Many have arguments and anxiety raising moments.

I hope that you can find parts of you that you can focus on. Parts where you have come a long way. Even reading back over where you have been and where you are now on this thread. I do not know you very well at all.

I do know that you are incredibly strong and have achieved much. With this comes relapsing and feeling as though nothing has been gained.

I am no expert only recounting my own life journey. Times in clinics, recovery once out in the real world which is so draining. Believing will never have to go back only to recognise yet again back in.

All part of recovery with health of our minds.

Even though it can feel like we have landed back at the beginning or before; we never do actually go backwards.

We just land in a different part of our journey. Each and every time that we land we are so much stronger for what we have experienced.

Sorry if too deep.

If you love nature I hope that you can walk and focus purely on nature. Smile at people, children, animals if you feel up to it; focus mainly on the nature.

It is the one thing that helps me get out of my head space. The ruminating will try to take over as it does. I just tell it to leave me alone quietly and focus back on what I see, hear, smell.

It is an escape of self and connection with what the world really is away from technology and all the heartache.

Not everyone can make this connection or wants to.

That is fine.

We are all different.

This is good also.

A humble offering as an option that is always available at no cost.

Whatever you choose to do, please remember that even when your friends do not reply, you are still their friend.

I have been absent as have been too unwell to even look at the website.

Today is my first day.

Sophia1

Hello @LeChuck

Your invitation was wonderful and much appreciated.

Thank you for such a beautiful way of expressing how you felt in reading my offering support.

That really does mean so much to me.

My not responding was not a sign of not valuing your offer to help. It was sadly as a result of my being very unwell.

I too was advised to go back into the clinic by my therapist but I felt that would be a waste of time as it had been the last time.

They are unable to support and respect people as individuals each with their own story and ongoing struggles.

I also got to a stage where I challenged my therapy continuing for the first time ever with my long term therapist.

Many sessions and repair work has remedied that.

If you are reading this @EternalFlower it is testament to my admiring your being assertive, open and honest with your doctor. The ones that truly listen and hear, change can happen. They can suddenly see from our perspective and help us move forward in a way that works for us as individuals.

I hope that makes sense.

You have been such a wonderful support for @EternalFlower, @LeChuck

I love every response that you have given her.

You are a very caring, empathic person and I can tell that you have depth.

I will also respond to your reply where you wrote to me on another thread.

Take care

Sophia1

@tonys

Your creative style that is who you are warms my heart every time I read your words to another.

The support you offer @EternalFlower is so very touching; warm and humourous.

What a package!

What a gift!

keep on being @tonys

Know that you could never upset me.

I move away when too unwell to protect myself as well as not write something to upset another.

Sophia1

hey hey hey.. she lives, How are you @Sophia1 periscope depth hey mate. watcha been up to. Pitch fork doing paper work I imagine. I'm livin, back on the horse now. hurts like hell but superglue on the saddle seems to work. Beats walking.

Thanks for your kind words sophia. I do hope you are finding a path to the township of

Seaches End. I know you are being coy regards your forum movements so i won't say to

much unless you say its a safe thread to talk freely I better trot. Big rain in the mountains.

Talk soon. Tonys moonbase 1

Hello @tonys

I kept my post brief as I wrote at great length on living with ourselves to you. That is my safe space thread.
I did tag you

I know that it is very confusing with threads and that you lead an extremely busy life. You also work hard on other threads connecting with others which is great.

when you have the time follow the breadcrumbs. I will await your response from there as am a tad confused here.

Sophia1

No pressure to reply @Sophia1, I am in much the same position as you, replying as I feel able to. Thank you for your lovely words, they meant a lot to me.

@EternalFlower how are you going?

LeChuck xx

Hey @LeChuck

Things started good but got a bit dark last night. Ther have been some rough incidents with residents, and i was told off for trying to help one of the residents in a snappy way by an art therapist or counsellor or someone idk.

She felt inwas butting in but i was just greeting the resident as i always do. i told her she had upset me and she said "well thats ur choice to be upset."

I told my dr abd he said thats not factually true, its not actually a choice to be upset lol. Its ur choice how u axt on a feeling, but feeling hurt isnt "my choice"

Since then ive struggled a bit with SH and they are a bit funny with me. My dr isnt coming til tuesday (last saw him thursday) which feels long for me. Its only oke day longer than usual but i feel sad. I feel like when i reaxh out they roll their eyes and dont really wanna help.

Ive layered up the waffle blankets and thought of u my friend immediately. They are really good! In sorry u didnt have them. Somehow thiught the sheets seem crusty rhe waffle blankets aee fresh..

Some people take heaps and pile them up as it gets cold. I could probably go one more lol. I have two.

@tonys i would feel better if people visited me but my friends dont. My friends all have small children. And my family are bad news. Its sad as there are some possibilities to have visitors atm.

Hi @Sophia1 i have always been told i wasnt worth much and feel bad overburdening and ur reassurance is very caring, encouraging me to open up and know im safe. You are a very beautiful person.

I relate as had a huge session with my Dr on Thursday, i said things aloud dont know i could say to someone called him vague and challenged him on his notion of what we were doing together

He said i was getting better because even though im scared to challenge him, i do so, and also i can articulate myself....the feelings aren't so big that i cant name them. I engage with, name and know how i feel.

Unfortunately that was a very triggering session though. I hipe u were ok post rupture in ur session. It does need repairing. Where did you find your courage to speak, perhaps something has changed or u know urself well. You sound truthful and like u have had a journey but u have really learnt through it.

Im sorry i havent replied... i have not been so well here