Moving forward

at least its not computer games and its physical, just get your own tv maybe, and hope there's no 'coaching' in the yelling but good on ya @utopia

Hi @Former-Member

It sounds to me as if you are tired and miserable - back home with your Dad - I get that - I was not happy in my parents' home but Dad often took me out with him - and that I remember as being great

No parent wakes up in the morning and decides to give their kids a hard time - I know not all parents are good parents but from reading what you write I think you are pretty good - your heart is in the right place and you care

And sometimes you don't make it - you are being a father and a mother after all - how high up the chart do you have to be - you can only do your best and some days that will be less

I found it so lacking in stimulation having two small children and their father was a travelling salesman and away every second week - how wonderfully lacking was the conversation I loved the children but those early years were boring and Dad turned up with an old B&W TV for me - concerned about my lonely nights -

So even though we all have different situations - we go through the same sort of stuff -

I live in Government Housing but this is a nice place and it is the first place that I have felt was my home. It's safe here - away from the tourists and drunken parties when I lived before here - and I am far better off alone

Even so - I do think back to the time when I felt happy before these last years and that was when Dad took me out - or Gran took me to her place - but I was a child then - or a young person - now I am an adult and can choose.

I was an adult when my children were young but I couldn't really choose then - but this is the time to begin to have thoughts of emanicpation - you can start this when you still have young children - you are alone so you can have some choices

But financially it is hard - this I know - but also - this is when I started reading about women's rights and female emancipiation -

I really do hope you feel better today - I hope this helps - everyone is caring about you -

All the best @Former-Member

Decadian

..that may be re 'uncool mum' @utopia but with my brief visitations with 'little people' I mostly seemed to get my way if need be.. yeah, hard game, playing it as a kid always seemed to work for me. Gave them both sides of story, then threw in interest and sideways offers ..haha .. yeah I wasn't fair to parents, sister was actually jealous of me at one stage when her boys were young 'well, you get to play the clown and go home and we get the bad stuff and pay the bills' ..issues.. anyway hers turned out uber ok and others re younger brother going same way. Miss them.

Ok here's the thing. I know my mood is better lately but I'm feeling so lost and confused again with everything. Even been questioning whether my therapist and I should be working on some things or if I need some different help with a few things. My brain has been going in circles over the past few days with one of the thoughts being what am I trying to problem solve in the first place. I feel like I don't know what I'm supposed to be working on at the moment and frustrated at myself for not letting anything go and overthinking everything. Weirdest thing today my mood was good but hormones bad, felt good but cried at the drop of a hat aggghhhh

..and.. what changed from when you were feeling good?? Come on Sister..

Good question @TAB. Maybe expectations of myself.