Life after hospital

@utopia @Decadian @pip@Former-Member@Former-Member

So I had a converwsation with my husband before about selling our house. I have been thinking the same thing that he was but we never spoke about it.

I now want to wait another 2 years, only reason is that if we buy now we still have to buy 4 bedroom home which won't reduce our loan by much. But if we can wait another 1 1/2 - 2 yrs we can then buy a 3 bed home or 3 bedroom townhouse and pay of quite a lot off our mortgage. Also we have to take into account if we sell now and buy we have to include stamp duty and then again in a few years time whenn we would down size again. So we may as well wait and buy only once and not twice.

It was interesting our my hubby had similar thought to me but didn't tell me. he said we will still do things around the house but slowly and we will watch what we spend our money on. I also suggested to him that we see a financial counsellor or advisor. Might try the community centre I went to yesterday.

For now I told him i am still only going to work 3 days and he said he may ask his boss for overtime on the weekends if possible. Also when i saw my GP this arvo he also said he doens't think i am in the right mind at the moment to start selling and packing etc. it will send me backwards.

I know our lives will change again in 2 yrs time, so maybe we shouldn't rush into this. we need to stop and think about what we will do.

For now, i will ring the utility copanies next week and see if we can reduce our direct payments. And we will ask our children to help us out by paying a little each week. Even though they all don't work full time i am sure they will help us out. They already do as they buy meat or chicken and put that towards dinner at least twice a week.

Also the area we are living in the prices will always go up. We are in a high demand area.

I can't believe @utopia how well our conversation went.

This sounds much better @BlueBay

You sound so much better

Talking it over with your husband sound as if you were on the same page - but not talking about it with him stressed you and he didn't want to worry you - but you are a team

And having your kids chip in will help too - I was paying board at 16 - that's what kids did then

However - there is not reason you can't start looking now - it will give you some ideas - house hunting can be good if there is not pressure -

btw - my parents bought a two bedroom house for a family of 6 - this was econimising to an unrealistic and unkind extent. My Gran shared the second bedroom with my sister - I had the diningroom to myself but that was rough when we had visitors - and my brother slept in the back porch and then the back of the garage - where it was icy in winter and was called Antarctica -

It is sensible to have enough rooms for the family - and having them chip in for the priviledge - that will make life easier - esp while you recover

You seem much better for writing all this @BlueBay

Decadian

Thanks everyone for your comments and suggestions.

So I went back to work today and my so called friend/co-worker didn't even ask me how I was. I can't believe it, she asked the other girl but becaue I was on the phone she could have asked me when i finished theh call.

i just can't believe this person, i thought she was my friend. but obviously not. so i carried on my work, did what i had to do and left at 4pm an hour earlier than normal for the moment.

Last night i wasn't too good, i was angry and couldn't work out with whom or why. I chatted online to Lifeline and whoever i was chatting to was helpful enough to get me to not self harm. the suicide thoughts are still here every now and then they pop in and after the last few days i could have gonoe that way - but - i didn't.

@BlueBay

That little snipe is not worth your time and care - truly. Although I have only known you on-line since Easter I have come to see you through the written word and felt your courage to continue through the heart beats of your darkest hours - and thought often that although I never read you saying it outright that suicide was on your mind a lot of the time

And you did not know this - but what I was reading was the struggle of someone who was totally out of their depth - and yet concerned about your son while he was overseas - and battling with your family finances in spite of your health - and many other little clues that tell me that

This person is no one near the person you are - and maybe one day you will see this

And you are continuing to work even though you are still battling your demons - that is really hard - I know because I have done that

I hope you will be okay with your SI - it is hard - but selfishly - I like you and I want you to stay - I think you are a fine person and a valuable member here - and part of your family

Time will pass and you will see you are better than your mother - it took me time to see that I was better than mine -

I always think of your - I think you were among the first people I engaged with seriously here - I am sure you were - and I think you are really sensitive and feel slights more than that person you work with

And she will never know - she is not the kind of person who will ever be helpful

You are much loved

Decadian