Thanks @WIP @outlander @Snowie @Anastasia @Eve7 @Emelia8
ive just got home from my appointment with the new pdoc- yes I managed to get myself there just. I swear he is almost 100 and don't know how he is still registered. He said he moved here 25 yrs ago to retired but loves psychiatry so much he kept going. I could hardly hear him the majority of the time and was constantly asking him to repeat himself. I think when he opened the door i immediately had reservations about how this was going to go. I tried to have an open mind though as I walked in.
I had concerns about having to tell my story all over again but my gp reassured me that she had sent a very thorough history and it wouldn't be so bad. It was. I had to go over everything. I did not mention the SA that happened the other night.
I'm not sure how helpful he is going to be. he was puzzled by my eating issues, apparently very unusual to develop them at my age. But he did confirm that diagnosis- which is what my gp wanted so that she can do me up a EDP. He also added complex PTSD/BPD- he said it's hard to distinguish between them, GA, major depression and others that again I didn't hear.
I have another appointment with him in 2 weeks time and then again a week later, he said he was going to help me with something- I didn't quite hear him though. He said I need to learn to leave my past behind me. I know that but it's not as simple as that.
he doesn't like medication. I think I was really hoping he would give me more meds. I'm currently only on a low dose ad and I'm obviously not coping. I can't live like this anymore. I feel shattered today. So tired. I feel like I am going to fall apart once my daughter starts school next week. I will no longer have a reason to exist through the day. It concerns me. I'm scared I will end up self medicating my days away. I again feel extremely hopeless.
Sorry @WIP that was a long answer to your how are you.
