Life after hospital

Hi @Decadian

I know it may be difficult for the police to tell me, but i will give it a go. I will probably try this week sometime. Today I am home this morning but working at 1-5pm to cover a shift for a girl who is on leave.

At least i got to sleep in this morning having just woken up.

Yeah black and white thinking - i never see anytthing else, i never see the grey bits in between until my therapist or psych point it out. But at least when they do tell me i understand it. I just need to change it - and that is the difficult bit.

You're right, if I do end up finding my aunty and talking to her i won't bring up the sexual abuse. i will just connect with her and catch up every now and then.

yes the walk was amazing yestgerday, but i am a bit sore today; not as bad as i would have thought though.

what are you up to today? how have you been lately?

Good morning @BlueBay ..... 😊

I like this part of what you wrote this morning ....

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@Sadgirl wrote:

You're right, if I do end up finding my aunty and talking to her i won't bring up the sexual abuse. i will just connect with her and catch up every now and then.

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I think it is very wise ...... 💜🌷

I think you need to feel the love of a family member who appreciates you, and bond with her. Catching up every now and then would be lovely ....

If there is a time to bring up the sexual abuse with her, I think it will be much further down the road when a good level of trust has developed between you, and I think you will know if and when that is right .... remeber that she would likely be traumatised to know about it .... but there may be a time when it is okay for her to know.

Baby steps .... the first thing is to be able to find her again .... and it might be that the police can pass your phone number to her, rather than her phone number to you .... that means they are not giving away her privacy, but giving her the option to call you, with the message that you have lost her phone number, would she mind making contact with you again .... ? ❤️

Have a lovely day @BlueBay .... your sore muscles today are reminding you of your great achievement yesterday, while they heal themselves ..... 😊

Hi @BlueBay

All the best with the search for your aunt - this must be something that can only be good - I have two elderly uncles I phone or email now and again - and just talk about everyday stuff - they were both fantastic after my mother died and told me a lot about the past that was helpful - but that was enough - leave the past in the past and talk about it with professionals and with us - we understand

Black and white thinking and shades of grey - I remember with disgust how I hated the first TV transmissions for the Olympic Games in 1953 - we all crowded around the electrical shop and watched his TV with the volume over the loud speaker - boring!!!!!

I was already into movies - loved going to see the big screen and even when Dad finally bought a TV I wasn't interested - too much black - too much white - not enough shades of grey to see the picture properly

Maybe the analogy will help you to see the picture - after some practise the shades of grey will prompt you to see colour in between - who knows - the brand new world with the brand new life you are bringing into it will be in glorious high-definition - my world is like that - I hope you can find yours.

How marvellous that will be

I am battling along - I lost my face book friends list with my new computer and after all the down-loading and fiddling and I am good at this - I still can't read PDF documents and I am going crackers. I am taking medication for my inflamed shoulder and I think this is making me feel ill too - I am seeing my doctor this afternoon.

What I think is that all of this seems trivial - it doesn't seem trivial to my insides but it tells me one thing - the problems of ordinary everyday life are not nearly as traumatic as the things that reach out to us from the past - we can do something about the present and things like getting our computer to do what it is told - I can do my income tax from my bank statements but so much easier if I could read my PDF documents - this is so boring - but you know - what you are doing is so much harder

Take your life one thing at a time - I think you like your job and do well - but it is your insides that gives you a hard time - I have enjoyed chatting with you all this time and other people are helpful too - you have a lot of caring friends here

Hey - would it not be really great to have a big group hug? How could we do that?

But hugs from me -

Decadian

@Decadian

let's visualise a big virtual hug with everyone.

sending you a big hug xxxooo

Thanks for the big hug - BIG HUG @BlueBay

I need that today

We can organise a virtual Big Hug - we can surely do that

Dec

Group hug ❣