My daughter attempted suicide

Hello @Appleblossom

Thank you for your feedback on how I am conversing with my daughter right now. I needed to hear that - I just hope one day the penny drops.

Something you said earlier in this thread I found really hit the nail on the head - of how bewildering it is that such bad behaviour on the boyfriends part can be so socially acceptable. Those who are close to her, and her treating professionals, are the only ones who express that it's abuse. I am pleased for campaigns such as "respect" as it brings boundaries back to society of what is not acceptable highlighting the damage it does. Long overdue.

Relationships and society as a whole is different today - much harder I feel. There seems to be so much lack of respect for each other today and heightened MI/suicide statistics trend up with it.

WIth my daughters personality disorder they said she has a heightened sensitivity to pain, impulsiveness and a low self image. So when she is hurt the emotional pain becomes overwhelming. If she doesn't learn to protect herself from abuse the writing is on the wall. I just can't resign to this - it just can't happen. She will take all my love with her.

I can't understand why her parents unconditional love and support was just not enough.

Hello dear @pip

Yes, my daughter does know that I am a survivor of childhood abuse. She knows some of it - I spared her the rest. I was physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually abused. I have only some recall of these events (enough though unfortunately). It was explained to me that this was a defence mechanism in my mind to protect my sanity. I did go off the rails myself when very young as a result but never acted as she did, and overcame most of my issues by 30. I did have a relapse at midlife (menopause, some repressed memories came flooding back and grief from loss); which she saw me rise above stronger than ever.

That was a really good suggestion you made that I am going to put to my daughter; "does she know the difference of the love that her parents share opposed to what her and bf have". I will pick the right time (as she can become angry sometimes if I point the truth out), and will let you know what she saids or doesn't say.

She does try and protect boyfriend - but she is running out of excuses for him I have noticed. I agree tough love is needed - I just hope eventually I can get through. I also have to protect my husband from the stress. Hope I can continue to be strong. I will let you know how it goes - it may take a few days but I will definitely get back to you. Thank you for caring. Warm hugs xxxx

Hi @Former-Member

Just wanted to say hello and to see how you are going?

There is a treatment facility in Sydney and they do group therapy etc "treatment facility SPP". Its on the Northern Beaches Curl Curl.

I think private health insurance takes about two months before she could get inpatient care.

I would start by phoning them you could phone them tomorrow and then get your daughter some private insurance and then come up with a plan until she can access specialized inpatient care.

Hope this helps I have been thinking of you and your daughter

Thank you for thinking of me and my daughter dear @Former-Member, @utopia, @Former-Member.My heart is very heavy and my health is declining under the strain. I went to see my good friends (husband and wife) today - they are like family to me and this helped. We also have had a lot of compassion/offers of help from fellow workers at the charity shop. But no one comes around as they don't know what to say as the situation is so tragic. But to know they care, that you and others on here do and are thinking of us soothes this unbearable pain.

Daughter has returned back to who pushed her overtheedge - the narcissistic/sociopathic boyfriend. We have been advised that he is with her because "he gets a kick out of controlling her". Knowing she could attempt to end her life as a result. He should be behind bars but he is not breaking any law of the land. Just moral ones. We are dealing with such evil here. If I survive this - I can survive anything. I want to survive it, I want to be strong and function but this is beyond cruel. I told my friends who,wish me future happiness that this will never happen - best I can wish for is to function and to have something that resembles a life. My wish is for my daughter to be happy but the likelihood is she will suicide. Sorry but my grief presently is overwhelming. Life is so precious yet she wants to throw it away and the lives of those who love her. And the clouds looms overhead....one day at a time.

@utopia - your friend was so lucky to have you. What a rock, a treasure you are. My daughter is a very unwell person - I can only hope she survives to be strong enough to move away from him. Or finds the inner self discipline to stay alive amidst her pain (self discipline is vital for her survival and she has none). The odds are stacked agai st us, that's the reality (which I detest at the moment), but I haven't given up yet. I have to wonder sometimes if my daughter really loves us - she knows she is putting us through hell. Can't help but wonder.....

@Former-Member - thank you for the info re the movies. I will ask my husband to download them. Thank you for thinking of us - I can see you relate to our pain (I am sorry this is the case but you are remarkable in how you coped and this helps me).

@Former-Member - Thankyou for the info regarding the hospital which is possible for my daughter to attend. But in all honesty I don't think any therapy will help her as she runs back to the abuse that is causing her to despair. That's the madness - my daughter has to help herself and take that first step and break away. My grief is great but you ease it - your sweet loving nature. I wish I had a child like you. Please excuse my grief and state of mind. I am doing my best hoping it will be enough. I am shattered. Much love xxxxx

@Former-Member I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter returning to that hateful man. You must be beside yourself trying to come to terms with this.

Is there anything we can do to help support you at the moment? Sending virtual hugs.

Hello dear @Former-Member

You have just helped me by being there. Thank you so much. Just knowing I am not alone in this nightmare.

My mind is in turmoil with this situation because I feel powerless to do anything. I am a strong person but this is one of the most difficult situations I have ever had to face. My mind is having difficulty coming to terms with the reality. My grief is severe but so far I am still functioning. Barely.

It helps to know you are there. If I decline any further I will tag you and/or contact SANE and seek possible resources that may be able to help in this situation. I can't let myself go down as I have a husband with ill health to care for also. Thank you for your support.

@Former-Member I get what you're saying.. But let's also acknowledge- it's so hard being the strong one all the time. So hard. I'm really glad to hear that you're still functioning to the best of your ability. You are truly an inspiration to all of us I hope you're also getting some face to face support though, as well as virtual?

Yes, please tag me if you want to talk! But also know that I'm not moderating that often (you can probably tell from my week between comments!) so if you need a response from a moderator right away you can always email us directly here: team@saneforums.org or say in a post that you need a response from the moderator. As you said, resources or just some moral support. Whatever you need!

Whenever I'm back online I will endeavor to reply right away though Thinking of you.