My daughter attempted suicide

You are a treasure @Former-Member. Thank you so much - this has really helped. Warm hugs xx

Hi @Former-Member

I truly feel for you and your husband, he must be shattered too. I am worried too about your daughter and how fragile she must be. But you need to look after yourself too and perhaps access some face to face help for you too.

I wish I could do more to help you.

I still think the hospital is worthwhile if you can get her there, she may not listen to her mum and dad but she may listen to someone outside the family. Or perhaps if you are really struggling it may be of help to you too. Its just a thought and just trying to think of ways that may work. I know they have some tough cases their and many people go there as a last resort. You could ring up and talk to the assessment person or ask to speak to the program manager. I don't mean to step on your toes @Former-Member I think with the right person & treatment, she may recovery.

Do you know a way to reach her and that way have some leverage over him, and to persuade her to leave him.Is something she always wanted to do with her life etc How old is your daughter?

Btw no need to apologise for your state of mind and grief you are experiencing. You are amazing person and I know how much you love her and your husband. I'm here if you ever need to talk and I will get back to you ASAP.

Hi @Former-Member, I've been thinking of you. Because I'm a ’fixer' I've been racking my brain to try to find possibly solutions. I guess there are none that would work because you would have been told them by now. I also get that the fear of abandonment with your daughter is huge even if she is the one doing the abandonment. I've been there before as well. That need to be loved by a partner is as strong as the tide. My hope would be that through therapy she will be able to find more of an identity for herself and thus self esteem to be able to make better relationship choices. I have a few ideas that I might consider trying and I'm just throwing them out there, these are not based on any therapy just life experiences. I would be weaving subtly into conversations what love and respect are. I would tell stories of the good and bad of your relationship with your husband to make relationships as real as possible but also the really defining things like trust and respect and living for yourself and your partner, that balance between having your own identity and sharing your life with someone. I would be looking for stories of people with BPD that show success and failure in relationships to share with her, she may not be interested yet in listening to these but it may be a way for her of reality checking when she is able to. Lastly my therapist uses a technique with me she calls the broken record technique commonly known as nagging but it's surprising that it sometimes works, sometimes the penny drops. One of the things she has woven in cleverly is that I deserve more from my relationships and so she goes over and over powerful messages and sneaks them in when she can and I think it helps. I was told years ago by my sons teachers that reinforcing your values over and over again will eventually sink in with them, surprisingly more gets in than you think. I know you have an uphill battle and I feel so terribly deeply for your situation but more importantly for you, your husband and your daughter. I am crossing fingers she has your strength and can survive to find a life worth living on her terms. Sending you my best wishes, hugs 💐💜

heheehe @Former-Member had a bit of a giggle at the "broken record technique" I love it! I might adopt the term myself hahaha.

Aside from the humour- I think what you say about values is so true. Great advice

Hello @pip@Former-Member@Former-Member

Thankyou all for your posts and I do apologise for the late reply. I have been really struggling and am currently finding it difficult to keep up with everything.

My daughter is still in a very bad place. She is currently mixing alcohol with her meds. I won't allow her to bring alcohol in the home now for this reason, for her sake and she is ready to tip over. She has been ignoring the mental health team and they now want to close her file and drop her. So it's all on myself and husband now. The strain is overwhelming.

@Former-Member - I did try and explain values to her. She gets angry and tells me to leave her alone. And @pip, she is stubborn. She is very immature. She needs to be supervised in hospital as she is a loose canon and this is beyond us. We have, are doing our best but she isn't responding. She is self destructing. It's so depressing to watch. It's so hard and I have to fight feelings of helplessness all the time now. As I am at risk of being depressed. I have to find a better place but in these circumstances how?

She has taken all her meds and can't get another script until Monday. She is now taking out her withdrawal on us demanding we "get her sedatives". She is just abusing them and whilst drinking so heavily shouldn't be on anything as it will just damage her and not work. It's a real mess and I am feeling really low presently. Thank you for being there. Sending warm hugs xxx

I truly feel for you @Former-Member . I understand now why you think she needs to take the first step and it must so frigenting and overwhelming to see her like this. I have been thinking of you and wondering how your daughter was going.

I will always be here for you @Former-Member. I wish I could do more to help you.

@Former-Member,

I feel for your situation as it must be so ditressing. Thank God your daughter still lives at your house. I believe she must instictively know that this is the right place for her and that her parents love her.

The fact that she still sees the sociopathic boyfriend is in some ways not surprising.... she imagines herself to be in love.

I was myself in a relationship with a man who had sociopathic traits - they can be very charming. The are manipulative and cunning. I actually always saw through my ex-partner's manipulation so I have no idea why I stayed with him... low self-esteem, like your daughter, I guess.

But I survived and lived to tell the tale. There is hope that your daughter will do the same. She has come this far by the grace of God.

I think getting private health insurance for your daughter is a good idea. Encourage her to see a psychologist as an 'out patient'. Tell her it would be good to talk to someone about the issues she has with her boyfriend. Try to frame seeing a psychologist in terms she can relate to. Her relationship with this man seems all-important to her, so tell her psychology will help her to sort out what is going on between the two of them. (abuse, unfortunately)

You say he is not physically abusive and so has not broken any law? Is there any way you can get him charged with anything? Like, does he use drugs, for instance? You might have to gain your daughter's confidence to get her to tell you more about him. If you can cause plenty of trouble for him then he might choose to stay away from your daughter.

Look after yourself, @Former-Member. You are such a good Mum.

Hi @Former-Member ..... 💜🌷

Just saw this post this morning ..... I can't think of more to add to the caring responses and heart-felt compassion you have been receiving from others here, so I just wanted to add my best wishes for all of you .... hang in there .... we're walking with you and hoping things come through in the best way possible .... hold tight to your courage and keep going ....

💜💐🌷💜💐🌷💜