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Moving forward

Unknown userMember13 Aug 2016, 9:20 pm AEST

Moving forward

As Monday looms I have been trying to work out how to move forward. Today I started collecting things for my coping box (thanks @Crazy_Bug_Lady). I bought some of my fave chocolates to put in and have been gathering bits and pieces. Happy for any other suggestions as to what to put in. I think I may need one for the car too. I'm thinking I may copy some pieces of wisdom from this forum and print them up to add in.

I'm hoping that I get to write more on this thread than the struggle thread as time goes by. Please feel free to add how you are moving forward as well. 💜😊

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In response to: Moving forward

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor07 Sept 2016, 4:02 pm AEST

Re: Moving forward

Yep @utopia @Former-Member ....

That's what I'm talking about ....

If you were slinging mud at his dad, your son would likely consider that you're both as bad as each other .... but when they can clearly see a values difference they make up their own mind, and respect you for your role, even though nobody is perfect, nobody gets it right all the time, the kids can recognise authenticity ....

🌷💜

In response to: Moving forward

DecadianSenior Contributor07 Sept 2016, 6:06 pm AEST

Re: Moving forward

Yep @Former-Member

Your kids will work it out - esp if they start to have the mind they are already develop within them - and the teenage years that perceive more will be here soon

And then those children will be young men - and definitely more protective of the mother who has raised them will love and care and given them self-respect

About policing the kids in the neighbourhood - or the street anyway - I don't remember that happening when I was growing up - but then - kids were kept in the yard more and playdates hadn't been invented - but that was then and this is now and when there have been children playing in these units I have had to have a chat with them at times - the kids seemed to think it was okay to run through the garden and alas - could have landed on anything in the ivy that tends to get out of control around here

All the best with all of that and yes - I understand that you are tired today - life can be like that at times

Dec

In response to: Re: Moving forward

Unknown userMember07 Sept 2016, 6:23 pm AEST

Re: Moving forward

@Former-Member. I just want to reiterate what the others have said about the dad thing. Mine took years as they were only 5,4,3 and 8 months when we separated to work out what was what with their father and for many aspects their dad has been a good dad but not all. One of mine came home at about 16 from a visit he told me how grateful he was they got to grow up with me. They do get a bull:pile_of_poo: filter and you'll be so glad you took the high road when it happens. I think it's so important to hold the line. I've ended up saying what their dad was not so good at but also what he was really good at to to make him human because they don't have much contact as he lives interstate. I know your story is completely different and I know they'll understand that part one day too. Keep on keeping on @Former-Member youre doing a great job. If it's any consolation I really struggled with the whole having kids over stuff and neighbourhood stuff. I think I was so anxious all the time about it. I'm so glad to be past it and know my kids have done ok, your time will come too. 💜😊

In response to: Moving forward

Unknown userMember07 Sept 2016, 9:22 pm AEST

Re: Moving forward

Sorry I'm a bit slow on reply @Decadian, @Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member, @utopia
I feel achey tonight & my mood has dropped considerably.
I had a moment upon walking home with bub from shop today where I drifted off.
I felt compelled to just stop and sit in middle of the service road.
I became suddenly tired.
My feeling was that I just wanted to go home.
Not home here, but in qld.
The last place I felt safe with dad.
Well I'm tired but yes thank you all for your words, kind thoughts.
I hear them all. ❤

In response to: Re: Moving forward

TABSenior Contributor07 Sept 2016, 9:31 pm AEST

Re: Moving forward

oh dear ..hope you're ok @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Moving forward

Unknown userMember07 Sept 2016, 9:36 pm AEST

Re: Moving forward

Hugs @Former-Member 💜😊. I hope you get some good rest tonight and your mood lifts tomorrow. Man it's easy to write that but hard to live it. Take care, thinking of you💜😊

In response to: Moving forward

Unknown userMember07 Sept 2016, 10:07 pm AEST

Re: Moving forward

Yeah. I'm ok @TAB.
Ive taken note of my moment today.
Otherwise I forget.
I'm not sure where I went.
Maybe is was overwhelm, I don't think so but more like feeling oh no, I can see these house's, it all looks nice but this isn't my home.
I was sad, I just didn't know how I could really get home.
Just a moment I guess because I can explain it now.
As we do. Have moments of being lost.😊

Well I think you are right I must need good rest @Former-Member, for sure.
I hope to be a better mum in the morning.😊

In response to: Moving forward

utopiaSenior Contributor07 Sept 2016, 11:56 pm AEST

Re: Moving forward

@Former-Member. None of us are perfect and that's expecially true of parents and single parents.
I have yelled like a banshee. I've slept and left my boy to get his own dinner and get to bed. I've done heaps of things that I'm not proud of. But ive also done some great things. I encourage his passions. I listen more to what he says - unless it's soccer players - then I tune out - I can't help it.
Be gentle with yourself. I bet you are doing a far better job at parenting, than you give yourself credit for.
But at the moment, you sound totally exhausted. Sounds like you could do with some special you time. Don't know ages of your children, but wonder if there is a friend who could help look after the kids for 2 hours or so. To allow you an afternoon nap. Or a bubble bath. Or a coffee at a cafe. Or reading a magazine or listening to music without any interruptions. I hope you can make this happen.
Be gentle with yourself. Remind yourself yourcchildren are loved and safe and that you are doing the best you can at the moment.

In response to: Moving forward

Unknown userMember08 Sept 2016, 12:04 am AEST

Re: Moving forward

Hi @Former-Member 🙂

In response to: Re: Moving forward

TABSenior Contributor08 Sept 2016, 1:37 am AEST

Re: Moving forward

hearing that re soccer @utopia ..they even get upset if you call it that these days and not foo ball .. I sometimes amplify my interest in sport to get younger brothers attention these days .. sad ..because it works, and because my only interest in it is talking to him these days, no interest in any sport anymore, it sorta died for me year by year last few yrs

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