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Something’s not right

On the edge

On the edge

I'm having a very hard time right now. I'll try and keep this short, but it will probably get long. Sorry.

A few months ago I was diagnosed with autism at 55 years of age. Up until that point I didn't even really know anything at all about autism. If I had known the slightest thing it would have been glaringly obvious that I'm autistic and my entire life would have made a great deal more sense.

I got the NDIS. Finally felt like I would get the support and help I have needed my entire messed up life. But after just one meeting with my support co-ordinator, everything shut down for xmas and I have been feeling incredibly alone ever since.

My husband is American and his mum is in the hospital over there and going into a nursing home upon her release. He is going over there for a month to get her affairs in order and visit with family. I stopped going with him on these trips years ago due to the stress it put on me (not understanding I was autistic and just thinking I was overly sensitive and 'precious'). Now I can't really go cause I have animals to look after here.

I have no friends. My parents are gone. My 2 kids live in QLD (I'm in Vic). I haven't seen my new grand-daughter at all since she was born and haven't seen my 2 year old grandson since he was born right before covid hit. I am in introvert and gave up on friends a few years ago after too many painful experiences. This doesn't really bother me when I have my hubby around and my best friends all have feather, fur and wool. But it became very apparent to me when I was doing my NDIS application just how dependant on hubby I am.

He told me maybe a month ago that he was going to the US in March and I was not happy about it, but OK with it. He usually goes for 2-3 weeks. I hate it when he is gone. It is really tough but I get through. This time I had spoken to my support co-ordinator about putting supports in place for his absence and I assumed I would have time to have some sessions with my pysch before he left, just to get my head on straight.
But then his mum got sick, and now the trip has been bought forward to this month and he will be gone for an entire month. I'm freaked out.

I will have no time to have counselling before he goes. I don't want a support worker right now cause of Omicron. As it was I live in a small rural town and would have to drive 45 minutes to go see a support worker, which I already wasn't thrilled about. I'm alone. I'm completely isolated. I'm scared.

I contacted Amaze via email and they sent me some resources around suicide prevention. I am honestly scared of what I might do alone for that long. I'm scared I might get covid and then there will be no one to take care of the animals. So I plan to stay away from people and shops and everything to protect myself.

I understand why my husband has to go take care of his mum. I'm just really worried about him going to the US right now with all that is going on there. I'm afraid to be alone for a whole month. I tried talking to Suicide Call Back via chat but no one was there. Due to my autism I don't do phone calls or skype or zoom or any of that stuff. Lifeline is also not great for that same reason. I just feel really let down and abandoned, which is not good for someone who is adopted and already has massive abandonment issues. I know people have to have a xmas break, but why now!! Why did this all have to happen now.

76 replies

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In response to: On the edge

Re: On the edge

Awww @Molly22 That is sweet When you are a bit more comfortable here I will introduce you to some other wonderful people on other threads - don't want to overload you right now but I think there is some others here you would get on well with. We really are a great community I have a strong feeling you are going to fit in very well here Hon - and that is wonderful for both you and us

In response to: On the edge

Re: On the edge

Is there some past trauma @Molly22 ?

Just some of the things you are saying have triggered my interest, such as naming your house sanctuary, it being a safe place and also the fact you mentioned that you would rather sit and suffer before asking for help, but if the animals needed help, you would go and get them help.

When i was reading what you were saying i was thinking you might be old enought to enoy this as well..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIOijJfrHas

In response to: Re: On the edge

Re: On the edge

@AussieRecharger Ah yes ELO. Loved them back in the day.

And yes to the trauma. I have long long loooooong history of trauma. Just having an undiagnosed disability for over half a century pretty much guarentees trauma. But there are other things to. My brother was physically and mentally abusive my entire childhood and most of my adulthood. My husband had an affair 4 years ago, ran off and left me for a woman literally half his age. Being adopted abandonment is a key issue for me, and I still feel I have some PTSD left over from that experience. Plus the CPTSD from a less than ideal childhood.

In response to: On the edge

Re: On the edge

@Molly22 I'm so glad you're settling into the forums. I love the eagle... such a majestic bird. Bunjil to Victorian First Nations, the creator spirit.

Over the next month or two are you planning your new garden ready for the Autumn planting season?

I hope your dingo cross enjoys the change of pace while your husband is away... perhaps walks in the middle of the day to fit in with your needs. I never realised sheep had so much character. And I agree cats can be excellent company. Mine is more demanding since the older one passed.

We all face different challenges and many here have experienced trauma. Sometimes just knowing someone cares is enough.

I hope you enjoy your evening.

Dimity

In response to: Re: On the edge

Re: On the edge

@Dimity Knowing someone cares helps SO much more than could know.

BTW... I got a message from my psych yesterday, she has made an appointment for me today. I honestly wasn't expecting to hear from her this early in the year so that is a relief. Will see what happens.

In response to: Re: On the edge

Re: On the edge

@Molly22 Good luck today.

Here if you need us.

In response to: Re: On the edge

Re: On the edge

@AussieRecharger Thanks for that. Hubby is trying to bring his flight forward as I type. His mum has taken a turn for the worse and he is trying to get over there as soon as possible. I'm just trying hard not to freak out. Thank god I'm seeing my psych in this morning.

In response to: Re: On the edge

Re: On the edge

Hey @Molly22 I hope today goes okay for you - let us know how you are later Hon

In response to: Re: On the edge

Re: On the edge

Hi @Molly22! I hope you're all right! I just read the latest messages, I'll be around all day if you want to chitchat. It's sad to hear of your husband's mother's deterioration. Please try not to panic too much ok? We won't leave you alone with this situation, even though you'll be physically lonely without your husband... We will be here to support you!

In response to: Re: On the edge

Re: On the edge

@Former-Member @Zoe7 Thank you so much. I just got back from seeing my psych. It helped. Not that she really gave me much in the way of strategies to cope but just having a sympathetic ear helped I suppose. She said she was only a phone call away if I needed it when hubby is gone.

He is on the computer now rescheduling everything to leave sooner. In a way it might be better if leaves sooner as it is less time waiting around catastrophising the worse case scenario's.

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