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Life after hospital

Life after hospital

Hi @NikNik@CherryBomb @Decadian@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope@Silenus and everyone else I have forgotten (i am sorry my memory is not good)

Life after hospital???

I really don't know. I was in hospital for 3 weeks and I did hibernate for the first 3 days sleeping most of that time. I had a change of meds which took a while to work out the strength. Then my BP was doing weird things and they changed those meds as well. I was totally exhausted and I don't know if I will ever get better.

I did eventually join in socially and do groups but unfortunately the groups triggered a lot of memories of my childhood abuse,, my mum and how she has treated me, so I used to walk out in tears. I seemed to be crying and sleeping quite a lot. Self harming was on my mind a lot and i was 'looked after' really well by the staff. Often they would pop in my room and just chat but at times all i wanted to do was cry and sleep.

My discharge yesterday was emotional, i didn't want to leave my safe place, my peace and quiet. I tried the night before something terrible and wrote a note to one of the night staff who sat down with me in my room and he told me I don't believe in myself enough that i am strong but i don't see it.

I saw so many people from all walks of life suffering in silence. I came home on the weekends and couldn't even look at the house as it was untidy or not how i would keep it. so after a bit of cleaning i decided no i wanted to go back to 'my safe home'.

Today i had to see my GP and was falling asleep, i told him i am not sure if it's the meds and he said i am still exhausted.

I just feel like crying. Having horrible nightmares at the hospital was so bad that i was too scared to close my eyes, but i had the best male night staff who sat with me and made me a hot milo and gave me some meds to calm down and go off to sleep.

I am so axious about work tomorrow, but i have no money, no sick leave and no annual leave. tried centrelink but they are useless as my hubby earns just over the threshold. so on top of finances and my health i feel i am still not the best.

I wasn't gooing to come on here so soon but i needed to talk to someone as i am home alone. the only good thing that kept me going was knitting.

God i wish i could jusst go away, need to stop these negative thoughts.

Anyway i just wanted to say hi, i am still here and i am sorry if i have forgotten someone's name - i think my exhuastion and meds are affecting my concentration and memory.

I really don't kow how i will cope tomorrow.

i am so scared and anxious.

You were all probably hoping for me to be jumping up and down with glee - if only.

ps. another thing we are signing papers to sell our home this week; that's one good thing i suppose, just the packing is overwhelming.

394 replies

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In response to: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

@Decadian. I'm glad you are feeling a bit better. I've read a number of books on the Southern Aboriginal tribes of Australia. Yes the men hunted big game. But the women grabbed small game as they were teaching the younger ones. They found the greens and berries and tubers and they set up camp - ready for the hunters to return. Not always with game. So the women were the main providers of the everyday basic foods.<br>I haven't been on a jumping castle or trampoline since I birthed my son. Talk about another womans issue. But I've decided this week - enough is enough - I'm going to get an appointment with an incontinence nurse / physio and once and for all deal with this stress incontinence. <br>Watch this space next year - I'll be taking over the jumping castle. The kids will just have to wait their turn. Lol<br>I'm about to take my meds and go to bed. Sweet dreams

In response to: Re: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

Good for you @utopia ❣

Goodnight .... 💕💤

In response to: Re: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

Yes @utopia

Women were consistent in finding the basics for a meal - the men might return a member short - hunting was no sport - it was the real deal - and men died doing it

I have read a bit on the Southern Indigneous People - my son's ancestors might have been - most likely have been - from this part of Southern Victoria.

I saw the movie from the book Along the Rabbit Proof Fence - great book - great movie - the women caught a goanna in that movie - that was in the desert

Stress incontinence - yes - get something done about it if you can - it would be unpleasant - I have a very small amount of (why is this so hard to talk about?) - there is a product for this condition I use - and it is certainly not bad enough to have anything done about it - this might change though

At the clinic where I go there are lots of things suggested andd/or advertised - and stress-incontinence is one of them - and if it is bad enough to be noticed then it is bad enough to have it attended too

Decadian

In response to: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

@Decadian. Yes I wouldn't want to be a hunter. Dangerous work. That's why the women needed to gather as well. You just never knew if your husband would return from the hunt.
Having moved from Melbourne to the country I've been trying to find as much information as I can on our local clans. My local librarian has been fantastic at sourcing me books.
It still frustrates me that the local museum starts their history with white settlers and makes no mention of the lical aboriginal tribe.Even though we kknow some of their history from their descendants.

In response to: Re: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

Women are very important and more interesting too @utopia

I was a tomboy and the idea of being a "young lady" horrified me - but I have learned that being a woman and and emancipated woman - I have the best of choices - though this was not always true

Perhaps I have been one of the women who has been very active in changing things - if we are proactive we can never know what seed of our thought spoken falls where and for whom and where it is carried

We change the world and don't really know it - well - with my son I did change things - I have the hard copies of all that I did when I was into all of that in the past

And yes - of course the white people - the in-comers - the usurpers - wrote the history books - I have yet to go to see Aboriginal painting etc - and I believe our Indigneous people were literate - they had an oral tradition and it was valuable - we should not wake the dragon (Rainbow Serpent) - sleeping under Kakadu

I saw quite a few aboriginal women in Canberra - and made an excuse to talk to them - I felt really happy doing that

Still - I can get flashbacks if I look into everything too much - I did work for 10 years and that was enough - I had to stop and now I do not want to get into it too much for fear of a backlash emotionally

But still - I care so much about the First People everywhere - on NITV I saw a programme called We were Children - two American Indians told their stories about being abused in Government Boarding Schools and their parents sent them there in good faith so they would have a Western education

This is enough - it's late - I don't need to go on and on tonight - but yes - I read what I can

Decadian

In response to: Re: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

Some days I just don't understand my husband.

I am so annoyed, he cracks it at the most stupidest things. For eg. the back door was not locked, it was closed but not locked. He has to check every single door so many times during the night before he goes to bed to see if it is locked. So he went just then and cracks it because it's not locked.

There are so many other things to worry about insteadhe is cracking it over dumb things. Like boys runners out the front door.

The phone rang before and he cracks it because he thought it was the nursing home again. They rang again last night. So he says tonight, no i am not talking to them, i am watching this show on tv. so i grab the phone and it was for him, it was his boss. i really thinks he needs to speak to a grief counsellor; even his work boss suggested it but oh no he won't go. he doesn't think he has a problem.

This is why i feel i need to get away.

In response to: Re: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

@BlueBay

Hugs .... ❤️💕

It's hard when someone is grouchy with you ....

In response to: Re: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

@Faith-and-Hope

so do i just ignore him and his 'issues'.

at the moment i am just pretending i am not listening. i have so much of my own issues that i can't take on anyone elses.

even when i was in hospital last night, he came to pick me up this morning but if i didn't tell him what happened, he didn't ask.

and you know what annoys me - my 23 yr old son said to hubby last night - oh i don't know why mum had to go to hospital; she takes too many meds, she should not take them. What the hell - if i need blood pressure meds, i need to take them; and the same for the AD. And my husbad didn't say anything, he just tells me what our son had said.

he should have said something to our son, actually to all kids. it is so annoying how blaise he is with my mental health.

sometimes i think it would be so much easier if i had a broken bone.

In response to: Re: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

I'm sure it can feel like that sometimes @BlueBay .... but you are all under quite a bit of pressure ....

You are the "patient" at the moment though .... cos you're the one needing treatment and medication ... and you need to self-care even when your family need a bit of a break .... and carers do need a break so they don't burn out ...

Try not to take what your hubby is saying - not saying - doing - not doing too much to heart .... his year has been hard on him too.

You will all get through this, but it sounds like everybody's elastic is fully stretched at the moment ....

Maybe some down-time is due for everybody ....

Can you watch a comedy on TV together tonight ? Something a bit light-hearted ? And hot chocolate all round ? A family-pampering night ?

Just a thought ....

💜💕

In response to: Re: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

Hi @BlueBay. With the back door issue, perhaps he is over safety conscious.. I had a bf who I had problems with in connection with my front door being closed, but not locked. He made a very sarcastic remark over my asking him if he had forgotten to lock my door. Your hubby could have a form of OCD, where his need to check doors several times is part of OCD. Also with talking on the phone, I have a friend who txts, constantly rather than actually speaking on the phone as he fears he is being listened to. That is another form of OCD. He could be in denial about the condition, Rather than face that he has a problem, it's easier to deny it. Admitting to any sort of MI carries a stigma. The fear of being looked at or being thought of as 'strange' is quite scary. Until your hubby is ready to admit he needs help, all you can do is either ignore him, or simply tell him, yes you've checked and re-checked to see the door is locked. With your phone calls, I would simply say to him, it could be your boss. If it isn't, hand the phone to me. I realize it's frustrating, but, as I said, till he's ready to ask for help, there's not a lot you can do. I'm so sorry for you, the situation you're in probably has you tearing your hair out. If your hubby does have a form of OCD, getting him assessed to see how bad it is, is going to be difficult. Perhaps you could ask his boss to suggest it as part of a mental health assessment. If he thinks his job depends on a mental assessment, he may not be quite so suspicious.
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