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Life after hospital

Life after hospital

Hi @NikNik@CherryBomb @Decadian@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope@Silenus and everyone else I have forgotten (i am sorry my memory is not good)

Life after hospital???

I really don't know. I was in hospital for 3 weeks and I did hibernate for the first 3 days sleeping most of that time. I had a change of meds which took a while to work out the strength. Then my BP was doing weird things and they changed those meds as well. I was totally exhausted and I don't know if I will ever get better.

I did eventually join in socially and do groups but unfortunately the groups triggered a lot of memories of my childhood abuse,, my mum and how she has treated me, so I used to walk out in tears. I seemed to be crying and sleeping quite a lot. Self harming was on my mind a lot and i was 'looked after' really well by the staff. Often they would pop in my room and just chat but at times all i wanted to do was cry and sleep.

My discharge yesterday was emotional, i didn't want to leave my safe place, my peace and quiet. I tried the night before something terrible and wrote a note to one of the night staff who sat down with me in my room and he told me I don't believe in myself enough that i am strong but i don't see it.

I saw so many people from all walks of life suffering in silence. I came home on the weekends and couldn't even look at the house as it was untidy or not how i would keep it. so after a bit of cleaning i decided no i wanted to go back to 'my safe home'.

Today i had to see my GP and was falling asleep, i told him i am not sure if it's the meds and he said i am still exhausted.

I just feel like crying. Having horrible nightmares at the hospital was so bad that i was too scared to close my eyes, but i had the best male night staff who sat with me and made me a hot milo and gave me some meds to calm down and go off to sleep.

I am so axious about work tomorrow, but i have no money, no sick leave and no annual leave. tried centrelink but they are useless as my hubby earns just over the threshold. so on top of finances and my health i feel i am still not the best.

I wasn't gooing to come on here so soon but i needed to talk to someone as i am home alone. the only good thing that kept me going was knitting.

God i wish i could jusst go away, need to stop these negative thoughts.

Anyway i just wanted to say hi, i am still here and i am sorry if i have forgotten someone's name - i think my exhuastion and meds are affecting my concentration and memory.

I really don't kow how i will cope tomorrow.

i am so scared and anxious.

You were all probably hoping for me to be jumping up and down with glee - if only.

ps. another thing we are signing papers to sell our home this week; that's one good thing i suppose, just the packing is overwhelming.

394 replies

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In response to: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

How are you going today @BlueBay? Been for a walk along the beach yet? Was lovely and sunny here this morning. Just starting to cloud over now. Expecting rain late this afternoon and tomorrow.

In response to: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

Hi @Decadian

I hate having these dreams. They stay with me for a long time, they are so visual and in detail. I must tell my psych; was thinking of phoning him on monday as my headaches are still with me and my BP is still quite high 145/98 pulse 102. i am going to lay down soon and have a rest.

That's a good point you mentioned - maybe i can ask my psych or therapist to help me with that.

I mentioned to hubby yesterday that we should go camping for a few days (Fri-Sund or even mon) and he said we have too many bills to pay. I said it would be good for him because of his mum's issues. and it would be good for me too.

so now i don't know; i know it wouldn't cost a lot if we went to a cvaravan park and brought our tent.

i will work on that. yes this running away is still on my mind and it is getting stronger each day.

Hope you are well @Decadian xxxooo

In response to: Re: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

Hi @utopia

Worked this morning 9.30-12.30 and then had lunch. Hubby put all the washing out so that's dried. Washed Jersey in the backyard. and now i am inside thinking i will lay down for a while as my BP is still high.

i would love to go for a walk but i have no motivation atm. i think my headache is wanting me to just rest.

if not today i will definitely go for a walk tomorrow. it is still sunny here, hopefully it won't rain for a while.

how are you today @utopia are you feeling better? xxxooo

In response to: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

@BlueBay. I forgot you were working this morning. No wonder you need a rest. Your bp is what mine is like -& I take medication for it. Without the meds I'm into the 190 / 110 & above range. So this is good for me. A friend just sent me a post about how celery juice helps reduce blood pressure. I'll go shopping next week and buy heaps of celery and borrow my mums juicer and see how I go. Worth a try anyway. Can't do me any harm.
My nose has dried up a lot. The head cold I s almost gone. But it has moved to my chest and every cough feels like being kicked in the ribs. So I'm sitting up in bed - with four pillows. If I lie down I cough more. But like you - I could do with a rest. Running out of energy. And it's hard to keep positive when I'm feeling sick. But I'm managing.
Sent my son and my sister to my best friends daughters birthday party - don't want to infect anyone - but I was looking forward to pretending I'm not middle aged and going on the jumping castle. Oh well. Next year.

In response to: Re: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

Hi @BlueBay

Ahhhhhhhhh - husbands!!!!

Suggest to him that it would cost more if you didn't work - a couple of days away is not going to break the bank

I can say that as a mother-in-law I think I make a pretty good score - I do not interfer in my dd and sil's marriage - the only thing I suggest or agree out loud with is that they take time to spend together away from their 4 adult children - and they do

So - imo - it's essential to have quality time with your partner, husband, wife, whatever in the long term relationship stakes

I am feeling better today but taking things quietly - the UTI was a bad one - last night even after the antibiotics I felt crappy - and in too much pain to sleep - and so I got my computer and fell asleep with it on my bed - not planned - but I did sleep for hours and that made a difference - mainly I was tired I think - but those stomach cramps - I know you had them and if you get them again after a pelvic exam think - that could be the cause - definately - pressure on your bladder from the internal examination

The things we women have to have happen - [squawk]

Short story - today I am feeling a bit tired but so much better than I felt during the week - I was so ill and thought it would clear up with urals and lots of water - but no - I am on antibiotics

All the best about a few days away

Decadian

In response to: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

Hi @Decadian. I'm sorry to hear you have been sick. Thank God for Antibiotics. I'm like you. I try the Ural first with plenty of extra water, but sometimes - it's not enough.
Yes women and our bodies - we do go through some hard and some annoying things - simply by being female. But for all that - I'm glad I'm a girl. Women are strong!

In response to: Re: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

@Decadian

I'm working on getting hubby to go camping at this beautiful caravan park. All he needs to do is take friday and monday off and we are set. it wouldn't cost much to camp on a site. we have been to this place before and it is huge with lots to do, indoor pool, tennis courts and the amenities are very clean 🙂

We have never roughed it before so that's why we keep going back to this place for camping. and it would only cost $40 a night for a powered site.

I'll keep working on it and hopefully before the end of next week i'll have it booked 🙂

friends of ours just asked to go to the city for the night leaving tomorrow. but hubby works on monday and we don't have money to spend in the city. plus i think it is better if i stay home or close to home with my high BP. i prefer just to sit and relax instead of walking around the city all day long.

glad you got onto the antibiotics, they will clear things up quickly. have a nice rest. chat later.

In response to: Re: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

Hi @BlueBay

Yes - work on your husband for a $40.00 night accommodation - Oh gollygosh - what I paid for 4 star in Canberra - and loved every minutes of - a break will do you both the world of good

He needs the break too - quality time with plenty of things to do where you don't have to go far - and no phone calls at night -

Decadian

In response to: Re: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

Thanks @utopia

Yes - I was really ill - I didn't realise how bad - I just thought I was becoming extra lazy - not to be tolerated here - almost a relief to know there was something physical wrong

It's so much more socially acceptable

And women get it all - and some men think we are inferior - what I read in a book about the Hunter/Gatherers - "Men walk back from hunting accidents with terrible pain from serious injuries - but listen to the women cry out when they are in labour"

Luckily not all men are like that - we women are tough in a different way - tough inside - and one reason we are usually smaller and do not have all that muscle is because we are not meant to do the heavy work -

But we want to be equal - another one of those tough issues

I should just say thanks for the best wishes - and I have been feeling better today - and although I have felt shaken up this afternoon - I have done all sorts of things around the house - winter might wear off yet

Decadian

In response to: Re: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

Hey @utopia

I want to go on the Jumping Castle - what fun - and I can't do it any younger

But then....................

Remember Cup Day 1987 - we went to Luna Park and I stayed on the Big Dipper and used up all my tickets having one ride after the other - great day - best half-hour or however long

Next day - awwwwww - ah - I still enjoy the memory but I am giving the Jumping Castle a miss until my 100th birthday

Dec

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