FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

On the edge

On the edge

I'm having a very hard time right now. I'll try and keep this short, but it will probably get long. Sorry.

A few months ago I was diagnosed with autism at 55 years of age. Up until that point I didn't even really know anything at all about autism. If I had known the slightest thing it would have been glaringly obvious that I'm autistic and my entire life would have made a great deal more sense.

I got the NDIS. Finally felt like I would get the support and help I have needed my entire messed up life. But after just one meeting with my support co-ordinator, everything shut down for xmas and I have been feeling incredibly alone ever since.

My husband is American and his mum is in the hospital over there and going into a nursing home upon her release. He is going over there for a month to get her affairs in order and visit with family. I stopped going with him on these trips years ago due to the stress it put on me (not understanding I was autistic and just thinking I was overly sensitive and 'precious'). Now I can't really go cause I have animals to look after here.

I have no friends. My parents are gone. My 2 kids live in QLD (I'm in Vic). I haven't seen my new grand-daughter at all since she was born and haven't seen my 2 year old grandson since he was born right before covid hit. I am in introvert and gave up on friends a few years ago after too many painful experiences. This doesn't really bother me when I have my hubby around and my best friends all have feather, fur and wool. But it became very apparent to me when I was doing my NDIS application just how dependant on hubby I am.

He told me maybe a month ago that he was going to the US in March and I was not happy about it, but OK with it. He usually goes for 2-3 weeks. I hate it when he is gone. It is really tough but I get through. This time I had spoken to my support co-ordinator about putting supports in place for his absence and I assumed I would have time to have some sessions with my pysch before he left, just to get my head on straight.
But then his mum got sick, and now the trip has been bought forward to this month and he will be gone for an entire month. I'm freaked out.

I will have no time to have counselling before he goes. I don't want a support worker right now cause of Omicron. As it was I live in a small rural town and would have to drive 45 minutes to go see a support worker, which I already wasn't thrilled about. I'm alone. I'm completely isolated. I'm scared.

I contacted Amaze via email and they sent me some resources around suicide prevention. I am honestly scared of what I might do alone for that long. I'm scared I might get covid and then there will be no one to take care of the animals. So I plan to stay away from people and shops and everything to protect myself.

I understand why my husband has to go take care of his mum. I'm just really worried about him going to the US right now with all that is going on there. I'm afraid to be alone for a whole month. I tried talking to Suicide Call Back via chat but no one was there. Due to my autism I don't do phone calls or skype or zoom or any of that stuff. Lifeline is also not great for that same reason. I just feel really let down and abandoned, which is not good for someone who is adopted and already has massive abandonment issues. I know people have to have a xmas break, but why now!! Why did this all have to happen now.

76 replies

71 - 76 of 76
1...78

In response to: On the edge

Re: On the edge

@Zoe7 @AussieRecharger @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Dimity and others.......

Sorry I have been so quiet lately. I have been really struggling and just shut down. It's an ASD thing. When things get really bad, I get really quiet. Just can't deal with anything or anyone else. I call it 'turtling'... hiding in my shell until it feels safe to come out.

It's been two weeks since hubby left for the US. He has cut his trip short by a week and so that means I still have one more week to go. 😩

It's been hard.

Not sleeping. Having to take care of the animals (and myself) all by myself. Not that I mind being by myself. That part has been incredible. Just so tired. Worrying about my sheep. The earliest they can do the surgery is Feb8 and each day that passes the chance of saving her leg gets less and less. And I'm just helplessly looking on. Can't do a damn thing. It's breaking my heart, not to mention my spirit.

I have managed to alienate the only 'in real life' friend I have. My next door neighbour. She thought she was helping me by phoning me constantly and giving me little tasks to do, favours I guess. But I have such a limited amount of daily energy available to me even during the best of times, so it just wore me down, emotionally, physically, you name it. So I blew up at her and now she isn't talking to me. Which is kinda nice in it's own way, but now I'm wracked with guilt and just feeling terrible.

Anyway.... also feeling guilty each time another email arrives telling me that one of you lovely people has mentioned me in a comment, and then me not being able to respond. It's not that I don't think of you all often. I'm just barely keeping my own head above water right now. So again, sorry. 🙏

In response to: Re: On the edge

Re: On the edge

Hi @Molly22
It’s nice to hear from you & it sounds like taking care of yourself and what you have on your plate right now is a priority.

The image you described of ‘turtling’ 🐢 really felt like something I could relate to.

I think I can say that most of us will understand when people need time away from engaging in discussions here.

I can hear how hard it’s been. I hope that you are able to find a tiny bit of space amongst all the responsibilities to do or enjoy something for yourself. 💛

In response to: Re: On the edge

Re: On the edge

@Molly22 We used to have a member here I called 'Little Turtle' - she also had autism and would do exactly the same thing. Her go to was a giant turtle and a weighted blanket that she would hide away in - so I am not at all surprised you described similar. Having also taught many children n the spectrum and with various disabilities, I know all too well how hiding away is a comfort and safety thing - so do what you need Hon ...we will always be here when you can be and for all the other times - do not stress at all if you cannot reply to anyone ...your friends here understand - it is not personal, it is simply what you need to do to get through the day.

I have been thinking a lot about Daisy but did not want to ask - that is so hard for you to have to wait for. I can only continue to hope for you and her that they can save her leg and she will pull through okay. Our babies are our world and to not be able to do anything more than you already are is heartbreaking ...hugs to you both 💖

In response to: Re: On the edge

Re: On the edge

Hey @Molly22,

Still here and listening... BTW if you want to repair that relationship with your neighbour, I would acknowledge it with a thank you and you understand what she was trying to do but a better way for you to help me would be blah... I am sure you can work out a system that works and may even be a fun way of a wink and a nod to know you are both doing okay, or that you need someone to bring around a cuppa and to sit in silence with you and watch the sun go down (or a baseball bat and a pinata, whatever floats your boat).

Don't be in a rush to respond.. we know your busy, both physically and mentally at this time.. but we know you are worth the wait as well.

In response to: Re: On the edge

Re: On the edge

Morning @Molly22,

We're all here when you have the space, there is never any rush to respond. Please take care of yourself. Sending big 💜 to your sheep.

Rhye ☘️

In response to: Re: On the edge

Re: On the edge

Hello and hugs my @Molly22 ❤❤❤

71 - 76 of 76
1...78