Moving forward

Thanks @Appleblossom. It means heaps that you identify this. I was starting to feel like a freak again. I guess I was under the impression that I could work at not experiencing my extreme emotions anymore but after a very brief chat with my therapist today it appears that's not going to be the case. I have to learn not to buy into them. And yep, find a bit of distance with them. I'm really glad you feel like you are having some wins from a year ago. Cheers 💜😊

@Kurra

Hi @Former-Member ..... 💜💕

Just wanted to say .... that's what I meant when I said I am carrying sadness in my backpack, but I don't unpack it very often .... and that's not the only emotional response I've got packed away in there .....

It's not that I am denying my feelings .... it's sort of like the EMDR that others have been describing here .... I can relate to the feelings and responses I have "packed away" .... but I am refusing to engage with them and ride the roller coaster that would happen all over my day ..... I am choosing to remain emotionally withdrawn from those responses because they would keep me from engaging with the things that I can do .... but my awareness that they are there somewhere means I am acknowledging that they exist and have value ....

Does that make sense ?

@Appleblossom and others here have been through that sens of "swamping" that you are experiencing, and are letting you know they can empathise with the state and stage you are in .... but to keep paddling .... keep working with your therapist .... and it will improve .... you will become able to pack them away .... stabilise .... refer to the issues and your responses without having to experience the full emotional loading along with it ....

You're not on your own in this .... and you're so worth it ❣

@Faith-and-Hope I guess I'm just learning about all this. The funny thing is that through all the therapy I've had I missed this. Even when you wrote it yesterday I guess I didn't really understand it. For my whole life I've let my emotions (and thoughts) rule. If something happened it would take me out for days at a time and I didn't cope but I flew under the radar because I wasn't working. I am so confused again about things again and feeling massively insecure. Yesterday we worked out that my elephant in the room is really shame mostly. DPD causes me shame and much of that has been triggered lately from a whole heap of things. I guess as I am writing this I'm realising that shame causes my most intense reactions and emotions that I can't sit with. As always thank you so much for sharing this with me. Right now it means more than you'll ever know. My insecurities are running at an all time high and it helps so much to talk this out FREQUENTLY! ( I know a little too much right now). Thanks again 💜💜💜💐💐💐

It is really good for us to receive this sort of feedback @Former-Member .... it can be hard to know whether something is helpful or not .... 💕

We are all on different learning curves .... and can be battling vastly different circumstances .... if nothing else it helps us all to develop empathy ... and at times gratitude for things we may have taken for granted in our own lives .... 💜🌷

The value in the forums is peer support .... that's what we are all here for in one capacity or another ... 😘

Hi @Former-Member 💜

I think it is the result of a coming together of a set of skills .... like driving a car I guess .... and particularly when you're learning to drive a manual car, it takes a while to master the different aspects .... to "feel" some of the aspects ... and to co-ordinate the aspects .... 🚗 .....

That might sound a bit intimidating, but that's why I chose the analogy of driving a car .... it's something you already know how to do .... so you're not intimidated at the thought of driving .... 😊

As you progress through gaining a stronger sense of emotional control, please use this to keep yourself steady wherever you can .... like a mantra .... "I can do this .... it's like driving a car .... it's a co-ordination exercise ... it will take practice ..." ❣

You will have stalled on hill-starts before. You will stall sometimes on "hill-starts" emotionally. We all do.💕

You will have reversed into something and created a bit of a dent before. You will reverse sometimes and get a bit of a "dent" sometimes. We all do.💕

You will have forgotten to check a mirror sometimes and have had a close call changing lanes. You will forget to check something will someone at times, and there will be a bit of fall-out or "close call" situations (something special was lost a couple of days ago... ?). It happens to the best of us ....💕

Its going to take patience with yourself to develop these skills @Former-Member ..... and you will need the support of your therapist as you do .... she needs to be your conscience and inner voice of reason as you develop your own strength with both.💕

Do you need some time to think about this .... before I add on to it .... ? I don't want to overwhelm you, it's a big subject .... 🌷💜

Hi @Former-Member 💜

It sounds like it is a matter of just getting through the day at this stage.

i hope I have helped you to plant the thought in there somewhere that you can and will survive this .... with learning of strategies ahead of you to make it progressively easier ....

Breathe. Just rest, and breathe ....

💐💜💐💜💐💜💐