My Mosaic

@Bow

Sorry! I was replying and my phone ran out of battery.

Not knowing what to do can feel very overwhelming and fighting the thoughts would be exhausting. It’s a lot to be dealing with.

I was going to suggest it might be worth calling one of the crisis lines again, because I know that calling a different line or talking to a different person can wildly change how the conversation feels. I know you didn’t have a good experience the other day though and I didn’t want to be insensitive to that.

Thanks @Wintersweet yeah I may reach out to a help line things not going ok right now. Tomorrow I might drop into safe haven

how r u today?

Hey @Bow ,

I'm sitting with you tonight, and thinking of you. It sounds like you've been carrying a lot and I'm glad you're reaching out for support to stay safe.

The community is also here with you. You are so valued!

~ Honeymoon

@Bow

Dropping into Safe Haven is an excellent idea! I was going to ask if something like that was an option but thought it might be unhelpful to suggest if it wasn’t an option. Hope that the help line is able to help you feel heard and less alone.

I’m ok. Last night was a bit rough so I’ve been trying to keep myself distracted.

Thanks @Honeymoon night isn’t going too well

hoping that there will be someone there to talk to @Wintersweet havr only been 2 other times once with my SW so not feeling to confident in going but will try.

im sorry last night wasn’t too good, what kinda things you been doing to keep distracted?

@Bow

I’m proud of you for being willing to try even though you don’t feel super confident. I really hope it’s helpful 💛

I was fortunate that I told two friends that I’d spend the day with them and they’ve been chatting so I’ve just been able to just listen in without having to contribute too much.

Thanks @Wintersweet hopefully I can get myself there.

im glad you had some friends around you today.

my D came out not long ago crying over a loose tooth. She couldn’t get it out and it had been pushed forward and was annoying her. I suggested a piece of string which she accepted but couldn’t manage to get the loop around her tooth so I tried. Eventually got it and a quick tug which she wasn’t expecting and it was out!

We just finished watching The Help and have now started Hidden figures, but I think I’ll be in bed soon.

@Bow

Good job getting D’s tooth sorted for her!

I really liked Hidden Figures but I hope you can get to bed and sleep well soon. Hope you’re able to get to Safe Haven tomorrow too 💛

@Bow @Snowie and @Eve7

Thinking of you all today and hoping the day holds what you need it to. 💛

Afternoon @Wintersweet @Snowie @Eve7

woke up this morning not feeling refreshed at all, extremely tired. I could very well gone back to bed like yesterday but that isn’t a habit that I want to get into. It was a very slow morning until it was time to take D to shops to get a present for her friend’s birthday and I also had her get a Father’s Day gift while we were there. Then dropped D at her friends house.

I then went to safe haven. I think I sat in the car for 10 minutes working up the courage to go in. The building is fenced and you have to press a buzzer and wait for someone to come greet you and let you in. That wait felt like minutes. So thankful that a lady came out. She asked if I’ve been there before and I have once with my SW maybe a year ago but no came out of my mouth, so she took me straight to a quiet room and it was slow and gentle, exactly what I needed. We chatted and it was helpful. She asked if I needed hospital and I hesitated for ages and then told her I’m really trying to avoid that. Anyway we chatted, I stay for 2hrs and she encouraged me to come back tomorrow.

now I’m tired and want a nap.

my mum had a missed call from my aunt this morning too. She couldn’t manage to get her back on the phone so ended up messaging my cousin this afternoon who informed my mum that my uncle, her brother, had passed awake last night. He accessed VAD. I was pretty close to my aunt and uncle cause I lived with them for a year while I went to college.