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Life after hospital

Life after hospital

Hi @NikNik@CherryBomb @Decadian@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope@Silenus and everyone else I have forgotten (i am sorry my memory is not good)

Life after hospital???

I really don't know. I was in hospital for 3 weeks and I did hibernate for the first 3 days sleeping most of that time. I had a change of meds which took a while to work out the strength. Then my BP was doing weird things and they changed those meds as well. I was totally exhausted and I don't know if I will ever get better.

I did eventually join in socially and do groups but unfortunately the groups triggered a lot of memories of my childhood abuse,, my mum and how she has treated me, so I used to walk out in tears. I seemed to be crying and sleeping quite a lot. Self harming was on my mind a lot and i was 'looked after' really well by the staff. Often they would pop in my room and just chat but at times all i wanted to do was cry and sleep.

My discharge yesterday was emotional, i didn't want to leave my safe place, my peace and quiet. I tried the night before something terrible and wrote a note to one of the night staff who sat down with me in my room and he told me I don't believe in myself enough that i am strong but i don't see it.

I saw so many people from all walks of life suffering in silence. I came home on the weekends and couldn't even look at the house as it was untidy or not how i would keep it. so after a bit of cleaning i decided no i wanted to go back to 'my safe home'.

Today i had to see my GP and was falling asleep, i told him i am not sure if it's the meds and he said i am still exhausted.

I just feel like crying. Having horrible nightmares at the hospital was so bad that i was too scared to close my eyes, but i had the best male night staff who sat with me and made me a hot milo and gave me some meds to calm down and go off to sleep.

I am so axious about work tomorrow, but i have no money, no sick leave and no annual leave. tried centrelink but they are useless as my hubby earns just over the threshold. so on top of finances and my health i feel i am still not the best.

I wasn't gooing to come on here so soon but i needed to talk to someone as i am home alone. the only good thing that kept me going was knitting.

God i wish i could jusst go away, need to stop these negative thoughts.

Anyway i just wanted to say hi, i am still here and i am sorry if i have forgotten someone's name - i think my exhuastion and meds are affecting my concentration and memory.

I really don't kow how i will cope tomorrow.

i am so scared and anxious.

You were all probably hoping for me to be jumping up and down with glee - if only.

ps. another thing we are signing papers to sell our home this week; that's one good thing i suppose, just the packing is overwhelming.

394 replies

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In response to: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

I can understand how you may find this annoying @BlueBay. During periods of lucidity it can be very distressing for people with dementia and trying to hild on to the things that make your MILfeel safe are very important hor your MIL.

One day most of us will be old anf feeling very lost and confused. This is perhaps a time to remember what it feels like when you think no one really cares about your feelings. It's not a good space to be in. A little compassion for you Mil is a wonderful gift to an elderly person

In response to: Re: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

Hi @Kurra

I do understand what you are saying - but we have had my mil live with us for 20 of our 30 years of marriage. And it had taken it's toll on both of us. Our own family dynamics changed, we changed. I don't even know what it was like before she came to live with us. Don't get me wrong she is a lovely lady but it just got too difficult to have live with us.

Now tht she is in a nursing home it is a bit of respite for us; a bit more freedom and space and free.

We do visit her at least twice a week more than what some others in there get. We do understand that what she is doing, what she says to us, her behaviour is all her dementia. It's not her anymore, it's her dementia.

It is very difficult to see someone who was such an independant lady to know have to rely on others to wash her, change her clothes and settle her. My husband is the only child she has, no other relatives; it's just us.

We are doing the best we can under the circumstances. I know that one day we will all get old and maybe need to be in aged care. I do have compassion, i really do feel for her - if only you knew how guilty I feel in putting her in aged care. I cry every time i see her because it's not a nice place to be in.

@utopia i agree with you - my husband is going to talk to the nursing home today. Because this is not the first time she has wanted to call. Last friday night she called us at midnight. Luckily my husband didn't have to work but he was annoyed at the nurses who couldn't settle her and phoned us. We couldn't do anything as she has bad hearing and couldn't understand my husband, she was saying all the wrong things.

I can see my husband is feeling very stressed and it is not helping him or me or us.

I don't know what else to do.

In response to: Re: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

Hi everyone

The sun is out, the birds are singing - today will be a nice day.

BP - 148/98 pulse 96 very slowly coming down, although this morning i am feeling very shaky and anxious.

I think there are two reasons - i have to enter some figures into a spreadsheet and email to our supervisor, he showed me quickly how to do it yesterday, i took notes - but now i am doubting and forgetting what he told me. i am scared i will stuff it up.

the other - i have a session with my therapist tonight after work and i have been having thoughts that i just want to pack up and go. there is too much stress again at work and at home especially with hubby being so stressed reg. his mum. it's like a time bomb about to go off. i need to talk to my therapist so badly.

ok, just keeping thinking that today will be a nice. i have just closed my eyes and taken a few deep breaths. i just hope i can get through the day without losing it or crying.

another deep breath

In response to: Re: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

Good morning @BlueBay .... 😊

Just take it in baby steps .... 🐾

Enjoy the beautiful day as much as you can ....

❤️💕

In response to: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

Hi @BlueBay. Your anxiety has been activated lately. You have a lot going on. So I think it's important that you know what you want to talk about with your psycholigist tonight. What specifically do you want to talk about - to work on today.
Because you have had so much happening - you won't have time to discuss it all in one session. So what do you want to get out of today's session?
Just thought it may help to focus on one topic or two.
Sending you a big hug.

In response to: Re: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

Hi @utopia @Faith-and-Hope

i cried at work today and i really hate when i do that because it makes me feel so weak and stupid.

i was stressing about putting these shop figures into a spreadsheet and then emailing him. by the time i got to work i was so stressed and my memory had gone. i tried not to think about it but the more i thought about it the more anxious i was.

i ended up waiting for anotehr lady from work to call in to buy something and i asked her if she remembered how to do it. luckily for me she remembered. she showed me and i did it. i then wrote down the procedure of how to do it and now it's in a folder.

i panicked, cried and catastrophised everything when it all turned out right.

my BP tonight is 149/98 pulse 99 so i am not sure. have to ring my GP tomorrow.

had my sessiion with my therapist after work and i was feeling down, really down and i told him. i told him i wanted to run away and he asked where. i told him that i wasn't going to tell him but he said that as soon as i call him the police will be able to track down which location i am in as the mobile phone will pick up the location. he said i wouldn't do it as much as i really want to. he said my kids need me and that he would be worried about me running away.

we then talked about homework (describing my emotions) and he explained it so now i get it.

i don't know why i feel like this tonight; i guess i have been anxious quite a bit lately, stressed quite a lot and i need to just go away. i actually think that hubby and me need a weekend away.

In response to: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

@BlueBay. Well done for asking that lady how to do it & tgen recording the steps. That's one thing that won't cause you any more stress.
Writing down emotions for homework. That's a great exercise. I found it very hard initially to work out what my emotions were. I knew sad, depressed, stressed, angry. That was about it. So my psychologist gave me two sheets of emotions. One sheet had 2 columns. Column 1 a positive word - column 2 - the opposite meaning. I slowly got to add more words to my emotions. Now I have lots more. And I'm sure there is still more to come.
I think a great idea is to have a thesaurus nearby. When writing a journal entry - when you think of how you are feeling - look the word up in the Thesaurus and see if there is another word that describes your feeling a bit better.
You've done alot today. Be sure to acknowledge your strength. ♥♥♥

In response to: Re: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

Hi @BlueBay .... 😊

I like what @utopia said in her post 💜

It might be feeling traumatic, but what you are telling us is actually sounding positive, and that's because you are working through things and working it out ....

It all takes time to learn to process emotions .... and you can hear from @utopia's response that it has been a progression for her too .... it can't all happen overnight .....

🐾 ... baby steps .... 🐾

Be patient with yourself, and acknowledge your achievements .... asking for help and writing down the procedure was really smart .... ❣

In response to: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

Hello @Faith-and-Hope. I hope you are well.

In response to: Re: Life after hospital

Re: Life after hospital

Hi @utopia ... 💕

Thanks for asking ...I am .... 😊

Yesterday was a real struggle with D3 .... she spent the day at home after making the commitment to go to school and give an oral presentation in one of her classes ... missed the deadline to go to school on time, missed the deadline for the presentation, and if she had gotten to the end of the school day without completing and submitting it, it would have meant no graduation ... that's how close to the wire she's walking ... and had a few melt-downs across the day .... but made it by the the end of school ... :face_with_rolling_eyes:😬

Today she went a couple of hours late .... 😔 .... but worked on assignments and came home npmore settled .... has another make-or-break deadline tomorrow ....

Its going to give like this for another week on a daily basis, then she has another week to prepare for her last make-or-break assessment ....

It's tough, and rough, but if she keeps ticking those boxes every day, she will get through it all ....

I have to try to disengage emotionally as much as I can, or I end up feeling wrecked myself ....

Today was an okay day .... and I escaped to the movies tonight with a cousin and D1 .... had great belly laughs with Bridget Jones' Baby .... 😂

🌷💜

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