Is anyone able to help?

Thanks, @TideisTurning

Actually, by the sounds of things, it's @Historylover who's had the rougher time of late. (I didn't mean to steal focus )

My therapy nightmare was rough, but it was several years ago now. The recent burnout I mentioned earlier is from work I've been doing over the past couple weeks. It takes a toll, certainly, but it's real lightweight stuff compared to what I was going through when I was in therapy.

Hello again @chibam Sorry to hear you are feeling a little burnt out in recent days. I think about you often, and wonder how you are going and if you are finding your way. You are such an interesting fellow and have so much potential. I just wish you had an interest in furthering your education. You mentioned that it wasn't a good memory for you. If we are speaking about education - rather than school experiences - it wasn't for me either. But having untapped potential is such a waste! Overcoming hesitancy to return to it allows us to find ourselves, and life can take on different perspectives and take our minds away from our difficulties for a time. Youtube has such a wealth of opportunities for learning anything and everything. Just yesterday I saw a news article about an immigrant woman who taught herself to swim from youtube! And she had such beautiful style! I use it for my self-education and furthering my class subjects. There has never been such an opportunity to learn - it's at our finger tips - and nothing replaces it in my opinion.

Communication is such a difficult terrain as conveyance and interpretation is everything. I shall have to play devil's advocate regarding the advisory that there is no such thing as 'mental illness'. I thoroughly agree with the concept. We are born into a household with attitudes and beliefs and experiences which, from the outset, shape the person we become. Add to that our individual experiences - especially in our formative years - and we can become very damaged. I don't regard that as 'mental illness'. I never will. What others ascribe to 'mental illness' I ascribe to the expression of the damage to which we have been exposed which distorts our thinking, our perception of self, our perceptions generally etc. It is the expression of the psychological abuse to which we have been exposed which deforms the person we truly are and, usually, causes us to underachieve. That is not - in my opinion - 'mental illness' and does not, in any way, reflect on the sufferer but on those who inflicted it.

Again, playing devil's advocate - the term 'mental illness' is so often referred to, by implication, by others, as 'our lot in life' - from which there is no escape. Personally, I have never regarded, and again, never will regard myself as having suffered 'mental illness'. I suffered Depression and a personality damaged by sustained psychological abuse. I didn't do that to myself.

So the question is how do we disentangle the mess of our lives? For me, I am giving it my best efforts.

I look about me and I am sick of seeing people whose lives are in absolute ruin - some living on footpaths - who once had a future ahead of them - and society just walks past. And their numbers just keep increasing.

Currently, everybody is worrying about how they will manage when Jobkeeper comes to an end. i wonder how often, when things were going well, that they gave a second thought to those who have never had the opportunity to get 'off the footpath'. It's time everybody gave a damn about their fellow man. It's not too hard. It's time society actually gave a damn about these people and those in positions to do so actually did their job instead of just looking after their own interests - getting paid regardless of their productivity.

If I have gone a little 'off topic' - please excuse me. Feeling more than a little jaded from people who never stop whinging about their current difficulties regarding Covid -19. Life sucks sometimes. And it's only fair everyone else gets a taste of it.

Education is not the same as learning..

Education is an institutional word VS learning can be done anywhere in many different capacities. When you want to learn something new, it's good to understand the difference between whether you passionate about learning it vs are doing it for a reason?

Passion wanes.. its very much an emotion that can come and go daily and using a passion for long term study can be a frustrating experience. If you are learning as a goal, such as to understand the hierarchy that can deliver a difference to homeless people, you will find that you will seek to be educated by those who inspire you and you will be much more consistent with your study.

Why do you want to learn Vs why do you want to be educated? One is about seeking, one is about the power of others to give us information and if they have power, they can tell us whatever they want us to know. 🙂

Not quite sure of your message @AussieRecharger and to be honest - I think it a tedious and unnecessary argument.

I consider that you are splitting hairs needlessly. One definition of 'education' is "the imparting or acquisition of wisdom, skill" Macquarie dictionary. It doesn't specify who should impart or acquire - or where. "Education is the process of training man to fulfill his aim by exercising all the faculties to the fullest extent as a member of society" Aristotle. "Education means knowledge, values, skills, critical thinking, problem solving and creativity" - my 'phone.

The root of the word - 'educare' means to lead forth, to draw out...any experience which has a formative effect on the way one thinks, feels, acts may be considered educational".

When I want to learn something new - as you say - I simply do it. I don't bother analysing why I'm doing it - passionate about it or for a reason.

I won't go on. I prefer productive argument rather than argument for argument sake. It's what I'm accustomed to.

Hey @Historylover

I was commenting on your "wish for @chibam to continue their education". I don't come here for arguments for arguments sake, that would be a waste of both of our time. 🙂

Just pointing out that we send our kids to school to get educated, but then we test them to get an understanding of how much they have learnt because as you pointed out, communication is such difficult terrain.

oh and @Historylover - Have you seen this before.. i think you might like it based on your name and previous posts.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cegl1BZ-0tI

Thank you for your thoughtful response and I can see you 2 have a great rapport so I shall leave you be.

You sound a bit worked up, @Historylover . I'm sorry things aren't going so well for you ATM. I wish I knew how to make them better for you.

I think I get where your coming from, @AussieRecharger . Basically it all comes down to whether education/learning is voluntary or involuntary - or coerced.

Oh, and FWIW, your input is welcome here. Please don't feel obliged to leave if you don't want to.

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@Historylover wrote:

I think about you often, and wonder how you are going and if you are finding your way. You are such an interesting fellow and have so much potential. I just wish you had an interest in furthering your education. You mentioned that it wasn't a good memory for you. If we are speaking about education - rather than school experiences - it wasn't for me either. But having untapped potential is such a waste!

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As I think I mentioned a while back, education is a complicated issue with me.

No. You know what? That's not really true. Education is actually quite straightforward with me. But very few people can understand my position and I likewise can't grasp theirs; and that gets very complicated, and unpleasant at times, too.

Suffice to say, what you would call "untapped potential" I see more akin to "averted disaster". Education doesn't lead to the sort of places I'd ever want to go. I know a few very educated people, and to be honest, I pitty them. I pitty them for the hollowness of their lives. They are cautionary tales rather then inspirational examples to follow. And when I'm being selfishly self-reflective, I pitty myself for having to endure the shadow of their sad, empty lives; and their absence of personality.

On the flip side, the people I know personally who I would be most inclined to emulate are all very uneducated people - or people who were educated, but for who the education didn't sink in.

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@Historylover wrote:

Overcoming hesitancy to return to it allows us to find ourselves, and life can take on different perspectives and take our minds away from our difficulties for a time.

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TBH, I've never really been able to relate to the phrase "finding yourself". I've always known who I am, what I need and what I love. It's home I've never been able to find; a place where my family is. A place where I can look around and be surrounded by people I can say: "Oh my god! You guys really get it! You really know how to live!"; people who's company I feel genuinely blessed to be amongst, who enrich my life and give me cause to want to prolong my life rather then end it. A place where I'm genuinely welcome, appreciated and prized. A place where I can truly be myself and say what I really think, and be not merely tollerated, but emphatically agreed with.

You say I have untapped potential, and I guess your right. But it's potential that can only flourish in a place like that. Maybe I'm full of myself, but I think I could be a real icon of the town in a town like that.

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@Historylover wrote:

If I have gone a little 'off topic' - please excuse me. Feeling more than a little jaded from people who never stop whinging about their current difficulties regarding Covid -19. Life sucks sometimes. And it's only fair everyone else gets a taste of it.

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I get that. I, too, have found myself hoping that covid might turn out to be a learning experiance for people who've always made out our plights are "no big deal".

But be careful indulging resentment, @Historylover . It's addictive and ultimately it never leads anywhere good.

It seems @AussieRecharger that we are on different channels. As I said, communication is dependent on delivery and interpretation - and, from where I am at the moment, I am still having difficulty with the reason for your response - as it seems, you are with mine.

Chibam - and many others - has been such a support to me through these recent, difficult times. Because of the psychiatrist I had, I was taken from a young woman who had little confidence in her ability, in her intellect, to one who cannot get enough of education - of learning - whatever you want to call it. I know, from experience, how growth through education can alter our perception of who we are. And, it seems to me, to be dependent on the courage to take the first step out of our comfort zone.

I look about me and see people, who have such potential, who are underachieving - and it breaks my heart. Others, realizing their potential, are getting ahead, while they are being left behind. The quiet achiever can achieve so much.

Education doesn't have to be for a purpose - to get a better job eg., it is the gaining of higher skills, and that opens up an entirely different world. A world of which we are part instead of merely onlookers. It raises our appraisal of ourselves. It becomes an end in itself.

It stops us stagnating - and isn't that important?

@chibam - things have been going better than they were such a short time ago. To be honest, I don't think I will survive what has been done to me - but I have decided not to go down without a fight. I have been given every handicap except a physical one - to date, anyway.

I'm giving it all my best effort, trying to figure out how some people are able to get ahead and some are not able to, despite all efforts. I'm trying to figure out how to be a winner, successful, how to fit in - with all of my handicaps - and be truly integrated. To find 'my people'. How to get the 'fair go' Australians like to talk about. Is it just a platitude? Does our society only function when we create 'underdogs'? And are such practices too lucrative for those who benefit to give up and take chances with honourable dealings so that all may prosper? What a changed society that would create.

I'm not looking for sympathy. I just want a fair go!

I refuse to believe that our path is pre-ordained, and that we are unable to change it. That would be to maintain the status quo of a messed up society and surely, that is not Nature's purpose?

I can look back and see how my life has come to this. I come from a line who assumes that others are as honourable in their dealings as we are - until we find out otherwise, and then the damage is done. So is it possible to recover - with greater insight?

Much thinking aloud today. I am deep in consideration of what I see about me and wondering how it can be other than I have stated - that the best people are in the worst situations - and why. How did the lives of so many good people otherwise get in such a mess? And how do we recover?

Hi @Historylover . I've been quite remiss. Not replying because I simply didn't know how to respond.

I don't have any answers, I'm afraid.

I used to believe that the problem was simply that people aren't adequately re-housed into their proper environments - their true home cultures; and I think, to a degree, that is still a huge part of the problem. But I just don't get people anymore. Truth be told, I don't know if I ever did; I just assumed I did. I don't know why the world is the way it is or why anybody wants to keep living here.

I can't fault people who have found themselves at home and who try vigorously to maintain the environment that gives their life value - I know I would fight just as vigorously to maintain my own community if I ever found myself living within my true home. I know what it would feel like to be cast back into the abyss from a place of such goodness, because I've been treading water in that cold abyss all my life.

I just wish those people would be decent enough to direct us to our kinsmen, instead of trying to horsewhip and shame us all into play-acting as if we were one of them. I don't think even they find any benefit in it. I think they see it as a tiresome chore, and a financial money-pit. So I don't know what the mentality is.

Humanity seems to have an addiction to being miserable that I simply can't comprehend. I've always seen misery as a plague that needs to be cured, but others apparently love it. I just don't understand.

I think we all just want a fair go. But I don't know how that works when we all need to go in such very differant directions.

Hello again @chibam Gosh! How things can change at the drop of a hat! I had dropped in just to let everyone know that I was doing alright despite everything. It isn't easy, but I was plodding on, taking up new challenges. Considerable progress had been made, I thought - with my U3A etc. I thought my message might reach one or two others who often feel like giving up and encourage them to just keep going. There are always inevitable setbacks along the way which make us again think it isn't worth continuing - but it is! There are places for us all if we just get out of our comfort zone!! Take up a new challenge, try something new. My post was in continuation with my relationship with previous posters who have been my salvation - and anyone else who may feel some alignment. I was trying to say I'm doing alright in previously unknown territory - and 'you' - generally speaking - can too.

AussieRecharger's response just made me angry and I'm not sorry for expressing it. It had nothing to do with what I was trying to convey and I felt it ill-considered, and, as far as I was concerned, completely off topic. Others may think otherwise. I am sorry if he thought he was adding something helpful to the conversation. Sometimes I have tried to help others who have attacked me - not literally - in response, too. I guess we all have to learn where our input is relevant and appropriate. I wish him well. He is more than welcome to add to our conversation at any time.

You have said previously that you don't get the concept of 'finding oneself'. I consider it to be simply finding out that we are not the less capable person we assumed ourselves, demanding more of ourselves, challenging ourselves - and finding it by stepping out of our comfort zone. Constantly learning new things. Getting out of our rut! That our potential is enormous and to waste it is a waste of our lives!

To know myself of several decades ago to who I am now is like chalk and cheese. I would never have thought such change possible. I just want others to know the same is possible for them. I could have just continued along the same path - and looked back at stagnation, at best. I'm so grateful that I did not.

I don't consider that I am trying to make others want what I want. I consider that I am trying to inspire them to also want it for themselves. To know that so much more is possible.

You have said that you have known educated people who are very unhappy. I am paraphrasing so that I don't have to stop and find your other post to check, but I think that was your message. Unhappy people come from all walks of life. I know educated people who can't wait to get out of bed each day for the exhiliaration of their professions. It exhiliarates me too.

U3A has been harrowing. It sometimes seems that I am the only new person there. It has made me realize, for the first time, the difficulties children face when they have to change schools. It has taxed me to the extreme - trying to find my place in the group, remember people's names, learning, sometimes, that I am not as clever as I thought I was (shock!) - and sometimes more so. I am also volunteering at reception twice a month. Learning who I can trust. Getting to know and understand people. Being part of a team in a new environment.

As I said, I feel like quitting every other day as it really is exhausting me emotionally and also physically. But I have taken up this challenge and giving up is not an option.

I WILL survive!!

Hope you are well.