Hi @Former-Member .... 😏
Just park that list up for now if it's too intense, and come back to it later ....
My mama taught me to be my own best friend from early on .... some thing I think she worked out through many years of ill health as a child with many hours in bed recovering from pneumonia and such, which were life-threatening in her era .... and in the company of a mother with an undiagnosed mi of some description which left them with a strained and barely functional relationship.
I am only really becoming aware of what a gift that was .... something I have, perhaps, taken a bit for granted ...
It provides me inner fortitude .... and I wish this for you ... but as you said, your journey with this is under way ....
Be well @Former-Member
The party for S2 went very well for him, and everyone else .... yes, I am somewhat exhausted, but feeling emotionally bruised probably more so .... WH was emotionally and physically absent through all the preparations for, and in the day, whereas previously it was something we took on together, and part of the joy is the journey towards the goal .... not only was he absent, but it's a two-parent job, and he was hand balling his previous workload to me when I had my own three-ring circus to manage .... not my monkeys but all over my circus anyway ....
Same happened with D3's 18th, but his time even more so .... a rude reminder that he is not who he was .... compassion absent, joy absent, critical of my efforts over holding up his end ..... grrrr .... blah .... it came together anyway and with some style .... and then he waltzes into the night in "charmer" mode and carries it off as the perfect host ..... grrrr .... blah .... but still nowhere near conscious that he's not well, and looking well to everybody there who is not in the know ....
D1 whispers in my ear across the night, "Let it go Mum .... just switch off .... can't help him so just let it go ...." and we have to, or the night and all it means becomes lost to us .... lost to the illness ....
I will be fine .... just feeling bruised today .... and I know you have picked that up already .... 💜😘💐
Your compassion is soothing and welcome .... thanks for being here ....
