Hi @Historylover ,
@Historylover wrote:
Hello @chibam You can't imagine how good it is to hear from you. It has been so long I had wondered if I had done or said something wrong.
Sorry about that. I'm not very good at keeping things flowing once a conversation seems to have 'died'; once it feels like everything's been said that needs to be said. Also, I'm quite a sporadic user of these forums. I dip in and out depending on whether I feel like I'm up for a wander around the forums, with their often-depressing content. It's a venture you need the strength of morale to undertake, you know? Like, if your feeling emotionally exhausted, you probably aren't up for a session of wandering around a forum full of everybody else's troubles, you know? Maybe that's just me.
It also depends on what else is going on in my life; whether I have the time to get involved in forum discussions.
I see some users on here who are dilligent SANE contributors. Multiple posts of substance, every single day without fail. I'm afraid that's just not me. I just pop in and out from time to time as best I can.
@Historylover wrote:
How have you been? I hope somethings are going well for you.
Same old, same old, I'm afraid. 
@Historylover wrote:
When I started my Depression treatment so long ago the system was completely different. When I hear others speak now I am bewildered as to how the system thinks it is helpful for people to have to wait weeks and months to see someone when they are in crisis - and often for 10 consultations in a year? How does it help to have such constraints?
Do they believe these delays and limitations are helpful? I've only ever heard the system complaining about these things; protesting to the government that they need much more money and resources to get rid of these obstacles. As far as I've seen, they freely acknowledge that delayed access and limitations on sessions are massive handicaps for their patients' recoveries; but they are bound by their own lack of resources.
@Historylover wrote:
How does it help when no help is forthcoming anyway?
THIS, as far as I'm concerned is the real problem. And with all the fuss that's traditionally been made about the lack of funding & resources, it's always upset me that nobody calls out the fact that injecting more money and resources into a system that does no good only means that they will continue to do no good at double the speed and efficiency that they've traditionally had. In other words, they will only become better at what they already do: wasting patients' time and harming them.
The discussion has been so dominated by the "we don't have enough funding" voices that, up until recently, the voices protesting the foul character of the system went largely unheard. But I really get the impression that that's starting to change now. Just last month, the Suicide Prevention Minister put out a new draft policy booklet indicating that the government wishes to appoint currant & former suicidal people to be the foremost policymakers and media spokespeople in the field of suicide, as opposed to the more traditional "experts". The document also made constant referance to the fact that the system's failings are almost entirely in attitude, intent & behavior, and not largely rooted in a lack of money.
I can hardly believe it, but it is really starting to seem like the government are finally starting to see the true nature of the system's ugliness.
@Historylover wrote:
The whole system - 'industry' - is so destructive - "dirty" as you so accurately say. We patients think that we are getting help and it's not until we have exited the system so damaged by those who only pretended to know what they were doing - or who had malicious intent - that we understand what is truly going on. Put it out there and so often there are those who say that the system is helping some people. I'm more than disgusted. And still others think that getting a diagnosis is helpful and even the purpose of treatment without realizing that it doesn't help at all and is probably wrong anyway!
Well, I can't argue with another person's sincerely testifying to their own experiance, even if I can't understand it. We all have the right so say what we've been through and what did and didn't work for us.
Still, I must admit that sometimes I can't help but wonder whether I am listening to a person's genuine, self-determined perception of their own situation, or whether I'm hearing things that the system has brainwashed them into saying. I fully accept that people can be very differant from me and can experiance things in ways I would never understand. But that being said, sometimes the things I hear don't entirely seem 'natural', if you know what I mean? It's usually in the langauge; the phrases people use and the way they frame concepts. Often it's hard to imagine a person naturally coming to phrase things the way they do - and it speaks more to the likelihood that the system has in some way dictated their views about their situation. But maybe that's just me being unkind. Maybe it's just my prejudice against the system. We are all blind to our own faults, aren't we? That's what makes being part of society so scary, IMHO. How much harm are we doing just by being who we are?
@Historylover wrote:
I am sorry for being on such a downer. I felt well this morning and then I went into another bout of distress when I remember the situation I am in. He has messed me up so thoroughly.
I suspect we all have moments like that; when the grim reality just pushes it's weight down on us - seemingly without any specific trigger. You don't need to apologize for it.
I'm sorry, BTW, to hear about your ongoing struggles with your ex-therapist. It sucks, doesn't it, when they get inside our heads and we can't figure out how to get them out again? I'm afraid I don't have any answers or remedies to offer. But I hope things improve for you, regardless.
