Life after hospital

Awww @Decadian you are so special, thank you so much for your kind words.

I am pretty sure that i would do anything to harm myself or even worse because of my beautiful children. it's just that sometimes i am so overwhelmed with everything going on i just want it all to stop.

SH is something i need to control and work out another way of releasing my anger.

As for that friend - it's hard for me to just it go - i struggle with that so much. But i am going tI o continue staying busy so i don't have to talk to her so much. i will be polite and nice but that's it.

It's funny who really get to see who your 'real' frieds are when you're in hospital. I had 3 of my close friends call, visit or text me. I even received a get well card from our other pharmacy store sent to me at the hospital. that was a real shock because not even one person sent me a text or card. not that i expected it but i thought this particular friend may have, but she didn't.

oh, well i need to look after myself not anyone else anymore. By the way, my supervisor called me today and said he was glad I was back. He is happy for me to cut back my days and hours as i am doing at the moment. i am lucky to have good management support. Pity some staff members aren't the same.

@Decadian@utopia@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member

Thank you so much to all you beautiful people. If it wasn't for being on here and getting the support and love from you and others on here I don't know what i would have done.

You all pull me up again when i fall down; you praise me when i do something good; you are there for me when i cry. I feel like you are all my part of my family.

Just imagine if we all got together and had a huge circle hug where we would cry, laugh and just be together. (let's picture that)

no one else knows except you guys on here how my SH and suicide thoughts have been; all my deep issues i have been going through - not even my hubby or kids know, except for all of you.

i sometimes don't support everyone on here and i do feel guilty at times, so i am sorry if i haven't been on to reply to others. but i do think of you all and (gosh i better stop cause i am crying)

just a big thank you for being by my side. No other family member has ever done what you guys have done for me and are still doing

xxxxooooo

It would be great to get together had have a group hug - I don't know if this is something that can be organised

@BlueBay

There was a time - before the internet - when I was often in a bad place and not much good to anyone at times - but through my ordinary life I have been incredibly lucky with the professional people who have helped me - and then on-line as well - and the things we tell each other on-line are incredible - they are deep - I think if I opened up to someone in the real world I would cry like I do when I ring Life Line

But here I can read what a person writes and this is easier for me - I and I think that here there are people who are learning this skill - and you will too. Whenever we respond to other people we increase that ability - and the time will come when your life hurts you less - and you will be able to respond - and bring the energy of your own experiences to your responses - and you are already doing that

Also - there are shallow people in the world - these are not the people who struggle with life - but rather people who don't even see it - have no idea of the ocean life in our unconscious life - where we battle though different layers of being

But you have already improved a lot since I first started reading your posts - and it was wise that you left us for a short while and worked harder on yourself when you were in hospital - I guess we would have chatted to you while you wanted to - but you had to do really intense work on your own

The worker from another pharmacy was a surprise - I bet that felt really good - that person may not know how deeply you have appreciated that

Looking back I can see myself back in the early 1980s - I was a mess - I cried so much - often I was out of control - I wonder I didn't turn to something else but that is so much against how my grandmother taught me through her loving but strict life - and she too was a bereaved mother and my grandfather died from war related TB when my mother was young - so she was alone through her life - and maybe I learned something from her - without knowing it

Every thing we do or don't do changes the future - you will see this in time but years have to pass - so many years have -you will find this true - you have work to do now - but you will reap the benefit in the future yourself

Decadian

Group hug ....

Aww @Faith-and-Hope

I LOVE IT - yes that's us having a big group hug. xxxooo

@Decadian

I always love reading what you say. You are such a wise beautiful caring person. And you have gone through a lot in your life, but you always have time for me.

Yes, it was really nice to receive a card from the other pharmacy at the hospital - i cried when i read all the words people put in it, it made me feel loved and cared for.

xxxooo