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On the edge

On the edge

I'm having a very hard time right now. I'll try and keep this short, but it will probably get long. Sorry.

A few months ago I was diagnosed with autism at 55 years of age. Up until that point I didn't even really know anything at all about autism. If I had known the slightest thing it would have been glaringly obvious that I'm autistic and my entire life would have made a great deal more sense.

I got the NDIS. Finally felt like I would get the support and help I have needed my entire messed up life. But after just one meeting with my support co-ordinator, everything shut down for xmas and I have been feeling incredibly alone ever since.

My husband is American and his mum is in the hospital over there and going into a nursing home upon her release. He is going over there for a month to get her affairs in order and visit with family. I stopped going with him on these trips years ago due to the stress it put on me (not understanding I was autistic and just thinking I was overly sensitive and 'precious'). Now I can't really go cause I have animals to look after here.

I have no friends. My parents are gone. My 2 kids live in QLD (I'm in Vic). I haven't seen my new grand-daughter at all since she was born and haven't seen my 2 year old grandson since he was born right before covid hit. I am in introvert and gave up on friends a few years ago after too many painful experiences. This doesn't really bother me when I have my hubby around and my best friends all have feather, fur and wool. But it became very apparent to me when I was doing my NDIS application just how dependant on hubby I am.

He told me maybe a month ago that he was going to the US in March and I was not happy about it, but OK with it. He usually goes for 2-3 weeks. I hate it when he is gone. It is really tough but I get through. This time I had spoken to my support co-ordinator about putting supports in place for his absence and I assumed I would have time to have some sessions with my pysch before he left, just to get my head on straight.
But then his mum got sick, and now the trip has been bought forward to this month and he will be gone for an entire month. I'm freaked out.

I will have no time to have counselling before he goes. I don't want a support worker right now cause of Omicron. As it was I live in a small rural town and would have to drive 45 minutes to go see a support worker, which I already wasn't thrilled about. I'm alone. I'm completely isolated. I'm scared.

I contacted Amaze via email and they sent me some resources around suicide prevention. I am honestly scared of what I might do alone for that long. I'm scared I might get covid and then there will be no one to take care of the animals. So I plan to stay away from people and shops and everything to protect myself.

I understand why my husband has to go take care of his mum. I'm just really worried about him going to the US right now with all that is going on there. I'm afraid to be alone for a whole month. I tried talking to Suicide Call Back via chat but no one was there. Due to my autism I don't do phone calls or skype or zoom or any of that stuff. Lifeline is also not great for that same reason. I just feel really let down and abandoned, which is not good for someone who is adopted and already has massive abandonment issues. I know people have to have a xmas break, but why now!! Why did this all have to happen now.

76 replies

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In response to: On the edge

Re: On the edge

I am glad you psych helped a little @Molly22 Sometimes we just need that person there to listen 👍

I agree - having less time to think about things is often a good thing but so sorry your hubby's Mum is not good. Your psych has given you the option to call so do so if you need whilst hubby is away. I had a great psych who was the same and it helped a lot just knowing I had that option even if I didn't use it often.

In response to: Re: On the edge

Re: On the edge

Some psychs are excellent hey @Molly22 and @Zoe7! I hope my new psychologist will be more supportive, I need a big safety support network at the moment because when I struggle to cope, my mental state deteriorates and I lose my temper really badly and when I'm unwell enough, it takes me almost three days to feel better, then after that several days to recover from exhaustion resulting from the mental breakdown.

In response to: Re: On the edge

Re: On the edge

Hey @Molly22! Just wondering how you are? I'm still awake, chitchatting away across the forum threads. I tend to be more social and chatty around people as I settle into the community be it on here or in real life, and as I get to know them more. I'm a bit of a mixed bag of social and shy: shy when I'm untrusting and don't know anybody. More social when I meet and interact with the same people on a daily or weekly basis. I slowly get more trusting and more friendly.Anyway, I hope you're all right!

In response to: Re: On the edge

Re: On the edge

@Former-Member @Zoe7 Thanks guys for the lovely messages yesterday. Always nice to wake up to notifications that someone cares.

Due to my chronic pain and physical limitations I'm in bed frighteningly early. WAY before dark. But also up earlier than most. I have this cut-off window of opportunity to speak to people, usually no later than 5pm. Now I understand my autism it's probably more to do with that. I shut down mentally after around 4-5pm. But I'm sure this will not be the case when hubby is gone as I will be all alone.

I totally understand @Former-Member about being shy at first. I'm pretty not shy online but in person it can take me awhile to trust. Actually if I'm honest, I never totally trust. Been broken too many times by too many people. And I'm very much an introvert so in person I can really only hold a conversation with one person at a time. That's also very much an autism thing. I'm pretty good one on one but as soon as you add a third person I get all confused and never know when it's my turn to talk.

So hubby leaves next week. I'm feeling a mix of kinda OK and accepting, and still sorta hoping his flight gets cancelled cause of covid. I know that's selfish but I can't help it. I know I have some supports in place now, which helps. Just this gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach that most likely won't ever go away until hubby is back home safe again.

In response to: Re: On the edge

Re: On the edge

Morning @Molly22 , @Former-Member , @Zoe7 , @AussieRecharger , @Dimity

What a crazy few days here for me

@Molly22 , usually do time lapses of clouds over the hills , winter clouds with their awesome shapes

In response to: Re: On the edge

Re: On the edge

@Shaz51 That sounds super cool. Do you upload them online anywhere. Would love to see. Here's a pic of my neighbours horses at her dam which I have a lovely view of from my place.

In response to: Re: On the edge

Re: On the edge

Ohhh what beautiful horses @Molly22 , and a beautiful photo 🥰

In response to: Re: On the edge

Re: On the edge

@Molly22 That is the most gorgeous photo of horses I have ever seen Hon - you are exceptionally talented @Shaz51 reminds me of your photos and capturing the true essence of the subject ...two very talented photographers we have here with both of you

@Molly22 Of course you are going to be worried and stressed when hubby is away but we got you - tag me anytime Hon and as soon as I am able I will reply I do tend to be here more at night but look in when I have breaks during the day at the moment. I still have 4 weeks of holidays so it will co-incide with your hubby being away 👍

In response to: Re: On the edge

Re: On the edge

What a stunning shot @Molly22, a wonderful composition. Did you have to get in the water to take it?

In response to: Re: On the edge

Re: On the edge

@Former-Member No I didn't have to stand in the water, thank god for that. I have a long telephoto lens I use for my birding and I just kneeled down by the edge of the water and zoomed in. It was actually a 60th birthday present for my neighbour. I had it printed on canvas for her. She loved it.

@Zoe7 Thanks new friend. I might need some support. Not sure I mentioned my pet sheep I have been looking after since she was attacked by a dog but she took a turn for the worse a few weeks back and nothing seems to be helping her. We have been giving her daily injections to fight infection but it's no longer working. We are now looking at possible amputation of her back leg. I'm just gutted.

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