Life after hospital

Hi @BlueBay,

I'm so sorry- @Sylvester had to leave for the night before she could reply!

It's so easy to fall into a pattern of worrying isn't it? I guess the thing is when we do that it can make things so much harder. I've always been told (in times when I've fallen into the "worry trap"!) to try to remain grounded in the present and what I "know". So at this time.. You know you have a job. There's no problems right now - as far as you know.

On Monday, when you can find out about whether or not there is something to worry about- you can worry! But until then, worrying isn't going to change anything. And if it gets to Monday and there was nothing to worry about at all, you'll probably feel really silly for overthinking!

Does that make sense? Maybe it's just me, but thinking about things in that way usually helps me refocus on the important things I wanted to do with my time other than worrying! Do you have plans this weekend? Knitting and going for a walk (things you mentioned you're already doing) are some great ways to help manage your worries and refocus so well done! 🙂

Hi @BlueBay

I have found this myself - if I ask a number of people for reasons - I get a variety of reasons - so who do you believe?

Look inside yourself - and which response seems most valid to you?

As far as I can see - which has severe limitations - I think you have been through a lot and there are still unresolved issues - financial - your job - your MIL just a few - and these are ordinary things lots of people would identify with but

I can see no better reason to work except for the money - we all need that - I can still hardly believe that there were times when I had two jobs when my husband was supposed to support me - that was what I was brought up to believe -

One thing I am sure of - and even this year I have found this reason for fatigue - working through or emotional and psychological issues is hard, tough work - and it's as if you are rearranging the inside of you mind - doesn't a day of moving furniture around make us all tired?

One day at a time - or I have often told myself - 20 minutes at a time

You are tired - I get it - I get tired out my brain at times - some of it is my medication - sure of that -

I don't understand Centrelink - I believe what you are saying but what your husband earns cannot mean you don't need income yourself - people get a part-pension when their spouse is working - I got Austudy when I was still married - it was as if I was a separate individual - so you need income

But if this is the case - and things do change - and you are selling your home - surely you can take out a bridging loan and you would have to see your bank manager about that

Maybe time off work for a while at least is what you need - being so tired happens - and you do need time to recover

Decadian

Hi @Decadian

Something's not right with me - my fatigue is not good. Today i did too much, when to the shops with my husband so he could buy his mum some tops and he bought me a birthday present. We then came home and then went out to see some friends who asked us over for a drink (i only had water). Came home and had dinner and now all i wnat to do is - hide in bed and cry. i am so tired.

I wish i could take a month or two off work - which is why i am sort of worrying becuse why would the pharmacist wsuggest it if he and the supervisor haven't discussed it.

I have to work for money to help pay mortgage and bills and food. i hardly buy anything for myself.

This is why i am in so much emotional pain and anger because i feel stuck - between my health and wellbeing and our finances.

I am having a meeting with a counsellor at a community support centre, in desperation i emailed them last week from hospital and they replied to meet me tomorrow morning. But i feel so ashamed and embarassed to have to go and ask for help. But i have no one else to turn to.

I just feel my whole body is being pulled down, from head to my toes. like something is dragging me down, maybe like a heavy weight. i didn't have a good night sleep last night, very restless and that was with a sleeping tablet.

what do i do?

Hi @utopia

all i want to do is cry, i don't know why i am so tired. can't concentrate, thhink of my memory is crap.

I feel crap, it's only 8pm and i am ready to hit the pillow.

maybe my GP is right - i am still suffering mental exhaustion. well how do i get over that?

i can't think properly anymore,

---

@Sadgirl wrote:

Hi @Decadian

I have to work for money to help pay mortgage and bills and food. i hardly buy anything for myself.

This is why i am in so much emotional pain and anger because i feel stuck - between my health and wellbeing and our finances.

---

Hi @BlueBay

This is what I have been thinking about and now you have written this I will say that this is too much for you

It seems you are over-committed - and there is no need to be ashamed of this - you need any help you can get so it is a very good idea to get it

It is not good at all to risk your health any further - this is why you are so exhausted - and all the work you did in hospital seems to have revealed the cracks in many things for you - and now the financial situation is overpowering

You are feeling totally boxed in - this is dragging you down

But only you can make a decision - or many decisions - because there are consequences to all you do - and maybe you are stuck now because of all this - it's too much

You are in my thoughts

Decadian

Hi @Decadian

I think you're right. We are probably now over committed and we are stuck or should i say i am stuck. My hubby worries, I know he does but he doesn't do anything to help ease the situation or the worry. Maybe he doesn't know how.

I am the one that has to face Centrelink or the people from the community centre and ask for help, not him and do you know how horrible that feels. i have never ever asked strangers for help.

oh yeah i did ask my mum and dad years ago when our hot water unit broke down and the kids were (5,4,1) all i asked for was some money to help buy a new unit. her answer was oh sorry no i can't because we have just bought a new lounge!!!

I got off the phone and bawled my eyes out. how could they not help me when in need. she went had to go to the bank and up our credit card.

I have to stop thinking about my parents becaue they make me so damn ANGRY. every single time i have ever wanted some help there was always an excuse.

I do feel like i am boxed in and can't get out of this tangled mess. i told my husband lets sign the paperwork this week and not wait until he finishes all the bits and pieces to make it look even better. stuff it, people who buy a home will buy it either way, whether there is more mulch in the garden or not or whether a wall is painted or not. i know it will look fresher but how long do we wait.

so again i have to take the initiatie and do the work - i am tired of this all the time. actually just had a thought i am going to text him and he can phone the agent and deal with him. i will stay out, he can do the talking. it's about time he steps up and does more instead of relying on me all the time. and i am the idiot that does all the time.

better go, i have a 10am appt with the comunity support centre - boy i am so nervous. i will let you know how i go later on today.

Hi @utopia

Today is sunny, i have done 2 loads of washing and cleaned the ensuite. i have a 10am appt with the community centre for assistance of some sort (?) and when i get home i will go for a walk. however long i feel like doing.

i only have a tablet for anxiety which does help me sleep but not actual sleeping tablet. i must ask my psych about that. and tonight i will write down 3 thhings i have done for myself today and feel good about.

take care, hope you're doing okay.